Expounded Universe
289 episodes - English - Latest episode: 13 days ago - ★★★★★ - 58 ratingsJef and Jon review Star Wars expanded universe novels. Every week they discuss a few chapters at a time making their way through some of the strangest and most insufferable entries in the Star Wars canon.
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Episodes
Expounded Universe 39 – With Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks
May 29, 2018 19:31 - 56 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-39-with-unlimited-salad-and-breadsticks.mp3 Finally, we get to meet the hookah-smoking man. The mysterious figure that everyone knows to be scared of, the … dude who’s obsessed with soup. It’s the tale of Dannik Jerriko, racer of wrestle cars and lover of sitting on his ass doing nothing, in today’s thrilling episode of Expounded Universe! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, syste...
Expounded Universe 38 – Davin Busters
May 25, 2018 00:28 - 58 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-38-davin-busters.mp3 Back at it again with the story of a the rise and fall of one of the Empire’s finest. Follow the story of Davin Felth as he goes through basic training, piloting lessons, and then suddenly finds out that the Empire is actual an evil pile of shit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 37 – Jawa Nman
May 15, 2018 20:47 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-37-jawa-nman.mp3 It’s a super special episode as we finally reach the chapter by the man himself, Kevin J. Anderson. He asks the tough questions like “what do Jawa smell like” and “what if there was a Jawa that was pushed TOO FAR”. You’ll find the answers and probably some more elephant anecdotes on this weeks episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 36 – Elephant Tales
May 11, 2018 01:49 - 59 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-36-elephant-tales.mp3 This week at the cantina we are following around that guy in the dollar store devil costume to see what he is up to. Turns out, he is balls deep into the stories of everyone else that has come along so far in the book. Also, we go kind of crazy talking about elephants. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 35 – He’s a Goat, Yall
May 01, 2018 22:43 - 56 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/expounded-universe-hes-a-goat-yall.mp3 While Mos Eisley has been described as a den of “scum and villainy”, so far the book hasn’t been too full of real scumbags. All of that is going to change this week the introduction of Feltipern Trevagg, the biggest asshole on Tattooine. It’s a whole chapter of letting us know just how much of a pile of crap this guy is before giving him his comeuppance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone...
Expounded Universe 34 – Wuher, I Got You All in Check
April 28, 2018 01:43 - 56 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/expounded-universe-wuher-i-got-you-all-in-check.mp3 Though weary and facing insurmountable odds, our heroes manage to put together a podcast this week. Jef is baby-tired and Jon is slowly turning into pure mucous. However, we still manage to bring you the tale of a bartender that doesn’t like droids but then maybe does. Woooo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 33 – Momaw Nadon, Mo Problems Nadon
April 19, 2018 22:56 - 54 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/expounded-universe-momaw-nadon-mo-problems-nadon.mp3 A wise, old Ithorian in exile as penance. An evil officer of the Empire that haunts his memory. See what happens when these two oddly competent characters have to square off with the fate of Tattooine in the balance. Ok, maybe not that much is at stake. But definitely the fate of a bunch of weird plants! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, systemmas...
Expounded Universe 32 – Batman and Robbing
April 12, 2018 16:54 - 57 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/expounded-universe-32-batman-and-robbing.mp3 The meta-plots really start to thicken as we examine the tale of Muftak and Kabe, otherwise known as the Hairy Four-Eye and his good friend, the adorable little bat thing. Characters are beginning to emerge from the woodwork, such as the craggy and evil Captain Alima, the wise old Ithorian Momaw Nadon, and the mysterious hookah smoker. Oh, but we don’t care. We’re busy making our favorite stormt...
Expounded Universe 31 – Built Tonnika Tough
April 03, 2018 17:21 - 58 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/expounded-universe-31-built-tonnika-tough.mp3 Jon’s pretty grumpy from the word go in the tale of the “Tonnika Twins” that contains less than 2% of the following ingredients: Tonnika Twins. Timothy Zahn weaves us one of his usual “badass warriors do badass things because of their tactical genius and cool honor code” narratives, with a weirdly brief stopover to recite the events of the Cantina more or less verbatim. Meet the Mistryl Shadow G...
