315 - Jessica

This week’s episode sees the return of Failure to Launches most divisive star, Jessica Simpson, in a 2004 pilot built on one simple fact of life; Beautiful women will instantly turn any male into a desperate blabbering idiot and any woman into a raging ball of jealousy. We meet Holly and Joe, two snobbish, intellectually elitist journalists - who we’re supposed to love I think? - who are forced to work with the kind-hearted, yet dumb as a post singer Jessica Sampson. Cruel sniping and hilarious workplace sexual harassment ensues.

And although the show might occasionally get a little un-pc, in the end it pulls together for a heartfelt message that all young women, nay all people can rally behind; Ladies, if you want a man to like you (and we know that every single one of you thinks about nothing but that at all hours of the day) then don’t talk to him, let him get to know the real you and use that mouth for smiling. Not talking. Boys hate that.

So join us as we become frequently distracted from the barely existent story to focus on more important issues. Such as, the conduct of Russian McDonalds employees, whether Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift right for each other and the funniest way to mispronounce hippopotamus.

Reviewers: James Ferris, Alex Malone, David Shaw, Lisa Dib
Soundboard: Harry Brimage

IMDB - Jessica
New York Times article on Jessica's failure