Eyre on Air

The Exception

March 24, 2020 01:33 - 1 hour - 43.8 MB

In this episode we discuss hot topics like Nazis, pandemics, and full frontal nudity. Wow! Topical! And while the wieners of hot men may seem very flippant in light of recent events, please allow yourselves to enter the twilight weirdo realm that is Eyre on Air. We are here for you. We care about you, and your wiener needs. Oh, and we're reviewing The Exception, which is available on Netflix.

Tulip Fever

March 10, 2020 23:12 - 40 minutes - 17.1 MB

A shorty but a goodie. This week we attempt to remember the time we watched 2017's Tulip Fever, starring Alicia Vikander, Christoph Waltz, some guy named Dane DeHaan, and most importantly, Dame Judi Dench. The original episode we recorded was lost because of bad audio issues, so we decided just to drink and rely on Wikipedia and our memories! It's wild!

Queen of the Desert

February 24, 2020 01:00 - 1 hour - 32.8 MB

While this movie does not give us a whole lot to love, we at least got to listen to Joe make wild animal sounds for over an hour. This week we have reviewed the 2015 Nicole Kidman vehicle Queen of the Desert, directed by Werner Herzog and based on the life of politician and explorer Gertrude Bell. The film also stars the likes of James Franco, Robert Pattinson, and Damian Lewis, who all play men who are in love with Gertrude at one point or another. Oscar for Best Supporting Oscar goes to Sc...

Belle

February 10, 2020 02:07 - 1 hour - 59.5 MB

You asked and we delivered! Maybe too much, honestly, cause this episode is a loooong one. Anyway, this week we are talking about the 2013 Amma Asante film Belle, starring Gugu Mbatha-Raw and half of Great Britain's finest actors. And damn, it was refreshing to watch an excellent film for once.

Little Women

January 27, 2020 03:06 - 1 hour - 45.3 MB

We're back, baby! And better than ever. In a joint effort with friend of the podcast Hilary Post (from We Are The Weirdos, Mister), we spent like four hours talking about Little Women, in all of its' sisterly glory. This episode of Eyre on Air focuses primarily on the 1994 Winona Ryder and Christian Bale version, but you should head on over to the We Are The Weirdos, Mister page to hear all of our equally hot takes on the 2019 film. We're so excited for this collaboration, so please enjoy th...

The Muppet Christmas Carol

December 16, 2019 04:16 - 1 hour - 44 MB

Is this a period drama? Probably not. Do we care? Also, probably not. It's a musical version of the Charles Dickens' classic starring Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, who, inexplicably, does not play every character in this film. Oh also Michael Caine is there. Anyway, please enjoy this holiday film that we watched to cheer ourselves up after The King.

The King

December 01, 2019 22:19 - 1 hour - 87.8 MB

Well, we will try to make this as interesting as possible, but here's the thing; Netflix's The King is a boring piece of film about an interesting piece of history. And not even Robert Pattinson's atrocious French accent can save this navel-gazing drama from itself. Please join us for a Henry V deep dive cut with as much bullshit as we usually bring to the table.

Pompeii

November 18, 2019 03:01 - 1 hour - 66.6 MB

Oh boy we've got a special treat for you this week. Our episode this week was recorded with all three hosts in the same room! That's right, Joe came to Texas! And then we watched a horrible, horrible movie starring Kit Harington, Emily Browning, and Kiefer Sutherland doing the weirdest accent we've ever heard. It's Pompeii! But don't get too excited, there is not NEARLY enough lava in this volcano movie. A surprising amount of horses, though. (RIP Empress Sparklepony)

Far & Away

November 04, 2019 03:48 - 1 hour - 71 MB

Happy November listeners! We are fresh out of our spooky October episodes and headed straight into the 90's with this week's episode. We're reviewing 1992's Far & Away, starring Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise, when he was still hot and not wildin' out on Oprah's couch and preaching about scientology. Also, special shout out to Fungie the Dingle Dolphin. We love you big guy.

Sleepy Hollow

October 20, 2019 22:15 - 1 hour - 86.9 MB

Welcome to our second spooktacular October episode of 2019! This week we've reviewed Tim Burton's 1999 film Sleepy Hollow, loosely based on the Washington Irving story of the same name and starring Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Christopher Walken, and Miranda Richardson. It's an episode chock-a-block full of American literary history, as well as weird, horse-eating flesh trees. We love it!

