Fierce Marriage
365 episodes - English - Latest episode: 22 days ago - ★★★★★ - 4K ratingsHosts Ryan and Selena Frederick discuss modern marriage issues with transparency, humor, and gospel-centeredness. Join in for honest conversations, light-hearted hilarity, and more than enough grace to go around.
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Episodes
Boundaries and Sex
April 20, 2021 10:30 - 53 minutes - 30.4 MBBoundaries are an inherent part of every married couple's sex life. The question is, are your sexual boundaries clear? Are they communicated? And are they actively enforced? In today's episode we'll walk through two critical passages of Scripture that teach us about boundaries and discuss examples of how they can be applied in marital life. Enjoy! Announcement! Our new marriage learning project ~~Gospel Centered Marriage~~ is open for enrollment! It's a great way to build a solid marriage ...
Boundaries and Your Children
April 13, 2021 17:12 - 1 hour - 34.6 MBChildren are awesome, but having kids at home (particularly young ones) can have some not-so-awesome effects on a marriage. Today is the second in our series on Boundaries, and we discuss how and what boundaries are necessary between you and your kids for the good of your union. It was a lively discussion and we hope it blesses you! HEY! Our new marriage learning project ~~Gospel Centered Marriage~~ is now open for enrollment! It's a great way to build a solid marriage foundation and final...
All About Boundaries
April 06, 2021 10:30 - 50 minutes - 28.7 MBBoundaries are biblical. Boundaries are also intuitive: we all know we need them. Still, why do we feel that our boundaries in and around our marriage are constantly in flux or non-existent? In this episode we looked at three main reasons why we lack clear boundaries in marriage, and talked through some of the underlying principles that help us live with stronger boundaries in marriage. We hope it blesses you! Our new marriage learning project ~~Gospel Centered Marriage~~ is now open for en...
Identifying *and* Explaining How You Actually Feel
March 30, 2021 10:30 - 51 minutes - 29.7 MBTalking is a skill, and not everyone has it. In fact, most don't! This is usually a result of being obscured—or unseeable—to ourselves. A skilled communicator knows how to identify and explain how they feel, and that usually starts with knowing how to examine your own heart and mind. In this episode we talked through the biblical foundation for knowing yourself for the purpose of glorifying God and being more completely known by your spouse in marriage. Then, we talk through some very tangib...
The Art of Active Listening
March 23, 2021 10:30 - 50 minutes - 29 MBMost people rarely experience being *deeply* listened to; you can give your spouse that gift! Last week we talked about Selective Hearing, which is all about catching every drop of what your spouse communicates. This episode puts that conversation on steroids: learning how to seek out and gain insight into each other and internalize it in healthier ways. If you ACTIVELY listen to this episode, you'll hear us share three distinct incentives for learning and applying this valuable skill in you...
Dealing with Selective Hearing
March 16, 2021 10:30 - 51 minutes - 29.5 MBThere are three types of selective hearing, all of which have the same result: poor communication. Today we talked through the common ways couples fall into selective hearing habits and cover tangible ways to break the habits in their relationship. We hope this episode helps you! Our new marriage learning project ~~Gospel Centered Marriage~~ is now open for enrollment! It's a great way to build a solid marriage foundation and finally get on the same page. It's built for all couples—newlywe...
How to Talk About Sex
March 09, 2021 11:30 - 1 hour - 34.9 MBEvery healthy married couple should not only prioritize sex but also communicating on the topic of sex. None would likely disagree (at least, not in most modern contexts), because what can a couple lose by talking about their sex life together? This a peculiar topic because it’s one area where we’ll heartily agree with the culture’s message: it’s right, good, and healthy to talk about sex in marriage! Where we do differ, however, has to do with why and how we believe couples should discuss t...
Talking About Talking
March 02, 2021 11:30 - 54 minutes - 31.2 MBHealthy communication is like breathing: you take it for granted until you can't do it. This week we're starting a series on communication by laying some groundwork and dissecting the Bible's most common verse about communication (hint, it's not actually about communication). Finally, we cover 5 basic habits every couple needs to talk and listen with greater skill and intentionality. We hope it blesses you! Our brand new marriage learning project, Gospel Centered Marriage is now LIVE. It's ...
