Going Deep: A Gay Guide to Reality
46 episodes - English - Latest episode: 10 days ago -A retired WeHo gay exploring the correlation between sex and meaning.
mikegerle.substack.com
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Episodes
What Really Happens on a Gay Cruise?
April 18, 2024 19:08 - 12 minutes - 8.48 MB“Hey! It’s you guys. I didn’t know you’d be on the ship!” It takes me two full seconds to recognize the tall, lean Italian with dark eyes and grey-speckled beard stubble before a surge of joy-filled love overtakes me. I embrace him with one arm and squeeze my husband’s wrist in the elevator bay crowded with men in costumes. “Dennis! Look who it is!” We are taking a bathroom break during the first themed dance party of the seven-day March 2024 Atlantis Events (99% gay) cruise on the Va...
One Bag Of Bones At A Time.
April 08, 2024 19:08 - 3 minutes - 2.53 MBEasy to say. “You’re perfect.” “I see you as perfect.” All you need to do is let go of all the thoughts, beliefs, emotions, mental constructs, advertisements, comparisons on social media, and the tap tap tap of that nagging voice that says, “Don’t fall behind. You can still catch up. You can still win!” Just follow your breath. Well, notice it first. Can you? That thing you do every moment of every day. That very first thing you did when you slipped wet and cold into existence....
An Opening of the Raw Self
February 29, 2024 18:20 - 3 minutes - 2.51 MBJust feelings. That’s what this week is about. Preparing for an ayahuasca plant ceremony is an opening of the raw self. It’s day 6 of taking away most of the things that help me avoid feelings. Coffee, weed, alcohol, refined sugar, red meat, lots of other things… and, wait for it, ejaculation! Yup. Just sit there and take it bitch! Worried about your substack, your husband’s struggles, your relevance in gay men’s culture, your mom’s reality without your dad, your other mom’s torments...
Beyond Sport F*cking
February 02, 2024 02:42 - 10 minutes - 7.21 MBMoments after the door to my condo closed behind us, the stranger I’d cruised on the subway locked his mouth on mine. I eagerly accepted. The tension of 30+ minutes of eyeing each other in the train car, up the escalators, down Sunset Blvd., to this moment, piqued our primal need to engage. He pulled at the bottom of his shirt. I leaned away from kissing his scruffy face and said, “Hold on, can I get that for you?” and I slowly pulled his shirt up, revealing his bare skin, happy trail, ...
The Mostly Contempt Leather Remix
January 24, 2024 19:53 - 16 minutes - 11.6 MBMy last post, Love, Contempt, and Leather Contests, ended up being a lackluster whimper that confused a few people. Thank you guys for the feedback. “Where’s the contempt?” they asked. And they were right to ask. In haste to meet my publishing deadline (on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays), I rushed a piece that was not ready for release. I also let an effort to be magnanimous prevent me from being brave. I am afraid to hurt the feelings of people I have grown to care about, even love. But so...
Love, Contempt, and Leather Contests
January 19, 2024 00:22 - 6 minutes - 4.8 MBOverwhelmed by crowds of geared-up men at my first leather event, a Tom of Finland “Butt Boy” party in Hollywood, I escaped to an outdoor patio for a cigarette. I was in my late 20s, in the mid-1990s, wearing gear I’d purchased specifically for the event: a harness, armbands, a classic leather cap, leather shorts, and boots from an army surplus store on Santa Monica Blvd. With my naked back against a cool brick wall, I watched as men drifted between rooms while I pulled casually on my cigare...
Battlefield Awareness: Finding Focus in Sexual Playgrounds
January 04, 2024 20:18 - 12 minutes - 8.66 MB“I blink, and you’re hooked up with someone!” My husband says with his testosterone-fueled competitive voice. I get a wonderful turn-on when I see this side of my normally deferential, even-mannered, Vulcan-like boy. It’s dangerously delicious. His full 42-year-old, tall, masculine body radiates primal testosterone. Men turn me on, so seeing him charged with desire and vexed sexual frustration is intoxicating. It makes him sexually vibrant and desirable. I feel like a badass. And he confirm...