Dracula

October 07, 2019 01:50 - 1 hour - 64.1 MB

Y'ALL READY TO GET SPOOPY? It's October, and at Eyre on Air, that means we are finding the creepiest period dramas out there for you. So to get you in the mood, we're reviewing 1992's Bram Stoker's Dracula, directed by Francis Ford Coppola and starring Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Gary Oldman, and Anthony Hopkins (who is secretly every character in this film). There's vampires and werewolf wieners aplenty!

Lady Jane

September 23, 2019 02:11 - 1 hour - 78.8 MB

We're shaking things up this week, and by "shaking things up," we mean we recorded this episode in the evening and we drank a lot. Like, even more than usual. Anyway, this week we're reviewing 1986's Lady Jane, starring Helena Bonham-Carter (in her second ever film!), as well as Cary Elwes and Patrick Stewart. It's a train wreck and we loved it! Get ready for some Tudor history and a lot of sex.

The Palace

September 10, 2019 00:07 - 1 hour - 74.4 MB

It's a brand new episode of Eyre on Air, and this week we're reviewing 2013's Chinese historical romance, The Palace, starring Zhou Dongyu and Chen Xiao. Is it a Cinderella retelling? Or is it just a pretty movie with a very low CGI budget? I think you know the answer to that.

In Secret

August 26, 2019 02:20 - 1 hour - 71.5 MB

Welcome to a brand new episode of Eyre on Air, where we have an extra special treat for you! A special guest joins us this week to talk about 2014's In Secret, starring Elizabeth Olsen, Tom Felton, Oscar Isaac, and Jessica Lange. You would think, with all this star power, we'd get an incredible piece of film. And you would be wrong. "MOW IT."

Emma

August 13, 2019 02:52 - 1 hour - 70.3 MB

Good morning and welcome to CherCast! This week we're reviewing Burlesque, starring Cher. And that's it. Just kidding, we're not reviewing a movie NEARLY as good as Burlesque. We're reviewing 1996's Emma, starring ol' Goopy McGoopface herself, Gwyneth Paltrow. As well as Alan Cumming, Toni Collette, Jeremy Northam, and Ewan McGregor's outrageous hair. Tune in for all your pressing Cher needs!

Emma

August 13, 2019 02:52 - 1 hour - 70.3 MB

Good morning and welcome to CherCast! This week we're reviewing Burlesque, starring Cher. And that's it. Just kidding, we're not reviewing a movie NEARLY as good as Burlesque. We're reviewing 1996's Emma, starring ol' Goopy McGoopface herself, Gwyneth Paltrow. As well as Alan Cumming, Toni Collette, Jeremy Northam, and Ewan McGregor's outrageous hair. Tune in for all your pressing Cher needs!

Crooked House

July 31, 2019 02:44 - 1 hour - 66.6 MB

Oooh girl we're for REAL this time! We've got an INTRO and EVERYTHING. Hold onto your butts! Anyway, get ready for some sexy rich people mysteries, cause we're reviewing 2017's Crooked House, based on the classic Agatha Christie novel of the same name. Gillian Anderson in a black bobbed wig will change your entire life. If she doesn't, Glenn Close's obsession with her guns will. Or drunk Christina Hendricks. Who cares! They're all beautiful and wealthy and murderous! Let's drink!

The Last Princess

July 16, 2019 02:54 - 1 hour - 123 MB

Well firstly we would like to say that while we tried our best to get the pronunciations correct, there are a lot of mis-pronounced names in this episode. We apologize. This week we reviewed 2016's South Korean drama The Last Princess, about Princess Doekhye and her life in Japan during the Japanese occupation of Korea. And while it is not necessarily the most uplifting movie we've ever watched, we all learned way more than we were expecting! Also, Jenn and Kelsey cried a lot. Like...they...

A Little Chaos

July 01, 2019 01:04 - 1 hour - 111 MB

Hello! Welcome to France, where we are all incredibly French despite these incredibly English accents. What's that noise I hear? Why, tis a flapping vagina! A woman approaches! How vulgar. This week we are reviewing A Little Chaos, the 2014 period drama starring the late, great, Alan Rickman. As well as Kate Winslet, that woman who plays Narcissa Malfoy, and a very attractive man with beautiful hair. New podcast artwork courtesy of @mollypopgirl!

The Other Boleyn Girl

June 17, 2019 02:53 - 1 hour - 117 MB

Nope, it definitely didn't take Kelsey several times to make sure she spelled "Boleyn" correctly. Sure did not. ANYWAY, welcome to Eyre On Air, a period drama podcast! Hope you're ready for a history lesson, because everything you know about Henry VIII is wrong. And so is Natalie Portman. This week we're reviewing 2008's The Other Boleyn Girl, starring Eric Bana, Natalie Portman, and Scarlett Johansson. And also Jim Sturgess, that sad hobo from Across The Universe. And now, get ready for som...