Be Romantic or... Repent??
February 23, 2021 11:30 - 57 minutes - 33 MBWhat if someone told you that you needed to repent for a lack of romance in your marriage? You'd probably respond like us: bewildered, defensive, and with nervous laughter. In today's podcast episode we'll dig beneath the surface understanding of romance and talk about how how it's connected—in more ways than one—to the states of our hearts. It was a fun, challenging talk but our pain is your gain. Enjoy! Our brand new marriage learning project, Gospel Centered Marriage is now LIVE. It's a ...
Out of the Dust (Chris and Stephanie Teague) (Replay)
February 16, 2021 11:30 - 1 hour - 56.8 MBChris and Stephanie lived the ideal romantic story. They were highschool sweethearts, they loved each other, and they shared a love and devotion for God. Everything changed when Chris lost his faith, left Stephanie, and filed for divorce. They thought they had reached the end of their story, but God had other plans. To learn more about Chris and Stephanie and Out of the Dust, visit outofthedustmusic.com. If their story has encouraged or helped you, you can support them by buying their album...
5 Hurtful Phrases to Delete From Your Marriage Vocabulary
February 09, 2021 11:30 - 58 minutes - 33.7 MBIt’s impossible to define everything everyone should or shouldn’t say in every situation. However, there are some phrases that are usually unhelpful for marriage. Join us as we explore each one! Our brand new marriage learning project, Gospel Centered Marriage is now LIVE. It's a great way to get a solid marriage foundation and finally get on the same page. Visit GospelCenteredMarriage.com to learn more. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com...
The 5 Biggest Obstacles to Transparency During Lockdown
February 02, 2021 11:30 - 1 hour - 42.6 MBWe're finding that even though couples are spending more time together than ever, they're still drifting apart. Physical closeness doesn't automatically beget emotional intimacy. In this special episode, we discussed the 5 most common reasons husbands and wives fail to be fully known by each other. This recording is from a special online event hosted by Impactus Ministries (Promise Keepers Canada). Visit Impactus.org to learn more. Our brand new marriage learning project, Gospel Centered Ma...
All About Attachment Styles
January 26, 2021 11:30 - 52 minutes - 47.6 MBAttachment styles are all about the way you interact the way you do, particularly around need, affection, and conflict. In this episode we talked through the four common attachment styles for relationships and, as usual, looked at Scripture to see how the gospel informs this area of marriage. We hope it blesses you! Our brand new marriage learning project, Gospel Centered Marriage is now LIVE. It's a great way to get a solid marriage foundation and finally get on the same page. Visit https:...
What, exactly, is a gospel centered marriage?
January 19, 2021 11:15 - 57 minutes - 33 MBIf we're not careful, the word "gospel" can become cliche and ineffectual in our hearts, but as the people of God, we must never move beyond the miracle and outworkings of it! In this week's episode, we took a deep dive into what it means to be a truly gospel centered couple. And, as usual, we had some fun along the way! We hope the content we covered blesses and convicts you as it did us. As we mentioned, our brand new marriage learning project, Gospel Centered Marriage is now LIVE. It's a...
The Wonder of Contentment
January 12, 2021 11:15 - 43 minutes - 40.2 MBLike a virus, discontentment infects and sickens every healthy aspect life and marriage. It infects our affections, our views of each other, and our very trust in God. Author Nancy Wilson wrote, "Contentment is the result of spiritual strength that comes directly from Christ. Contentment is the ability to stay satisfied with God’s will in all circumstances, whether easy or difficult. Though it is simple to understand, it is certainly not easy to do." In this week's episode, we looked at the...
Rhythms > Resolutions
January 05, 2021 21:43 - 48 minutes - 44.4 MBRhythms are on of God's graces in this life. Days, seasons, years—all have reliable, consistent, and predictable rhythms. How can we reflect God's faithfulness through our own? And how could our mundane rhythms be more powerful and productive than grand resolutions? In today's episode we discussed our misgivings and excitements around goal setting, and offered some biblical thoughts that (you guessed it) are contrary to those of our culture. Mentioned: Our brand new marriage learning projec...