Yes, I Said “Old.” Calm Down.
December 21, 2023 15:00 - 9 minutes - 6.6 MBI was recently at an all-gay birthday party, standing in a small gaggle of well-known friends comparing ages. The birthday “boy” was 44. I let the group know I will be 59 this April. Then said, “I’m old.” “You’re not old!” One of them insisted, his eyes confused. I stood my ground and insisted that, by the numbers around life expectancy, I was in the final 3rd or 4th of my life. His expression changed to befuddled surprise. He then scanned me up and down before saying, with some exaspe...
Winning the Party
August 04, 2023 01:12 - 10 minutes - 9.46 MBTwo years ago, while in my 57th year, I began going out to dance parties again. To my surprise, reentering the gay dance party scene at 56 proved to be, and continues to be, a much more edifying experience than it was in my 20s. I give credit for this transformation to decades of seeking with my MFT therapists Karen, Jim, Winston, and Sharon, a Forum-like intensive called The Experience, MKP men’s retreats, meditation retreats, yoga teacher training, coaching training, Tantra training, a p...
Inspired Sex Masterclass: "Let's Talk About Sex" BAM Episode Revisited
November 06, 2020 01:00 - 27 minutes - 38.1 MBInterested in a 3-way? ... Sign up for our Masterclass Trio: Sex / Love & Relationships / Spirituality & Intuition Bundle In these courses, you'll learn tips, tricks and insider information from 3 generations of gay men. You'll leave knowing how to prepare your mind, body, and spirit to give & receive the sex you desire and deserve. You'll explore finding love in all the right places! Find the inspired answers inside of you waiting to be discovered. Evoke your true desires and empoweri...
Exploring Mentorship with Sister Unity
October 30, 2020 14:00 - 10 minutes - 14.8 MBInterested in a 3-way? ... Sign up for our Masterclass Trio: Sex / Love & Relationships / Spirituality & Intuition today! In these courses, you'll learn tips, tricks and insider information from 3 generations of gay men. You'll leave knowing how to prepare your mind, body, and spirit to give & receive the sex you desire and deserve. You'll explore finding love in all the right places! Find the inspired answers inside of you waiting to be discovered. Evoke your true desires and empoweri...
Exploring Shame with Sister Unity
October 16, 2020 14:00 - 11 minutes - 16 MBHello GerleMen listeners. She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent. And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming. While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles H...
Exploring Intuition with Sister Unity
October 02, 2020 14:00 - 11 minutes - 15.7 MBDear listeners - join us next week for our Sex, Love & Relationships virtual workshop!! We'd love to see you join the discussion and connect in real-time. xo Hello GerleMen listeners. She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent. And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming. While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the...
Exploring Inspiration with Sister Unity
September 18, 2020 14:00 - 11 minutes - 15.3 MBHello GerleMen listeners. She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent. And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming. While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles H...
Exploring Empowerment with Sister Unity
September 04, 2020 14:00 - 9 minutes - 12.5 MBHello GerleMen listeners. She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent. And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming. While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles H...
Sister Unity talks about Celebration!
August 21, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 5.78 MBHello GerleMen listeners. She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent. And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming. While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles H...
Exploring Celebration with Sister Unity!
August 21, 2020 14:00 - 8 minutes - 11.5 MBHello GerleMen listeners. She is hilarious. She is irreverent. She is devastating in her academic acumen and her theatrical talent. And, although we may be laughing, her messages are packed with wisdom and insights many listeners will find life-affirming. While we pause our regular episodes and prepare a spectacular Season 2 of the GerleMen Podcast, we’d like you to enjoy some short, bonus episodes, co-hosted by my dear friend and rambunctious orange Nun, Sister Unity of the Los Angeles H...
