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Terry Venables, in a giant velcro fat suit, attached to a mile high crane, swinging through the park at midday every day singing 'We're All Going England Crazy' and taking anyone in his path with him. You in or what?


Because that's the sort of billion dollar theme park we are. A park not afraid to pay El Tel's exorbitant wages while informing everyone that the afternoon has begun. And if you don't like that idea, then we have others. Namely, Emmanuel Frimpong's Ping Pong Ding Dong, a table tennis/cage fight where there's a very real chance of death. Please, for god's sake tap out. And Shrug It Off, the world's first rollercoaster themed around outmuscling your opponent at set pieces. 

Yes folks, that's three new rides at the world's first and only football themed theme park. How many rides have we designed? Hundreds. How many rides does a theme park need? God knows. Will we stop designing rides to build the actual park? NEVER. 


We hope you enjoy the latest meeting/episode. We're sorry that Mark keeps introducing it as an improvised comedy podcast - it's embarrassing and false. This is a real theme park, with a real billion dollars, and itll be ready for you to go on in November, we absolutely promise. 

And if you have any ideas for theme park rides at Footballland, please let us know. We'll discuss your proposal on the show with a 99.99999% chance of it being voted in. 


So much love,


Anthony (CEO)

Mark (Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer) 

Ryan (intern)

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