"He wants to treat me better. He just doesn’t know how."


"He says he’s sorry. He really hates how he acts."


"He’s struggling. He can’t help it."


Do you have these thoughts about your husband?


Have these thoughts led to anything good? More peace? Change (on his part)? Hope that lasts? A better marriage? A never-ending bucket of fried chicken?


Didn’t think so. 


I have some other thoughts to offer. You can take them or leave them. They might seem cynical and hopeless on the surface. But I believe they’re the means to all the things you’re hoping for…except one. 


This episode comes with not one but two guarantees: 


Adults have 100% control over their behavior. And you have a 0% chance of making someone grow or change when they don’t want to. 


The episode highlight reel:

Why acknowledging wrongdoing means nothing (if the wrongdoer is abusive)Why his apologies mean squat (if the behavior continues)Why WHAT he’s doing matters and WHY he’s doing it means next to nothingWhy saying he wants to grow means bupkes (if he doesn’t)Why an abuser giving “God’s” advice has zero authorityWhy your opinion on all of this matters and everybody’s else’s means zip

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com

I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download

You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com