Coming from a Divorced Home
December 29, 2020 11:30 - 54 minutes - 30.9 MBDivorce affects the majority of married couples today—some 75% of couples have one or both spouses who come from a divorced or blended family. This week we discussed a few of the unspoken but very common ways that divorce affects individuals and the marriages they occupy. Selena shared some of her personal experience and reflected on recent reading she's done on the subject. ALSO... we made a pretty fun announcement! You'll have to listen to find out... :) Thanks for listening! If you'd li...
Lead Me (Matt Hammitt of Sanctus Real)
December 16, 2020 02:58 - 35 minutes - 20.4 MBMatt Hammitt had performed his hit song, “Lead Me,” almost a thousand times. And every time he sang, the lyrics echoed the voices of his own family. His marriage was strained. His kids were growing up without him. Matt’s good intentions could no longer sustain his family; he needed to be a man of action. Yet even as he told his Sanctus Real bandmates that he was leaving the band to invest in his family, he wondered: Was it really possible to be present at home and still provide financially t...
Are opposite-sex friendships appropriate?
December 08, 2020 18:29 - 46 minutes - 43 MBMany find themselves in one of two camps on this topic: "avoid opposite-sex friends like the plague" or "don't be a prude". We think there's a third way—one that's biblical and wise. In this episode, Ryan and Selena will discuss this controversial topic while sharing their own experiences and biblical understanding of how we “can have the wisdom to know and enjoy the blessing of friendship in a way that honors both our marriage and our brothers and sisters in Christ—while ultimately bringing...
5 Resources to Help Your Marriage (and a Frederick Family Update)
December 01, 2020 11:30 - 17 minutes - 16.4 MBNot going to lie, we've been going through it. So this week, we've opted to give our amazing listeners a Frederick family update and point you to some tangible resources to help your marriage. We hope it all makes sense, and we thank you for your patience, prayers, and support. Stay fierce! Here are the links to the episodes we mentioned: An Ethic of Protecting Your Family, Marriage, and Home (The Lovells): https://smarturl.it/fmpod-lovells Out of the Dust (The Teagues): https://smarturl....
Sex as a weapon?
November 24, 2020 11:30 - 46 minutes - 26.7 MBOne of the first pieces of advice we as newlyweds was to never use sex as a weapon. What we've come to realize, however, is that sometimes it should be... just not how you might think. Listen in as we discuss Paul's words on the topic. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. Our monthly patrons get plenty of perks, including early episode releases, free books & ebooks, silicone wedding rings, and exclusive ministry updates.
The Warfare of Prayer
November 17, 2020 11:15 - 49 minutes - 28.2 MBEveryone knows marriage has incredible highs and very frustrating (and difficult) lows. In today's episode, we shared how we've been in a prolonged "funk" lately but have found a path forward through prayer. Listen in as we discuss the miracle of prayer for believers and practical ways you can make praying a part of your ongoing battle strategy in your fight for a God-honoring, flourishing marriage. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/Fierc...
5 Things To Say To Your Spouse Daily
November 10, 2020 11:15 - 50 minutes - 28.9 MBLet's get practical. In this episode we discussed five phrases you can say to each other every day that will ensure the "structural trends" in your marriage are for the better. While each of these phrases will sound common, as we discovered, each one represents a profound underlying belief you hold (or don't hold) about God, yourselves, and your marriage. We hope this episode blesses you! Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. ...
Striving to Enter Rest
November 03, 2020 11:15 - 51 minutes - 29.4 MBStriving to enter rest sounds counterintuitive. Funny enough, that language comes directly from Scripture (Hebrews 4). In today's episode, we discussed the biblical idea of Sabbath and what it means for Christian homes today—and how you, as a married couple, can "strive to enter rest" the way the bible commands. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. Our monthly patrons get plenty of perks, including early releases, free books,...