Mathilde

June 02, 2019 23:28 - 1 hour - 118 MB

What good romance doesn't start with a nip slip? We're headed to Russia for 2017's SCANDALOUS film, Mathilde, starring Michalina Olszanska and Lars Eidinger. While Mathilde may be the biggest drama queen we've ever seen on Eyre on Air, we highly recommend just watching the 1997 animated film Anastasia instead of this movie. *After* listening to this episode of Eyre on Air, of course.

Pride & Prejudice

May 20, 2019 00:47 - 1 hour - 123 MB

Eyre on Air is back, baby! It's season two and we are starting off with a bang! This week we are doing 2005's Pride & Prejudice, starring Kiera Knightley, Matthew MacFadyen, Rosamund Pike, and like 500 other people including Donald Sutherland. Have you ever wondered why "rectory" and "rectum" share the same Latin root word? Worry not! We discuss this, amongst MANY other important topics.

Reign

February 19, 2019 03:38 - 1 hour - 120 MB

Forgive us if we're a little late and a little long this episode, but it's our season one finale! For our 25th episode, we're tackling the infamous "period drama" based on the life of Mary, Queen of Scots, CW's Reign. Who cares who it stars, what we're really here for is the prom dresses, flower crowns, and indie folk music. This show is a goddamn mess, and we are Here. For. It.

Princess Kaiulani

February 04, 2019 00:14 - 1 hour - 89.9 MB

Ah, dream a beautiful dream my friends, in which the white man doesn't ruin very single thing he touches. Dream it real good, cause this episode ain't about that. Nah. We've got some real touchy white boys in this episode, who just can't stand the idea of a native people running their own country without their help. Enter, Princess Kaiulani! While she may not ever get to be queen, that certainly doesn't stop her from trying! This week we're reviewing the 2010 film of the same name, starring ...

Miss Julie

January 20, 2019 23:31 - 1 hour - 76.7 MB

Oooooooh boy, have we got an episode for you this time! This week, we're reviewing 2014's Miss Julie, starring Jessica Chastain, Colin Farrell, and Samantha Morton. And literally, that's it. Based on the play of the same name by August Strindberg, Miss Julie is potentially the weirdest, most depressing film that any of us have ever seen. Full of class issues, sexism, lust confused with love, and suicidal tendencies, Miss Julie is gonna screw you up. So what are you waiting for? Download this...

Girl With A Pearl Earring

January 07, 2019 02:15 - 1 hour - 76 MB

Happy 2019, Eyre on Air listeners! This week, we are reviewing 2003's Girl With A Pearl Earring, starring Scarlett Johansson and Colin Firth, and based on the book by Tracy Chevalier. This is a podcast, reviewing a movie, based on a book, inspired by a painting. Isn't that wild?! So for our first episode of the year, we'd like you to join us for the Adventures of Gert and Meat Man. Oh those two, they're such scamps!

The Man Who Invented Christmas

December 24, 2018 04:23 - 1 hour - 78.1 MB

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, dear Eyre on Air listeners! Are you feeling the holiday spirit? Dan Stevens sure is! Three of them, to be exact. Come with us on this not-so-magical journey into a Charles Dickens' classic, A Christmas Carol, where you too can experience the underwhelming portrayal of Dickens himself! Is he a cautious, reasonable man? Or is he just an asshole? Did he maybe have bi-polar disorder?? Is he scarred for life from child labor? Probably! Either way, we are wishing a merry...

Sense and Sensibility

December 13, 2018 02:36 - 1 hour - 93.2 MB

It's our twentieth episode! In which Kelsey almost gets home invaded, Jenn needs to tether down her turkey, Mrs. Jennings sticks her nose into everyone's business, Kate Winslet gets dramatic, and everyone cries. This week we're reviewing 1995's Sense and Sensibility, starring every British actor that has ever existed. This includes, but is not limited to: Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Hugh Laurie, Imelda Staunton, and the late, great, Alan Rickman. So grab your Regency best and hold onto your...

Outlaw King

November 25, 2018 23:07 - 1 hour - 95.2 MB

Don't talk to us about Chris Pine's penis. We've already seen it and it was nothing worth writing home about. This week's Eyre on Air delves deep into Scottish history with Netflix's Outlaw King, starring the aforementioned Chris Pine. Get ready for blood and guts, literally, as we hash out which king is which, who was in Game of Thrones, and whether or not we actually know who is named Edward.

