Ep 71: Support for Donor-Assisted Families with Nancy Kaufman

Many parents who pursue donor-assisted reproduction often feel alone in their journey, but the truth is they usually share the same fears. Today we welcome back Nancy Kaufman, a licensed clinical social worker, and psychoanalyst who has been practicing in New York City for over 30 years. Nancy works with individuals, couples, and groups dealing with infertility and parenting after infertility. For the past 15 years, she has led The Third Party Parenting Network, a support group for those pursuing donor-assisted reproduction with an emphasis on issues related to disclosure. Today we discuss the value of walking through this process with a support group. Nancy sheds light on some of the common fears held by members of her support group, such as fears surrounding the rejection of a parent by a child who was conceived with the help of a donor, fears that a child is going to be genetically related to a lot of other children, and the tension that may arise between parents when one shares DNA with the child and the other does not. We discuss the importance of asking the question “Do I really want to be a parent?” and talk about how being a parent and having a genetically related child are not the same thing. To hear why you should disclose the truth about using a donor to your child from a young age, tips on how to navigate your child’s questions about the donor, and information about where you can find support for the challenges you face in your family journey, tune in today!