Expounded Universe 30 – Greedo and Gallant
March 29, 2018 15:48 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-30-greedo-and-gallant.mp3 The sad tale of Greedo is such a comedy of terrible decisions and avoidable circumstance that the only thing it’s missing is a Ron Howard voiceover. We follow the suck-fingered bounty hunter on his journey from little jerk kid to little jerk teenager and beyond (well, not that much beyond, you all know how this one ends)! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place...
Expounded Universe 29 – And it Turned into a Ballroom Bith
March 19, 2018 17:58 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-29-and-it-turned-into-the-ballroom-bith.mp3 The wheel begins spinning anew with the tales behind every dime store werewolf and devil mask seeking a drink and some shade in the famed Mos Eisley Cantina. Our anthology begins with the story of Figrin D’An and the Modal Nodes, the hottest jizz act since… I am not going to finish that thought… no wait I can do this Max Rebo and his Orchestra. There. Nailed the landing. Got S...
Expounded Universe 28 – The Crystal Stop
March 15, 2018 16:11 - 57 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-28-the-crystal-stop.mp3 The big wrap-up episode! We answer your questions about The Crystal Star (Obviously, we are the world established experts on the topic now), discuss the themes of the book, and announce the next chapter in the ongoing Expounded series! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 27 – And Then It Blew Up
March 05, 2018 18:12 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-27-and-then-it-blew-up.mp3 The yawning conclusion of Crystal Star finally arrives! Thrill as dramatic tension moments rise unnoticed and are swept away within a paragraph to get to more hair compliments!Don’t forget, listeners! Next week is the wrap-up episode for this saga of Expounded Universe. We’ll be announcing the next book and answering your Crystal Star questions, so send those to [email protected], right a...
Expounded Universe 26 – Mister Bumblesnuffle
March 01, 2018 18:45 - 59 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/expounded-universe-26-mister-bumblesnuffle.mp3 In this chapter, something happens. Hey, don’t forget to actually hit us with Star Wars questions, as our wrap-up episode is coming soon. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 25 – Unlimited Salad and Dogsticks
February 20, 2018 17:51 - 59 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/expounded-universe-25-unlimited-salad-and-dogsticks.mp3 We’re building to a crescendo here, we just know it! This whole book definitely can’t go by with the most exciting action scene being Leia escaping from a tow truck, no sir! Anyway this time Hethrir reveals his villainous plan, Han has a real problem, and fan favorite character the Chamberlain’s wyrwulf makes a stunning reappearance! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send...
Expounded Universe 24 – This Sun is a Mass of Ineffable Ass
February 15, 2018 20:59 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/expounded-universe-24-this-sun-is-a-mass-of-ineffable-ass.mp3 Great news, Universeketeers (Expoundettes?)! This chapter contains the thrilling conclusion to both the kid-town frolics capers on Hethrir’s worldcraft AND the sudden and well-deserved removal of the Lelilah and Geyyahab characters from the rest of the story. Beautiful! Sadly, we don’t visit with the guys, so we continue to save that drama for Luke’s mama Amidala. On with the s...
Expounded Universe 23 – Hey There Lelilah
February 06, 2018 00:50 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/expounded-universe-23-hey-there-lelilah1.mp3 The kids escape, Han fumes, and Lelilah descends into some sort of criminal underworld tantrum. It’s all coming to a head and we’re here to talk about it! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 22 – His Name was Hethrir, He was a Dancer
February 01, 2018 20:59 - 58 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/02/expounded-universe-22-his-name-was-hethrir-he-was-a-dancer.mp3 Lelila and Geyyahab learn some big secrets, Han recovers after seeing a murder, and Luke fails to save the drama for his long-dead mama on today’s exciting episode of Expounded Universe. Also, Threepio drops some wicked sass. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm...
Expounded Universe 21 – When Waru Still Crushin’ (Ithorians)
January 22, 2018 19:33 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/expounded-universe-21-when-waru-still-crushin-ithorians.mp3 The Jedi children enjoy the literal fruits of their recent Proctor-bamboozling, Leia has a a wookie makeover party, and the Waru plot goopens, as the Bizarro Meatwad reveals his true interests. Will Han ever confront his gambling problems? What the heck are color crawlers? And why is Luke so weird? All that and more right here. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send...
