230: Intergenerational Wisdom ~ The Grand Finale

To conclude the intergenerational series, Sundae brings back René, representing 60+, Marianne, who’s in her mid-40s, and Helene-Jane, who recently completed her 20s. Each guest explains what they’ve learned about themselves and the other generations through this process. The ladies also explore how to dissolve toxic narratives and redefine womanhood.

The post 230: Intergenerational Wisdom ~ The Grand Finale appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC..

Sex and the City. Beverly Hills 90210. The Golden Girls. Jem and The Holograms. These pop culture legends are each prime examples of four very different women fusing their distinct traits, beliefs, experiences, and personalities to create one united magic.

And why each group worked so well is precisely because of their differences. Had they been the same, we would’ve never heard of them because no one wants some boring combination. 

Then, there’s the intergenerational observation. Did you notice that the women in the Golden Girls continue to learn and grow with the same enthusiasm as the youth on Beverly Hills 90210 or the 40-somethings on Sex and the City? There’s a lesson in every show.

Now, imagine if you brought all these women into a single, cozy sharing place… (Hands rubbing together; scheming grin.)

With a lump in my throat and a tinge of sadness, the intergenerational series wraps up this week. So many of you reached out to share how it had impacted you, and I can relate because it has changed me to my bones. I’m overwhelmed with pride and scaredcited for what’s next.

 

And for this grand finale, I’ll bring back René, representing 60+, Marianne, same as me, in her mid-40s, and Helene-Jane, having just completed her 20s. We’ll explore what each of us has learned through this process and how we redefine womanhood on our own terms. 

What You’ll Learn in this Episode:

Rebels who wear pink fiffy skirts
Connection without physical presence
How you may represent a trigger for someone else
The fulfilling life on the other side of difficult
Embracing the alpha female perception

Listen to the Full Episode

Let’s keep the party going right here. Join us and be a voice in the room instead of a fly on the wall. We need more 20-something and 60+ representation, so please share this 100% free, no-strings-attached gift with at least one other woman today.  

Featured on the Show:

 

Wisdom Fusion 6-Week Learning Series
Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC
Sundae’s Facebook Group – Expats on Purpose
Pema Chodron’s book, When Things Fall Apart

 

Catch These Podcasts:

EP226: The Space Women Crave
EP227: Intergenerational Wisdom with René Washington
EP228: Intergenerational Wisdom with Marianne Talkovski
EP229: Intergenerational Wisdom with Helene-Jane Groarke

 

We’re delighted by our nomination to the global Top 25 Expat Podcasts!

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Full Episode Transcript:

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Hello. It is 9:00 am in New York, 3:00 pm in Johannesburg, and 8:00 pm in Bangkok. Welcome to this very special edition of the Expat Happy Hour, as we focus on intergenerational wisdom. This is Sundae Schneider-Bean from www.sundaebean.com. I am a solution-orientated coach and intercultural strategist for individuals and organizations. I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed when living abroad and get you through any life transition.

 

In preparation for this episode, I was searching and searching for exactly the right quote to capture how I felt about our guest today. Scrolling through Pinterest and Googling quotes on womanhood and connection. Nothing seemed to capture it, until I saw this anonymous quote, “Behind every dope woman is one hell of a story.”

 

Well, there might have been more eloquent quotes that are suitable. This one felt perfect because each woman on today’s podcast is one hell of a woman. And I know that that isn’t magic, I know that they’ve done their work to get there today. So it is my absolute pleasure to kick off this very special four-way interview here on Expat Happy Hour today. 

 

And all of this is part of this series on intergenerational wisdom. If you recall back in EP226: The Space Women Crave, I declared what I believe and what I want us all to imagine, including imagining a world where women of all ages are respected for their wisdom and are seen as relevant, valuable, forward-thinking. With safe spaces, where it’s okay to be wrong, and they can lift each other up, bring each other closer, and find power within themselves and among themselves, and be vulnerable, brave, authentic, and loved. 

 

An invitation to momentarily hit pause on demanding modern lives opting instead to reflect, share our stories, as well as offer and receive support. This is exactly what happens today on Expat Happy Hour. I’m so excited because you’ve seen the amazing women that have joined us in the last few episodes. René Washington from EP227, Marianne Talkovski from 228, and Helene-Jane from 229.