Dangerous Beauty

November 14, 2018 22:16 - 1 hour - 71.5 MB

Boobies and boogers abound in this latest episode of Eyre on Air! Ever wonder what it takes to be a sex worker back in ye olden times Venice? Well no worries! We've got you covered. Covered in absurd dresses, that is. So break out your highest heels and come with us to Italy in this newest episode, starring Eyre on Air alum, Rufus Sewell.

Interview with the Vampire

November 01, 2018 01:21 - 1 hour - 89.7 MB

Welcome, my spooky friends, to an extra special edition of Eyre on Air! It's Halloween, and we've got a treat for you! We're reviewing 1994's Interview with the Vampire, starring Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas, and Christian Slater. And it's got more angst than your average teen can summon up in an entire year. So get ready for some bad CGI and lots of fake blood, cause Louis and Lestat are coming your way!

Crimson Peak

October 16, 2018 01:10 - 1 hour - 102 MB

Welcome to the Eyre on Air, the SPOOOOOOKY edition! All October, we're reviewing horror period dramas, and we're starting with 2015's Crimson Peak, directed by Guillermo del Toro and starring Mia Wasikowska, Tom Hiddleston, and Jessica Chastain. Get ready to lose your cool, Lucille-style, at this creepy gothic horror.

Padmaavat

October 02, 2018 22:53 - 1 hour - 89.5 MB

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? Well clearly, it is literally every single person in Padmaavat. We may not be able to show these beautiful people to you, but get ready to fill your ear holes with the sweet, sweet tones of Joe, Jenn, and Kelsey discussing 2018's Bollywood epic, Padmaavat.

The King's Speech

September 17, 2018 00:45 - 1 hour - 78.3 MB

Eyre on Air gets history heavy this week, with 2010's The King's Speech starring Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, and Geoffrey Rush. We may not know a lot, but we DO know our British Royal Family. So grab a quick cigarette to clear out those lungs real good and we'll get started.

A Promise

September 02, 2018 21:24 - 1 hour - 74.2 MB

Who's ready for some awkward interactions, poor camera work, soup, and no lesbians? EYRE ON AIR IS. This week we're reviewing 2013's A Promise, starring the late, great Alan Rickman. Oh and also Richard Madden (Robb Stark), and Rebecca Hall. This movie had a 13% on Rotten Tomatoes, and a 13% in our hearts. Get ready for sexless good time.

Howard's End

August 20, 2018 16:16 - 1 hour - 87.8 MB

Wanna take a trip to Howard's End? Wondering wtf is Howard's End? Join us this week as we discuss the 1992 film starring Anthony Hopkins, Emma Thompson, and baby Helena Bonham Carter, based on the novel by E.M. Forster.

King Arthur

August 06, 2018 01:14 - 1 hour - 91.3 MB

We're on the Woad to Ruin in this week's episode of Eyre on Air. In this Last Legion continuation, we tackle 2004's King Arthur, starring Clive Owen and Kiera Knightley. Things get real mystical, real fast. And sexy at the most inappropriate of moments. All haunting tunes are courtesy of Enya's sister, Moya.

The Last Legion

July 23, 2018 01:39 - 1 hour - 82.5 MB

It's our tenth episode! Jenn hates on Game of Thrones, Joe has diarrhea, and Kelsey doesn't know how magic works. Please enjoy the latest episode of Eyre on Air, The Last Legion.

Lincoln

July 09, 2018 00:41 - 1 hour - 75.4 MB

Eyre on Air gets patriotic for our post-Fourth of July podcast. Come listen as Jenn, Joe, and Kelsey go through the annals of American History and get down and dirty with amendments.

La Reine Margot

June 26, 2018 02:29 - 1 hour - 81.6 MB

Today we discuss possibly the thirstiest film we have viewed thus far, the French period drama La Reine Margot. Full of lust, blood, weird incestuous moments, nudity, and dead people, Queen Margot is a trip that arguably none of us wanted to take. But we did this. For you, dear listeners.

A Knight's Tale

June 11, 2018 01:17 - 1 hour - 80.9 MB

Is it really a period drama, or is it an action/adventure movie? We don't care! We're going hard on hair in this episode of Eyre on Air. This week, Joe, Jenn, and Kelsey tackle A Knight's Tale starring the late, great Heath Ledger, and the just okay Shannyn Sossamon.

Episodes

Books