S02 E14 | Elf-Inge The City, A Football VR Simulator & Get Your Kit On

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Merry Christmas! 

While you've been working hard, a glass of merlot in one hand, a block of brie in the other, we at Footballland have been preparing for the opening of Footballland in just 336 days time. And we were delighted to have the CEO of Hashtag United Spencer Owen in the Wayne Lineker testicle. Spencer created a football team from scratch so he's no stranger to impossible dreams. And he loves theme parks, apart from that time he won a night in the Alton Towers Chocolate room and they'd run out of chocolate. 

So here are the 3 (three) new rides we've designed this week! 

Elf-Inge The City 

Ryan reads out a lovely Christmas story featuring Roy Keane and a young Norwegian lad who looks a bit like a deflated sex doll. And THAT story forms the basis of Footballland's brand new ice show at the Squeaky Bum Time Arena! Are your seats too far from the pitch? Then simply watch it in miniature on Harry Maguire's forehead! 

Get Your Kit On 

Mark is so angry with substitutes who aren't ready to come onto the field because they've not put on their shirt, that he's created a new experience in which naked members of the public are placed on a vibrating platform and given one minute to put their clothes on before being beamed live on TV across the world. 

Spencer Owen's Futuroscope 

NOT to be confused with the theme park in France with the same name, Spencer Owen proposes a VR football simulator where guests run about on a 360 degree treadmill like in Ready Player One. Will we finally get Lionel Messi playing a wet tuesday night in Stoke?

And as ever, send us your ride ideas! We feature all of 'em! 

Love you so much,

Anthony, Mark and Ryan 

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