 

In this episode, all three are here by my side. What better way to discover a glimpse of the answer to this question: What do we discover when we get women across generations together and have open and deeply honest conversations? 

 

René, representing 60+, Marianne, like me, in her mid-40s, and Helene-Jane having just completed her 20s. We joined together to explore unexpected, learnings. Things that we’ve gained from in the process and we together,  dived into womanhood and the narratives that we’re so sick of being fed about relationships, marriage, our bodies, success and more. And it was a deep and meaningful in-depth conversation. And while I wish I could share the entire thing for you, in the interest of time, I can only give you a taste. Here’s a listen.

 

Sundae: All right. It is my absolute honor to have these three gorgeous souls together for the first time as our fourth piece of this intergenerational conversation. We just did a quick check in with each other and right now, I’m noticing, I’m feeling like a lump in my throat. I’m feeling moved just by how special this is for me. And part of it is from joy because this is so special. And each one of you has given your time and energy, and I know that it’s your most precious resource. So, I’m so honored by that. On the other hand, I’m also saddened by why this is such a unique thing that we’re coming together across generations, and having this conversation. So thank you so much. I wanted to dive in right away. You’ve already heard in the intro and you’ve probably been following along with the episodes of who is with us. But I wanted to just share to each one of you directly what I took away from our process after our conversation, and then we’re going to dive into some other juicy stuff. 

 

So, René, since you were the first one that we did that kicked off this series with me, I just wanted to let you know the impact that you had on me after the interview. First of all, I couldn’t stop thinking about the interview. The next morning, that’s all I was thinking about. It made such an impact on me. And one of the things that I took away was, you can do hard things, you can go through hard things, you can end things, and on the other side is a really fulfilling life. So you gave me so much. Hope after our conversation, I just wanted you to know that. And the other thing I took away, actually I learned from your Facebook posts René afterwards, when you shared what I asked was that just because you’re 60+, doesn’t mean that you’ve already embodied your wisdom and have taken the throne. You know, I called it, “The crone throne–” 

 

René:  The crone throne, yes.

 

Sundae: Exactly. I asked myself how many women are out there with this amazing wisdom and they haven’t embodied it yet or they haven’t owned it yet? So those are the things that I walked away from, from our conversation together.

 

René: Yes, yes.

 

Sundae: Anything that popped up for you René, after we talked?

 

René: Absolutely, it stayed with me too. And the first thing that was so powerful for me was just the fact that we had the conversation. Just the fact that we had the conversation because in this time of supposed  disconnection.

 

And not being able to be in the presence of each other, and yet still we connected across continents. So I just think that’s so amazing and I do think it’s so speaks to the time that we’re in that, how we come through the pandemic, how we come through all the upheaval and unrest is the power of connection so that was what was so amazing for me. 

 

And then the other, with just that reflection on where I am in life from an age perspective, your conversation really made me pause and think about that. I know what my chronological age is but when I think about it in comparison to who my mother was at the same age. And just what a shift in difference there is as far as the differing expectations that we both had from life. My expectations are just so much more expansive than my mom’s were. So yeah, there’s just been a lot of reflecting. And for what the purpose of this conversation is, how can I do a better job of connecting across generations? 

 

Sundae: Hmm. Well, thank you for sharing that. 

 

Marianne after we spoke, I walked away noticing that because we’re both in our 40s, I started the conversation assuming similarity and understanding. And sort of a trust that we shared generational overlap. And the irony in that is that I focus on commonality first, but when I think about our conversation, I ironically represented the girl that you felt different from as a child. Right? And that says so much about what we choose to focus our similarities on, our differences, and how we bring so many multiple identities to our conversations. And some are privileged over others. And that we never know what part of our identity is triggering for other people or can even be as painful for other people and their stories. So that was something I didn’t expect. I walked away going, “I had such a great time talking to someone who is in the 40-something with me,” and then after I reflected, I was like, “Oh, but look at how significant that was as well?”

