Listen To Black Women

Black Women are for Grown Folks

To be able to be called out, and not get defensive - takes emotional, psychological, and a particular relationship maturity.

Relationship maturity meaning you have a relationship with the individual doing the call out - this is why this call is unique because Erin and I know each other, and I'd like to think we're friends. I'd like to think if I point something out regarding racism, even though Erin is brilliant, educated, AND has a black daughter, that she knows me calling her out isn't the end of our friendship - in actuality, its an opportunity to strengthen it, which starts with listening.

Why is 'listening' so challenging?

What some white folx choose not to acknowledge is the insidious nature of racism. It is in all our systems, and has seeped into our DNA.

Now that I have your attention, I don't think this is those white folx faults BUT I do feel like it needs to be addressed.

Specifically listening to black women.

So putting my coaching hat on, let's review the four pillars of good listening:

SHUTTING THE FUCK UP. (joke)

During this call, get a piece of paper and notice how many times you want to interrupt me sharing my experience, to let me know you are different, or to tell me something you know, or, or, or. Listen to my voice with intent, and just 'notice' how many times you want to interrupt me.

During this podcast, and exercise, I'm going to ask you to:

1) Prepare yourself to listen, get comfortable, turn off distractions

2)Place your attention on our voices, listening to my tone, and the words I say

And for now, that's all I ask.

About Listening:

 Everything we talk about will have individual homework, in addition to tools to withstand difficult conversations starting by:

Stay away from DARVO, and acronym coined by writer, Rachel Cargle

DARVO = Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim/Oppression

-My callout story with Erin, is feeling 'safe' here, then being invited to a fitness event, and empowerment weekend that made me feel less and empowered, and less apart of health and fitness.

-Conversation about corporations making statements, acting as though racism  is new, and making no changes to the decision makers of their organizations

-Listening without centring, white women need to learn that they are not the drivers - they are the riders here. Much like women lead the 'me too' movement, and didn't have women's rights mansplained, and led by men.

Topic 2 - Boundaries with black bodies.

My experience in the industry with hair touching, how invasive, rude, and how flippant some white folx are when black people set boundaries. (including narcissists in my inbox and DMs)

Topic 3 - Actions

-Start with the individual listening - what does their life board of directors look like? Like if I go to your page, do I see your anti-racism plan in a sea of white images? Your 'no black friend' which leads you to believe that one black person you follow on SM is your friend?

-Put more pressure on your community businesses to see more BIPOC in positions of power, and decision making (see Alexis Ohanian and Reddit.com)

-Globally regular donations, support small black owned businesses etc.

Last topic - PROMOTION FOR BPP party listeners please donate to keep safe spaces like ILT and The 519 alive through these challenging times. ILT has received no relief, so we're raising money for tech equipment specifically to improve online class quality, additional cleaning, and re-coop loss of business over the last 14 weeks.

Kick off your virtual Toronto Pride weekend with ILT's BodyPosiParty (B.P.P.) FUNdraiser! This is a family friendly event, where participants are encouraged to dress to express their 'body self-love' and PRIDE!

This event will be hosted by Steph Iron Lioness, with dance instruction from the talented Aziza Miller, and everyone's favourite neighbourhood heaux, Lucy Flawless.

Proceeds of this event will help support ILT in their efforts to 'pandemic proof' our studio, and will be split with The 519 - an organizations committed to the health, happiness and full participation of the LGBTQ2S communities. They are a City of Toronto agency with an innovative model of Service, Space and Leadership, that strive to make a real difference in people’s lives, while working to promote inclusion, understanding and respect.

Want to donate, but can't attend class? Visit our online store, and purchase a Gift Card in any amount! Share the gift of careful, and compassionate movement with your community!