Feelings, Sex & Queer Hollywood - Celebrating Season 1
July 31, 2020 14:00 - 5 minutes - 8 MBHello GerleMen listeners! I want to thank you for listening to the premiere season of the GerleMen Podcast as we wrap up Season 1. On the show, we explored everything from “feelings” to “sex” to “spirituality” to “queer Hollywood” all sprinkled with the reality of the COVID-19 pandemic and a resurgence of social justice with Black Lives Matter protests. A special highlight for me personally was the episode with my Momon Father where he told us about ‘loving-kindness.' When this all start...
BAM: Let's Talk About Sex
July 24, 2020 14:00 - 25 minutes - 35.1 MBI need to get honest with you about sex. Because I love it, and believe that celebrating mindful, “conscious sex” is essential for gay men’s dignity. My last "Being A Man," or BAM, episode was about moving from oppression to celebration; and I barely mentioned sex at all. After a long discussion with my boyfriend regarding my struggle writing that episode, I realized that I had let my socialized, American, fear about sex, launch me into a clumsy, diatribe about fear itself, and my fear o...
The Union of Sex & Spirit with Yogi Joel Benjamin
July 17, 2020 14:00 - 52 minutes - 72 MBToday’s conversation with Joel our first deep dive into the connection sex and spirituality. Joel helps us try on the ancient Tantra concept that everything about our experience on earth is spiritual -- including our sexual energy. Prior to the pandemic, I visited Joel’s gorgeous studio in Seattle where I learned to celebrate, cultivate, and conserve my own lower chakra energy. The experience was an embodiment of transforming crotch-centered connections into a heart-centered community. E...
Rev. Jesse - Just F-ing Love Each Other
July 10, 2020 14:00 - 54 minutes - 74.9 MBRev. Jesse Brune-Horan has been a celebrity chef and a personal trainer, appearing on both Bravo and Oprah. But his true calling is his spiritual work and mission. On this episode, he shows us how celebrating his authenticity as a gay man is key to his spiritual growth. Rev. Jesse has a deep sense of personal dignity, a no-nonsense realness toward embracing spirituality, and an ability to give white people concrete advice on advancing social justice for black Americans. Jesse is a gay man...
Brian D. Mahan: Healing Trauma & Shame
July 03, 2020 14:00 - 1 hour - 42 MBToday I talk with Brian D. Mahan. He is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. I wanted to talk to Brian because he is a treasure trove of information on healing trauma. Trauma is something all humans experience, but gay people and people labeled as “the other” tend to experience more than our fair share of it. Brian is a self-described “wounded healer” who describes how we can use our bodies as a conduit to the wisdom of our intuition. Since our intuition is where the answers to happiness ...
Healing Trauma & Shame with Brian D. Mahan
July 03, 2020 14:00 - 1 hour - 83.9 MBToday I talk with Brian D. Mahan. He is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. I wanted to talk to Brian because he is a treasure trove of information on healing trauma. Trauma is something all humans experience, but gay people and people labeled as “the other” tend to experience more than our fair share of it. Brian is a self-described “wounded healer” who describes how we can use our bodies as a conduit to the wisdom of our intuition. Since our intuition is where the answers to happiness ...
Adventures in Brotherhood with Chris Kuwahara-Smith
June 26, 2020 14:00 - 53 minutes - 73.9 MBToday’s guest is Chris Kuwahara-Smith. I wanted to interview Chris because he creates heart-centered community through his organization, California Gay Adventures (CGA). During CGA-hosted camping trip in Zion National Park, it became clear to me that Chris is doing something important - something that is both classic and radically different. California Gay Adventures delivers iconic American outdoorsmen culture (that’s the classic part) and he does it specifically for gay men and LGBT...
Chris Kuwahara-Smith: Adventures in Brotherhood
June 26, 2020 14:00 - 53 minutes - 37 MBToday’s guest is Chris Kuwahara-Smith. I wanted to interview Chris because he creates heart-centered community through his organization, California Gay Adventures (CGA). During CGA-hosted camping trip in Zion National Park, it became clear to me that Chris is doing something important - something that is both classic and radically different. California Gay Adventures delivers iconic American outdoorsmen culture (that’s the classic part) and he does it specifically for gay men and LGBT...