 

Marianne: Yeah, I want to tell you, I really appreciate you holding space for having a voice and considering that I’m learning to step into my identity more. I’m realizing the paradox can co-exist. We can be the same yet different. I can be me and I can be a, “we.” I can support and also challenge. And it’s one of the things I have the benefit of learning in this training, the DEI training, that all three of us are involved, René, you as a teacher, and Helene-Jane, you and I as students, we’re learning, to look at that paradox and how it can co-exist. And even something that’s coming up for me today especially is, “I’m not responsible, yet, I can make a change.” The things that have happened in previous generations, decisions, choices, experiences, I may not be responsible directly but I can still be responsible to make a change.

 

Sundae: Yeah. That’s right. Any other reflections that you had after we walked away from that conversation?

 

Marianne: I think the similarity was just feeling like we don’t have a– it’s the patriarchy we kind of touched on that a little bit when we were checking in– not feeling like we have a voice to speak up, being a woman. And the body piece too. I noticed, even with Helene-Jane, she had similar experiences as I did about an eating disorder and rejecting the body. And René I don’t know if that was your experience growing up, but I see that all the time in women, no matter what race, age, class, religion. We’re taught to reject the body and have to deal with some kind of healing from that.

 

Sundae: Totally. I remember realizing that my way of rejection was rejecting feminine. So I really judged pink. I judged women who wore fiffy skirts. And I was actually rejecting femininity, and I didn’t even know I was doing it. And it was like, “Take me seriously world! I’m legit,” right? So, yeah, that’s powerful. 

 

Marianne: Yeah, there was one last thing I wanted to say, I realized, and I don’t know if this came up for you Sundae, but my realization after our conversation, I think there are a lot of women in our generation that almost had to prove we were worthy in work. In relationships, to the point where there is this, “emasculating experience,” where women are doing everything and it’s creating this experience of feeling so tired. And having this pressure, “We have to do it all.” And then there’s also this experience of attracting people in relationships that are maybe not doing it all because they are letting us do it all. And so I see that becoming pervasive in our generation. So that was something that interestingly came up after the fact. Right?

 

Sundae: I’m just exhausted even thinking about that, right? Like my whole body just goes, Ugh, I just want to drop it all. There’s something about carrying at all. 

 

René: What’s interesting about that for me is that I think that exhaustion is a commonality across generations. And that we don’t even recognize it. That speaks to Sundae, your thing about, “Well, my generation had it harder than your generation.” And really, as soon as you said that, Marianne, I was like, “Yes, I’m just so damn tired.” And that is something that we can connect to, still as far as we’ve come, as this male-female dynamic as to who carries the load and all that. Yes, there have been a lot of changes and a lot of things that have improved for women, and still, and still those of us in the nurturing, caretaker role, carry a lot of exhaustion. Carry a lot of guilt for wanting to just rest.

 

Sundae: Yeah. Oh yeah. I was not taught how to rest growing up, not at all. I had to learn that in my 40s. I’m still trying to learn that. 

 

Helene-Jane, so when you and I talked, I had so much fun in our conversation. And you taught me so much. And one of the things I loved about what you shared was, let’s just stop the competition of “I’ve had it harder than you.” For those of you haven’t listened to this yet, you’ll hear it, I had it really bad. Stop the competition. I love that. Why is it a competition? I really, in my body, and this whole Wisdom Fusion Project has been acting on something like a hunch or intuition, and now that I’m experiencing the learning, it’s now like that inner knowing. 

 

We have so much to learn from each other. All of us. And I feel like people in their 20-somethings, or lower on the age hierarchy often are probably seen as the least to offer. And I just know, that’s not true. I know that there’s so much to learn and it really did, It opened up my eyes. Why? Why not have friendships that are like, “I’m 40-something, I have a friend who is in the 20-somethings.” Why isn’t that just a given? Why is that something that seems unusual? So those are some things that I took away from our conversation. 

 

Helene-Jane: Yeah. I love our conversation and already what’s been said has been helpful and really insightful. And I think that for me, what I took from our conversation, I think the most was to stop assuming that a woman who’s older tells me their opinion on something I did or they’re, “I got it harder than you,” it doesn’t necessarily come from a place of judgment. Because I always felt like whatever comment they say will be just me, I’m imposing that, they’ve never said that. But they’re like, “Oh well. Whatever. Don’t do this,” or, “Maybe you should have done that,” or something, and it comes from a negative place. Rather than a place of wanting to be a mentor and wanting to help out and say, “Listen, I’ve been through this. I know partly not, exactly, but I can relate to this and this is how I got through this difficult time.” But instead I could kind of do the rolling my eyes like, “Oh look, she thinks she knows more than me,” which in some ways, it’s true. 

