After another extremely important meeting at Footballland HQ we're pleased to unveil THREE new rides. And one of those has come from our patron Phil Lee. Remember, you can send us any of your half-baked ride ideas and we're contractually obliged to discuss them! Sign up to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland


So here are the rides in this week's lineup:


Mané Hands Make A Light Work 

Liverpool and Senegal forward Sadio Mané is desperate to record his autobiography in our special recording studio, and he REALLY needs those 300,000 words read into the mic by Christmas. But alas, there's no light! Can you and 9 friends help him? 10 punters must form a human chain from socket to lightbulb to illuminate the room, AND Sadio Mané's dreams.

A gentle reminder - please do not try this ride at home. We don't want anyone electrocuted, even if it's to help out a footballer. 


Phil Lee's Human Table Foosball

Patron Phil Lee wrote in to pitch his vision of a giant table foosball using ex professional footballers. Pick your XI from a giant vending machine then watch as they're skewered by metal rods (missing those vital organs, of course!). 


Tim Cahill: Beyond The Corner Flag 

Currently our Oceania section of Footballland is pretty miserable. So far it's just a statue of Ryan Nelsen with his bum hanging off. So what better way to spruce things up with a Mad Max-style fight to the death with every single thing that Australia loves? The Socceroos want to turn their back on their continent and play in Asia, but OceaniaTown won't let them go without a fight. 


As ever, send us your ride ideas. We'll discuss every single one. 


Footballland Explained:


Having accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. Anthony Richardson, Mark Davison and Ryan Baxter are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football themed theme park rides in the history of football themed theme parks.

 

Anthony Richardson - CEO of Footballland 

Mark Davison - Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer

Ryan Baxter - Intern


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