Hey Gerle! Gifts of the Gay Son with Mike & His Dad
June 19, 2020 14:00 - 55 minutes - 76.1 MBToday's is a very special Father's Day episode of “Hey Gerle!” with Mike's father, Bill! The “Hey Gerle!” episodes are designed to be an “ask anything” Q&A between me and you, the listener. I will normally be doing these with the help of my GerleMen Podcast family, Garrett & Lesley. On this special Father’s Day edition of “Hey Gerle,” my dad and I will both be asking each other questions and answering each other’s questions. My Dad answers questions about what it was like to be a Mormon fa...
Aaron Ferrante-Alan: Healthy Sex
June 12, 2020 14:00 - 52 minutes - 36.2 MBToday I talk with Aaron Ferante-Alan. Aaron is a very close friend of mine who I deeply respect for his intellect and his bravery, but most importantly, his vulnerable honestly. He’s a man I consider family and I’m thrilled to have him on the podcast speaking about his professional specialty, sex/relationships, and how all that relates to our mental health. We talked about: Sexual Addiction vs. Compulsion [4:40] Gay Mirroring and Overcoming Shame [15:00] Open Relationships and Sexual B...
Healthy Sex with Aaron Ferrante-Alan
June 12, 2020 14:00 - 52 minutes - 72.4 MBToday I talk with Aaron Ferante-Alan. Aaron is a very close friend of mine who I deeply respect for his intellect and his bravery, but most importantly, his vulnerable honestly. He’s a man I consider family and I’m thrilled to have him on the podcast speaking about his professional specialty, sex/relationships, and how all that relates to our mental health. We talked about: Sexual Addiction vs. Compulsion [4:40] Gay Mirroring and Overcoming Shame [15:00] Open Relationships and Sexual B...
Jai Rodriguez - Queer Hollywood
June 05, 2020 14:00 - 58 minutes - 80.6 MBI was excited to talk to Jai Rodriguez because I’d seen him on Queer Eye, then I realized I’d seen him perform in one of my favorite musicals ever, “Zanna, Don’t!” So I was a bit star struck. I don’t like admitting that, but I was. Then the real magic happened when we spoke, one gay man to another. Jai is approachable and tells us how it really is for queer people in Hollywood, how COVID-19 is affecting his sex life, growing up evangelical, and being a mentor. This high energy intervie...
Social Injustice - George Floyd Mattered #BlackLivesMatter
May 31, 2020 03:00 - 11 minutes - 15.8 MBThis is my response to the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer. I’m 55 years old. I was born in 1965. Before I was 5 years old, Martin Luther King would be murdered, Drag Queens and trans women would fight off the police in front of Stonewall, and the United States would launch a rocket that would land men safely on the moon. In 1992 I listened to the same cacophony of helicopters that are in the air in Los Angeles and many other cities today, as people took to the s...
BAM: From Oppression to Celebration
May 29, 2020 14:00 - 25 minutes - 34.3 MBToday’s episode is the 2nd installment of my “Being a Man” series. This is an intimate 1on1 between me and you, the listener. I will present ideas on “living” on “being” (as in Being A Man) that I find useful in my own life. Being A Man episodes are: part older brother insight, part theoretical sandbox, and part Gay Elder pontificating. These are ideas I’ve cobbled together from just paying attention during my life, from doing my own personal work with therapists, from writing my memoir,...
Dr. Don Kilhefner: Wisdom of the Tribal Elder
May 22, 2020 14:00 - 52 minutes - 36.1 MBToday’s guest is Dr. Don Kilhefner. I wanted to interview Dr. Don Kilhefner because his name and accomplishments show up nearly every time I do work on elevating Gay Male Existence. He’s a living icon of gay activism. In his 80’s, he is still a dynamic force in the gay community. As you will hear in this episode, it’s a community he considers family. Dr. Kilhefner has a remarkable amount of energy, vision, experience, and wisdom he generously offers to his family on a daily basis .Another...