Expounded Universe 20 – Waru, Huh, Good God
January 18, 2018 19:49 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/expounded-universe-20-waru-huh-good-god.mp3 We finally meet Waru, the big ball of oozing meat and gold that just loves to love! Waru is hosting some sort of seminar on castile soaps and healing seaweed people and we’re here to talk about it. Also, Leia is a “diplomat” and Jaina continues scamping. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit m...
Expounded Universe 19 – Qaqquqqu G’Joob
January 09, 2018 21:59 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/expounded-universe-19-qaqquqqu-gjoob.mp3 Today, we are thrilled to finally introduce you to the richest and most dynamic new cast of characters ever found in a Star Wars Expanded Universe novel. It’s so good. Also, Han gets a little summer camp crush, Luke is sickly, and Leia … nothing new, she continues to hate Chewbacca. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more abo...
Expounded Universe 18 – Xaverri Bad Things
January 04, 2018 18:33 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/expounded-universe-18-xaverri-bad-things.mp3 Whoa, subchapters! Almost forgot about these things! On today’s thrilling (that’s Star Wars-ese for “boring”) adventure, Leia gets surprisingly dark, Luke gets surprisingly weird, and Jaina… well look, Jaina’s just standing around watching Hethrir really lean into some jazz hands around his big new sign that says “Nazi Symbolism.” Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the u...
Expounded Universe 17 – An Impossibly Beautiful Man Appears
December 20, 2017 18:40 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/expounded-universe-17-an-impossibly-beautiful-man-appears.mp3 Star Wars meets Dickens in the first chapter we’ve read that’s from the point of view of a five-year old. We’re truly committing to the Legends brand today as we step behind the eyes of Jaina e Solo, the precocious daughter of the very married Han and Leia. Also featured: Hethrir, our copper, cinnamon, and gold-haired villain (it’s in pretty stripes). Got Star Wars questions? ...
Expounded Universe 16 – Her Ethereal Thiccness
December 12, 2017 05:10 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/expounded-universe-16-her-ethereal-thiccness.mp3 Today we’ve got someone new to discuss, a character that has never been seen before in Expounded Universe history, and not only that, it’s a full chapter, just for him. That’s right, we’re gonna hang with Han “The Han” Solo all day long on today’s episode, and he’ll grab spiders, try to spend fancy money, and navigate the weird waters of human-ghostling relations. Got Star Wars questions? W...
Expounded Universe 15 – Horrible Dogs
December 06, 2017 21:59 - 56 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/expounded-universe-15-horrible-dogs.mp3 Welcome to season 2! No more Xizor. No more Dash Rendar. I know! It’s sad! But don’t worry, dear listeners, because some things never change. Like Leia being grossed out by aliens, or Chewbacca getting beat up every few minutes! We’ve got all that and more in the second book of our continuing saga, as we take on The Crystal Star! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the us...
Expounded Universe 14 – Xizor Consequences
November 28, 2017 20:34 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/expounded-universe-14-xizor-consequences.mp3 The victory lap of Shadows of the Empire begins. We bring a pile of stuff to the table, between the book’s exciting (note: not really) epilogue, a wonderful copy of the SotE expansion for West End Games’ D6 Star Wars RPG, and questions from listeners. After becoming fully convinced that the beast Xizor is dead, we announce the next book! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them t...
Expounded Universe 13 – But Why Start Doing the Smart Thing Now?
November 22, 2017 00:32 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/expounded-universe-13-but-why-start-doing-the-smart-thing-now.mp3 WE ARE DONE! This is it, the end of the story of Shadows of The Empire! Who lives? Who dies? What is it to harn? You’ll find out here in chapters 37-40! Don’t forget to tune in next week because this episode has a post-credit sequence. Catch this book’s epilogue, a little Q&A, and the big announcement of the next book on next week’s Expounded Universe! Got Star Wars que...
Expounded Universe 12 – Benny and the Jerks
November 14, 2017 17:22 - 53 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/expounded-universe-12-benny-and-the-jerks1.mp3 Our signature sultry audio has returned! On today’s episode, it’s the sewer level, Vader finally makes his move via a catty phone call, and Xizor is confused about his relationship status. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 11 – Moonglow Over My Hammy
November 07, 2017 22:31 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/expounded-universe-11-moonglow-over-my-hammy.mp3 Let’s put the cards on the table regarding this episode. The sound sucks. There was a catastrophic sound failure during our recording a weekend or two ago that ate a few episodes alive, including this one. So go in ready. Otherwise, we are getting close to the endgame of Shadows. Xizor machinates, Vader broods, and we get a surprise return! Enjoy (such as you can). Got Star Wars question...