Emotional Lust and Escapism
October 27, 2020 10:15 - 54 minutes - 31.1 MBYou've probably heard pastors warn against physical lust a time or two. But have you considered "emotional lust"? What about emotional lust (and physical lust for that matter) as an unhealthy avenue for escapism? In this week's podcast episode, we discussed emotional lust at length while also examining what we're calling the "Pretend Cycle", or the cycles of escapism. We enjoyed this conversation and trust that you will find something helpful as you listen. Enjoy and be blessed! Thanks for ...
The One Habit You Absolutely Need
October 20, 2020 10:30 - 55 minutes - 32 MBThere is nothing in this life that will transform your heart (and marriage) like thoroughly reading and obeying God's Word (the Bible). In today's episode we discussed our recent journey into a new type of "bulk" scripture reading and shared ways it's already transformed our hearts. Of course, we don't have it all figured out, but we hope that by sharing our journey you might be spurred along in your own habits of Bible reading. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, ...
Marriage is Warfare
October 13, 2020 10:15 - 54 minutes - 31.5 MBWhat if we told you that marriage matters more than we realized? What if we told you that whenever you fight for your marriage, you're engaging in cosmic warfare. In this episode, we looked at the magnitude of marriage and looked at three specific battlefronts where we wage the warfare of marriage. We hope this episode blesses and emboldens you! Thanks for listening to the Fierce Marriage Podcast! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. Our monthly p...
From Breakdown to Breakthrough (Counseling, 4 of 4)
October 06, 2020 10:30 - 49 minutes - 28.3 MBThere are times in every marriage where you reach a full stop in your communication. Things ice over and you can't find a way forward. Before too long, your marriage drops to sub-zero temperatures and you're fighting for your survival. In this week's episode, we talked about the nature of communication (what it accomplishes and how) and discussed tangible ways to fight through arctic tundras of verbal/emotional frozenness. This four part series has been created in partnership with Faithful ...
Codependency (Counseling, 3 of 4)
September 29, 2020 10:15 - 51 minutes - 29.7 MBAre you in a codependent relationship? How would you know if you were? In today's episode, we asked questions to help couples identify signs of codependency in their marriage. We then looked at the forms and functions of codependent relationships before contrasting them with the healthier alternative: biblical interdependence. We learned a ton and we trust you will too! This four part series has been created in partnership with Faithful Counseling. Visit https://faithfulcounseling.com/FMP t...
Addressing Anxiety & Stress (Counseling, 2 of 4)
September 22, 2020 04:00 - 52 minutes - 30.2 MBAnxiety is one of the most pervasive and persistent issues in mental health within the church. How does the Bible speak to anxiety? What hope can we have when dealing with an anxiety disorder? Also, how can God use biblical counseling to help couples work through issues of anxiety, stress and worry? In this episode we discuss our own experiences and seek to shed light on how we, as Christians, can navigate anxiety with the help from the Holy Spirit, our spouses, and good counsel. This four ...
Do all couples need therapy? (Counseling, 1 of 4)
September 15, 2020 10:45 - 47 minutes - 27.2 MBThe idea of counseling conjures all manner of reaction. Some couples spurn it, others welcome it. Why? And, can all couples benefit from counseling? In this episode, Ryan and Selena talk about whether or not counseling aligns with God's Word, and if so, how it might help couples, whether they're going through a difficult time or not. We hope this episode blesses you! This four part series has been created in partnership with Faithful Counseling. Visit https://faithfulcounseling.com/FMP to r...
How often should we be having sex?
September 08, 2020 10:30 - 57 minutes - 32.9 MBIf you've ever felt discontent with your sex life, you're not alone. in this episode, we answered the oft-asked question, How often should we be having sex? As you'd imagine, we looked at various passages of Scripture and contrasted the biblical view with that of the world. We then ended with three very practical questions for you to ask yourself and your spouse about your sex life together. Enjoy! Thanks for listening to the Fierce Marriage Podcast! If you'd like to support this ministry, ...
When is the right time to have kids?
September 01, 2020 10:30 - 56 minutes - 32.1 MBShould we be the final word on when to have kids? Or should every married couple have as many kids as possible because children are a blessing? Or... maybe these are the wrong questions to be asking in the first place? In this episode, we make an exciting announcement and, coincidentally, it has a ton to do with how we ask/answer the question "when is the right time to have kids?" We trust you'll find our conversation challenging and we hope you find it helpful as well. Thanks for listening...