Wisdom of the Tribal Elder with Dr. Don Kilhefner
May 22, 2020 14:00 - 52 minutes - 72.1 MBToday’s guest is Dr. Don Kilhefner. I wanted to interview Dr. Don Kilhefner because his name and accomplishments show up nearly every time I do work on elevating Gay Male Existence. He’s a living icon of gay activism. In his 80’s, he is still a dynamic force in the gay community. As you will hear in this episode, it’s a community he considers family. Dr. Kilhefner has a remarkable amount of energy, vision, experience, and wisdom he generously offers to his family on a daily basis .Another...
Yuval David: The Loving Adventurer
May 15, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 90.5 MBToday I talk with Yuval David. Yuval is an accomplished actor, filmmaker, content creator, and activist. But the biggest reason I wanted to have a conversation with him is because of his attitude. His motivation for doing all of these things comes from a place of love. If you have already listened to the first Being a Man, or BAM episode, you’ll remember that I’m big on understanding our core motivations, our feelings, our foundational beliefs about ourselves. Because when we do that, we ...
Q&A: Hey Gerle, why do gay men...?
May 08, 2020 15:00 - 54 minutes - 74.3 MBThis is the first in a series of Q&A episodes. Feel free to submit your questions via Facebook, Twitter or using the voice memo feature on your smartphone and emailing it to [email protected]. Enjoy the show! We talked about: Why did you start this podcast? [06:59] Is there anything that’s off the table in these Q&A? [10:45] What’s the impact of physical distancing due to COVID-19 on the LGBT community? [11:47] How are you managing the tight living quarters? [18:44] Why are gay men sti...
Intuition is Everything with Dr. Frankie Bashan
May 01, 2020 15:00 - 56 minutes - 77.2 MBToday I talk with Dr. Frankie Bashan, renowned relationship coach and dating expert. Dr. Frankie Bashan (or, just Dr. Frankie) is the founder of Little Gay Book, the most successful exclusively lesbian (and bisexual women) matchmaking agency in the United States. I wanted to interview Dr. Frankie Bashan because of her authenticity, her dignity, and her courage to serve her community. She leads by example. If I am reincarnated as a lesbian, I hope to be exactly like Dr. Frankie Bashan. ...
Intuition is Everything with Dr. Frankie Bashan
May 01, 2020 15:00 - 56 minutes - 38.6 MBToday I talk with Dr. Frankie Bashan, renowned relationship coach and dating expert. Dr. Frankie Bashan (or, just Dr. Frankie) is the founder of Little Gay Book, the most successful exclusively lesbian (and bisexual women) matchmaking agency in the United States. I wanted to interview Dr. Frankie Bashan because of her authenticity, her dignity, and her courage to serve her community. She leads by example. If I am reincarnated as a lesbian, I hope to be exactly like Dr. Frankie Bashan. ...
Dr. Frankie Bashan - Intuition is Everything
May 01, 2020 15:00 - 56 minutes - 38.6 MBToday I talk with Dr. Frankie Bashan, renowned relationship coach and dating expert. Dr. Frankie Bashan (or, just Dr. Frankie) is the founder of Little Gay Book, the most successful exclusively lesbian (and bisexual women) matchmaking agency in the United States. I wanted to interview Dr. Frankie Bashan because of her authenticity, her dignity, and her courage to serve her community. She leads by example. If I am reincarnated as a lesbian, I hope to be exactly like Dr. Frankie Bashan. ...
Dr. Frankie Bashan: Intuition is Everything
May 01, 2020 15:00 - 56 minutes - 38.6 MBToday I talk with Dr. Frankie Bashan, renowned relationship coach and dating expert. Dr. Frankie Bashan (or, just Dr. Frankie) is the founder of Little Gay Book, the most successful exclusively lesbian (and bisexual women) matchmaking agency in the United States. I wanted to interview Dr. Frankie Bashan because of her authenticity, her dignity, and her courage to serve her community. She leads by example. If I am reincarnated as a lesbian, I hope to be exactly like Dr. Frankie Bashan. ...