Expounded Universe 10 – Xizor Takes a Knee
October 18, 2017 22:16 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/expounded-universe-10-xizor-takes-a-knee.mp3 We are joined in today’s episode by Kat and Pranks from a friendly Star Wars podcast of their very own, Never Tell Me The Pods! We’ll be exploring chapters 28-30, in which the grand Xizor seduction plotline comes to a gross, dumb, veiny head. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/...
Expounded Universe 9 – Fully Armed and Operational Molestation
October 04, 2017 00:19 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/10/expounded-universe-9-fully-armed-and-operational-molestation1.mp3 In today’s episode, Princess Leia is sexually assaulted by a big red lizard man. Everyone else who shows up at all just spins their wheels. Dash Rendar isn’t even here. Palpatine wisely sits this one out. Han was so embarassed he stayed frozen in carbonite. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more abo...
Expounded Universe 8 – Guri Interrupted
September 19, 2017 23:58 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/expounded-universe-8-guri-interrupted3.mp3 In this episode everyone but Luke spins their wheels and so does he, honestly. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 7 – The Rodian Less Twaveled
September 05, 2017 20:25 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/expounded-universe-7-the-rodian-less-twaveled.mp3 Chapters 19 – 21. In which Dash Rendar gets a real wicked sad going, Leia finally meets Guri, and against all odds, Bothans just keep on dying! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 6 – The Life and Death of Manny Bothans
August 22, 2017 01:19 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/expounded-universe-6-the-life-and-death-of-manny-bothans.mp3 In which Dash Rendar slowly turns into that kid that gets birthday presents at your birthday party, Vader and the Emperor make the briefest possible appearances, and Leia ponders the existence of lady criminals. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 5 – Horkin’ Up Dangle Hams
August 07, 2017 15:06 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/expounded-universe-5-horkin-up-dangle-hams.mp3 Welcome to the majesty of chapters 13-15. In which our hero Prince Xizor capers and cavorts about most evilly, Luke does some canyon racing, Threepio belabors the joke, and … well, Xizor pervs out harder than any man should perv. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 4 – Stupid Sexy Xizor
July 25, 2017 01:50 - 59 minuteshttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/expounded-universe-4-stupid-sexy-xizor.mp3 These chapters are in a bit of a holding pattern, but not us, damn it! We discuss the value of Xizor’s workout regimen, Dash Rendar’s continued value as an employee, and Daffy Duck. So much Daffy Duck. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Expounded Universe 3 – Rendar Unto Xizor What Is Xizor’s
July 11, 2017 00:48 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/expounded-universe-3-rendar-unto-xizor-what-is-xizors.mp3 In this episode Vader doesn’t look back, Luke blows up TIE fighters, Lando and Leia fly around with Dash, Luke blows up TIE fighters, Xizor visits Space Tony Roma’s, a Place for Space Ribs, Luke destroys TIE fighters, and to cap it all off, Luke destroys TIE fighters. Enjoy! Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the usual place, [email protected]. Learn m...
Expounded Universe 2 – Xizor Lovely
June 27, 2017 05:08 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/expounded-universe-2-xizor-lovely.mp3 Serious question. How is there so little Xizor/Vader fic on the internet? Just seems like an obvious thing. This episode was recorded with a test mic rig so be gentle on the sounds! We’ll be back soon with more Dash Rendar, more Xiiiizor, and more stormtroopers than ever before. Got Star Wars questions? We’ve got answers. Send them to the new usual place, [email protected]. Learn more a...
Expounded Universe 1 – Dark Shadow(s of the Empire)
June 12, 2017 06:05 - 1 hourhttps://systemmastery.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/expounded-universe-1-dark-shadow.mp3 Okay, here we go. A whole new show just to clear our minds and try out something new. Don’t worry, if you were listening because you liked our signature “terrible never ending banter” we’ve got it in spades for you. We’re starting the new series with a real classic, Shadows of the Empire by Steve Perry (sadly, probably not the lead singer of Journey, but maybe!). Please enjoy our new breed of nonsense....