Dealing With Loss of Freedom: Quarantine Stages of Grief Before Reaching Acceptance 

During quarantine we grieve our loss of freedom. tI realized I went through the stages of grief these last few months and I've finally reached acceptance. Today's quick tip is to think about something positive that would otherwise not have happened if you weren't quarantined. Finding the silver lining can help get to acceptance and help you grow during this difficult time.


TRANSCRIPT
These last few days seem to have been better. Not necessarily easier, but there seems to be a kind of acceptance of the new normal. I’ve gotten used to my husband being around all day, the kids aren’t asking to go to the park as much, and we’ve found a tolerable groove between the housework, childcare and work work. Getting to this acceptance was not easy and I realized that since the COVID-19 quarantine started I went through all the stages common to those of grief. The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, despair, and acceptance. 

I’m going to walk you through my experience through these stages and see if any resonate with you. 

 First, denial. Back in early March, I was laughing at the fact that the stores were out of toilet paper. I refused to buy excess hand sanitizer and was even starting to buy into some of the conspiracy theories. 

Once I realized this wasn’t a joke. I felt a lot of emotions. But a big turning point for me was when my son’s preschool announced they would be closed for the rest of the year, I was mad. The kind of anger that makes you cry because you don’t know what else to do.  This phase lasted a while and it totally spilled into my marriage and family dynamic. I really didn’t know how to cope and it lead me to the bargaining phase.

This it the phase where you still want to be in control so you try compromising and creating illusions. I kept saying this would be over by the end of April. Or I still want to go to the stores with mask on. But once all the schools in Illinois were announced closed the rest of the school year and I realized masks were becoming more of a mandate than a suggestion I got really scared. 

So then comes despair. Despair is rough because you are vulnerable. You realize you have no control. Health, income, sanity. It’s all up in the air. And this is a horrible phase to be in but it didn’t last too long for me because I just gave in. The last thing left to do:surrender. Accept that this is what it is. And make do with the reality.

The sense of loss is drowning us right now as a world. Suffering the loss of a person or if someone close to you is sick, its a horrible feeling that has no cure. If your loss is a bit more superficial, like that of your freedom or your food options its still a challenge to deal with and accept. So whatever your situation is, its ok to be grieving. And its ok to be stuck in a certain phase. 

Once you have reached acceptance, there is a choice to be made. You can accept what it is and move forward letting the tides take you where they may. Or you can grow in this situation. To do that today’s quick tip is this: find something positive that would never have been possible in your life if there was no COVID-19 quarantine. Are you getting a lot more family time? Have you gotten closer to someone? Are you able to pursue a hobby? Are you able to connect with your child in ways you never did before? Or are you trying out new recipes? Whatever it is Find at least one thing to be grateful for. 

For me its this podcast. I’ve been able to channel my creative side and share some of the things I’ve learned as a mom that I get to share while we’re in  this weird phase in history together. It feels like a little flower growing in a forgotten field but in time once everyone’s random positive experience flowers have blossomed, our world will look more beautiful than before.