JD Wolfe: Mentors and My Hero’s Journey
April 24, 2020 16:00 - 1 hour - 44.2 MBToday, I’m speaking to JD Wolfe. I wanted to interview JD because I saw his gifts in action in brotherhood at the ManKind Project (MKP). It’s a pleasure to have JD Wolfe joining us on today’s podcast to discuss (among other things) re-framing our gay personal history as a hero's journey, healthy emotional advice for this quarantine season, and navigating healthy, sustaining relationships. He has the ability to connect with men and support them in their own work to become better individuals...
My Hero’s Journey & Mentors with JD Wolfe
April 24, 2020 16:00 - 1 hour - 88.3 MBToday, I’m speaking to JD Wolfe. I wanted to interview JD because I saw his gifts in action in brotherhood at the ManKind Project (MKP). It’s a pleasure to have JD Wolfe joining us on today’s podcast to discuss (among other things) re-framing our gay personal history as a hero's journey, healthy emotional advice for this quarantine season, and navigating healthy, sustaining relationships. He has the ability to connect with men and support them in their own work to become better individuals...
BAM: The Courage to Feel
April 17, 2020 16:00 - 31 minutes - 43.1 MBWelcome to the "Being A Man" series! These are not “BE a man” directives. Instead, I present ideas on “living” and “being” I find useful in my own life. I’m not telling you what to do to prove you’re a man. I’m sharing insight on “being,” the inward reflections of a conscious man who knows what he wants and how to get it. Your authenticity is the tool and a heart-centered connection with yourself, with other gay men, and with your own chosen communities is the goal. Use the parts that ...
WeHo Mayor John D’Amico, COVID-19 & AIDS
April 10, 2020 18:00 - 47 minutes - 65.9 MBToday we talk with the Mayor of West Hollywood, John D’Amico. He’s a civic leader who recently contracted COVID-19 and is here to tell us his story. I first met Mayor D’Amico when I was working in the City Manager’s Office at West Hollywood City Hall. Later, John believed in my vision of creating “TRIBE - Gay Men’s Discussion Group” that was made possible by the City Council and I facilitated for over 5 years. For more than 20 years, Mayor John D’Amico has participated in city leadership a...
The Queer Hero's Journey with Sister Unity
April 03, 2020 18:00 - 56 minutes - 77 MBBlessings from Sister Unity. Sister Unity and I met more than 25 years ago at a photo shoot where the boys were naked and the sisters were in full, clownlike “face”: bright-colored heretical nun gear. We were shooting for a “cooking calendar” fundraiser. I stood on set naked while Sister Unity drew the Ohm symbol on my right butt cheek in cake frosting. It was a wonderful beginning. Later I noticed this incredible being, along with the other Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence providing ri...
Connection, Death, Sex and Opportunity
March 27, 2020 21:00 - 13 minutes - 18.1 MBAs a culture, we are facing a sexual moratorium that, for gay men, is simultaneously familiar and completely new. I discuss the impact on gay men’s connecting culture, hooking up, missing the gym, AIDS vs. Coronavirus, and the opportunities this social isolation presents. The GerleMen team was planning to launch this podcast in June of 2020 on Father’s Day, but right now, it’s impossible to have a conversation about brotherhood, conscious sex, and heart-centered connection without also dis...
Growing up “girly”.
March 21, 2020 00:00 - 2 minutes - 3.95 MBI grew up in the late 70s and early 80s as a kid in the state of Nebraska, Wyoming and Idaho with a last name pronounced girly. Yeah, you heard that right, girly. That name was challenging. It was a daily experience and being seen for who I was a gay boy. And then lying to everyone, telling them that the girly nature inside of me was just a joke. Fostering heart-centered connections between gay men is what this podcast is about. It's a place for gay men, and anyone self-identified as “th...