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The birds are singing, the bees are fornicating and Mark is back in the studio! That's right, all three Footballland executives are in the room to bring you 3 [THREE] new attractions. 


Ole's At The Wheel Viking Pleasure Boats 

Man United might have discarded Ole Gunnar Solskjaer like a lukewarm flannel on a long-haul flight but his legacy lives on at Footballland in the Ole's At The Wheel Viking Pleasure Boat Rides! In a family-friendly experience, your longship pedalo will be piloted by a bling-drunk Norwegian who has no idea what he's doing! 


The Golden Boot

Mark, who hates Harry Potter, tells us for 10 minutes why he hates Harry Potter, while at the same time trying to introduce a Harry Potter themed ride to Footballland. By the end of it, Ryan and Anthony aren't convinced he hates Harry Potter at all...


The Ji-Sung Park & Ride 

Footballland has many car parks, thanks to the generosity of our wonderful patreons. Seriously, we appreciate your sponsoring of this tedious yet necessary piece of theme park infrastructure. However, Ryan feels there's room for another car park, themed around ex Man United and South Korea international Ji Sung Park. But why is Aled Jones hanging around? And will Pepe try and defecate on the cars again?

As ever, please send us your ride ideas! We'll discuss each and every one.

With love,


Anthony, Mark and Ryan 



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