Worldviews and Marital Unity
August 25, 2020 10:30 - 59 minutes - 33.9 MBYour deepest held beliefs, while they affect every aspect of life (including marriage), aren't always biblical. This can make it incredibly hard to discuss sensitive topics or work through deep disagreements in marriage. As we've discussed often, your beliefs always inform your behaviors. In this week's episode we talked about what a worldview is while contrasting biblical Christianity against 5 non-Christian worldviews. You may be surprised how often non-Christian worldviews influence your ...
The Secret (and Super Obvious) Ingredient
August 18, 2020 10:30 - 52 minutes - 30.2 MBThis week we recapped a few recent arguments we had to help illustrate how this one ingredient changes everything. While our fights had to do with dinners and sex, they each actually had nothing to do with either. You'll have to listen to the episode to discover what that means! Spoiler alert: the ingredient is super obvious, but how it's added makes all the difference. We hope it strengthens your marriage! Thanks for listening to the Fierce Marriage Podcast! If you'd like to support this m...
Narcissism and Marriage
August 11, 2020 10:30 - 51 minutes - 29.4 MBWords like vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-regard, and egotism all have one thing in common: the self is viewed as the crux of importance. They also describe narcissistic personality disorder. Everyone is selfish to a degree, but narcissists are self-focused at an extreme level. In today's episode we discussed narcissism as a personality disorder, explored ways narcissists hurt their spouse, and revealed why, at its root, narcissism is a re...
Infertility and Childlessness (Sheridan Voysey)
August 06, 2020 17:03 - 48 minutes - 28 MBSheridan Voysey and his wife, Merryn were devastated when they realized their dream of having children would never become a reality. After infertility, an international move, and a professional change shook the Voysey's world, Sheridan realised that he couldn’t reconcile his expectations with the life he was living. In today's episode, Sheridan shares their story of heartbreak, despair, healing, purpose, and finally, joy. It was an immensely helpful episode for us, and we hope you can say th...
Decision Drivers in Marriage
August 04, 2020 10:30 - 58 minutes - 33.5 MBDecisions, decisions! The average couple makes hundreds of small decisions and many significant ones on a daily basis. The question is, where do our choices come from? As we discussed in this episode, every decision is rooted in some core value, and our core values have to do with our views of wisdom and folly as well as our ability to act on our views. This conversation got a bit heady, but we still had fun with it. We hope it blesses you in some way. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to...
Serving is Pursuing
July 28, 2020 10:30 - 47 minutes - 27.3 MBServing is not likely to make it to the top of most people's "things that are sexy about marriage" list. Still, serving one another is one of the most profound (if not THE most profound) ways to love each other in marriage. In today's episode, we discussed three ways Jesus showed us to serve one another when he washed his disciples' feet. We also shared some of what's been going on personally as it's been a particularly emotional season in the Frederick household. In this episode we worked ...
Surviving Infidelity (Tina Konkin)
July 23, 2020 10:30 - 41 minutes - 23.9 MBInfidelity causes catastrophic damage to a marriage. Can it be survived? In today's special interview with author and speaker Tina Konkin, we discuss just that. Tina shares with great detail how God used her husband's affair, despite the damaging effects, to transform her heart and her marriage for the better. Listen in, we hope it blesses you. Read Tina's book, "How God Used the Other Woman" or check out TinaKonkin.com to learn more. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this min...
Rebuilding Trust After a Betrayal
July 21, 2020 10:30 - 1 hour - 34.7 MBBeing betrayed by the one you love is one of the worst feelings imaginable. How can a couple find reconciliation and healing after trust is shattered. It's not easy and it requires both spouses to work hard, but there is hope. In today's episode we discussed stories in betrayal in the Bible—namely how we've betrayed God in sin—and what they can show us about finding reconciliation in the wake of betrayed trust. This episode is a bit longer, but the topic is heavy. We hope it helps you. Than...
