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Sadly this is our final episode of the season! We're taking a break for the Euros and will return for an even bigger and better Footballland in July! 

You'll agree that the park is taking fantastic shape, and we're pleased to bring you THREE new rides:


Super Ney-Mario 

A live action video game featuring PSG and Brazil superstar Neymar - It's-a Super Neymario! Watch out for the toadstools shaped like James Milner! Park guests will climb inside a fibreglass Neymar and dive through a series of levels which seem to get easier as the game progresses. 


The DaMarcus Beasley Piss Take Take A Break 

Going to the toilet has never been so fun, or potentially so dangerous! Guests at Footballland's special DaMarcus Beasley urinials will be faced with a series of mini-games, all involving their own urine. Fun for all the family (optional she-wees provided free of charge). 


Roy and Ray's Trip To In-Seinity! 

Patreon Nick Dunmore gives us a psychedelic boat trip in remembrance of that time Roy Hodgson and Ray Lewington decided to go on a river tour in Paris instead of preparing for England's knock out game against Iceland at Euro 2016. 

And a special thanks to our patrons this season. We've loved your submissions and long may they continue. Keep sending your ideas to us. We'll all hit the ground running in season 2 and make this the BEST damn football themed theme park the world has ever seen. 


Much love,


Anthony, Ryan and Mark


Footballland Explained:


Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.



Anthony Richardson, CEO of Footballland 

Mark Davison, Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer

Ryan Baxter, Intern.

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