Manipulation in Marriage
July 14, 2020 10:15 - 59 minutes - 33.9 MBAs we discovered, there is a vast array of manipulation methods at play in human relationships. The question is, which ones are you unwittingly using against each other in your marriage? Rationalization, minimization, lying (by omission and commission), shaming, vilifying, seduction, and many other methods might be at work in ways you're unaware. In this episode, we explored what the Bible says about manipulation (as it turns out, it says a lot), and discussed ways out of manipulative habits...
Know Your Soil
July 07, 2020 10:30 - 55 minutes - 31.5 MBToday we discussed gardening (of all things) and how "knowing our soil" in marriage is critical to loving each other in the fullest context of covenantal love. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. Our monthly patrons get plenty of perks, including free books, ebooks, silicone rings, and exclusive ministry updates. Patron levels start at just $2/month.
Sexual Intimacy (Sharon Jaynes)
July 02, 2020 10:30 - 43 minutes - 39.6 MBHave you ever felt that the person you thought was your best friend and your spouse has turned into more of a roommate? If so, then this conversation will help you. Sharon Jaynes is the author of many books, but in this interview we're discussing Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy". We hope this conversation helps you see your marriage from a fresh perspective and perhaps, it will help you reignite the passion that was there in the beginning. Tha...
Laugh More!
June 30, 2020 10:30 - 51 minutes - 29.2 MBLaughing is one of the best ways to break your marriage out of a funk. Could it be that laughter is a gift and a grace of God designed specifically to lift our hearts and clear the air in our relationships? In this week's episode we answered three questions about laughter and talked through various examples in Scripture where laughter, playfulness, and childlike faith. We hope this podcast helps you and blesses your marriage. If you'd like to help keep this content coming, please visit Patr...
Expectations are Everything
June 23, 2020 10:30 - 55 minutes - 31.7 MBExpectations are constantly at work in every marriage. The question is whether or not we're aware of them and in agreement on what they should be. In this episode we posed dozens of questions for listener consideration about expectations in sex, money, communication, in-laws, hobbies, divisions of chores/labor, church, and more. While this episode will be particularly helpful for our nearly- and newlywed listeners, couples of all stages of marriage are sure to learn something about themselv...
A Truer, Better, More Exciting Normal (Matt and Lisa Jacobson)
June 18, 2020 16:49 - 49 minutes - 28.6 MBThe Jacobsons are a gift and a blessing. In this episode we talked about how God's view for marriage and family is so much better than our own or the world's. We specifically covered when to have kids (they had 8, and late!), the adventure of marriage God's way, porn & purity, how to prioritize your marriage over kids, and so much more. This interview is one of our favorites, and we're confident you will be blessed by the Jacobsons! Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this minist...
Are Your Hearts Hard or Soft?
June 16, 2020 10:30 - 51 minutes - 29.6 MBSoft hearts are necessary for a healthy, thriving, happy marriage. But our tendency is not to remain soft toward each other. Bad days happen, tiredness, sin, crisis, arguments, and more can contribute to each of the three indicators of whether or not your hearts are soft toward one another. We also discussed four efforts you can employ today to help soften your hearts if you feel them hardening. We hope it blesses you! Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please vis...
Having Political Disagreements as a Couple
June 09, 2020 18:21 - 56 minutes - 32.1 MBWith everything going on in society, we thought it would be timely to discuss ways to have productive political conversations as a couple. While we didn't cover the hot-topics themselves, hopefully this episode will help you and your spouse "come to the table" and hash out tough political disagreements. We discussed the four big presuppositions to every conversation, the cultural lies they dispel, and how to apply them when talking about (and disagreeing on) hard things. We hope this episode...
Bringing Husbands Back to Life (Jerrad Lopes of Dad Tired)
June 04, 2020 10:30 - 37 minutes - 21.5 MBIn today's episode we talked with Jerrad Lopes, author of Dad Tired: Stumbling Your Way to Spiritual Leadership. Jerrad shared how his wife's prayers softened his heart when he thought they were on the brink of divorce, and we also talked about what helps bring men back to life in fatherhood and marriage. Thanks for listening! If you'd like to support this ministry, please visit Patreon.com/FierceMarriage. Our monthly patrons get plenty of perks, including free books, ebooks, silicone rings...