 

So that’s what came out of it, really for me, was seeing these comments more. Maybe they’re not said in the best way all the time, but there’s this kind of foundation behind it of like, “learn from me,” and that I might as well take the good things out of it and learn from it. 

 

And I think the other thing that I got which is because René, you already mentioned, it is that idea of exhaustion because we didn’t say the word exactly in our conversation, but René, you just put your finger on it because that’s when one of the things that I think Sundae you had assumed that we had it easier. And especially when it came to feminism and to the place of women in the world. And one of the things is, yes, in some ways, I had it easier but being very aware of everything that’s going wrong can also be exhausting. Because you can’t, like you say, sometimes I just want to be in my family and not have to explain that feminists don’t hate men. Things that for me are taken for granted. But I know that when I go wherever, I say “the family” because that’s where I interact with older women the most. But kind of not having to go through that whole, “Okay, let’s start explaining those things,” and everything. 

 

So, even now I just turned 30, but even at 25, I was already exhausted from having to explain, in some ways because I was aware. And I had done the reading and my university degree luckily had a lot of that into it. So it’s just interesting that I hadn’t put that word, specifically. But you’re right René, already exhausting in that wanting to do something but also wanting to take a break. I don’t always want to be like the feminist dictionary for my whole family. But I know if I don’t do it, then what happens? Yeah. 

 

Sundae: Right? My instinct right there was to look at Marianne and ask, “Do you use your voice?” That’s what I wanted to do. Because it’s like, how many times have I been in conversations where I’m like, “Do I let this pass or do I say something?” And I’m wondering, Marianne and I talked about the “Using your voice,” I’m wondering about how much fatigue you have from using your voice? Or if you’re now actually finding your voice and starting to use it recently. 

 

Marianne: So another thing that came up between our interview and now was somebody pointed out to me that I’m very alpha. And I can relate to you rejecting the divine feminine because I reject — I don’t want to be alpha, I don’t want to be that person that’s like overpowering. And when that was pointed out and it’s been pointed out several times before, but now I realized, “Oh my gosh, that is a gift and I should not battle myself to try to reject it.” So I’ve been speaking up but because I reject the alpha, I feel like I’m not being heard and that is exhausting. So I think there’s this thing that’s shifting in me now. Owning that, “Okay. I have a voice and what I have to say, I hope my intention is to contribute and help,” and don’t fight myself in being heard or recognized or validated. Keep going, keep doing it.

 

So, that’s where I am personally. I don’t know if other women can relate to that, but I feel like in that emasculating piece, there’s been almost this guilt of, “Okay, I’ve been guilty of contributing to that. Now I want to step into the divine feminine,” but I’m also an alpha when it comes to how I feel. How I express myself. My husband, he supports the matriarchy. So I run the household and he is okay with that, but he also does his part. Other relationships I’ve had before were not like that. I was doing everything. So everything’s starting to align.

 

Sundae: I don’t, between like, silence and righteous indignation, there’s really not a lot in between. I’m working on that. 

 

René, I’m watching your eyes. I’m wondering, if any of this resonates or do you have some wisdom?

 

René: Oh no. Well, it resonates on so many levels. So being a Black woman in America, it is almost like I’m in a constant state of rage. And I’m having to take myself out of that rage and be intentional about not living in rage. And then, yes, the patriarchy, matriarchy dynamic of that as women we still have to battle. And yes, even as we’re talking about intergenerational, who has it harder, because now we are more aware and sensitive to the racial dynamic in this country and all of the history that’s been suppressed and denied and lied about. And we’re seeing different groups, Hispanic, Asian, all the things that are happening. And so now, there too is a little bit of tension like, “Okay, who has it worse?” kind of thing. 

 

So, there’s just so many things out there now to keep us in a state of exhaustion and tension and frustration. And so you really do have to be intentional. And that we cannot carry, when Marianne said about being in previous relationships, where she carried everything and I can relate to that too. And when you look at that, even from a bigger picture of just even having to think about all the things that are wrong in the world, that is a heavy load to carry on a day-to-day basis. And yes, there is that more than one thing can be true of, “I want to do my part,” and then I have to allow myself that state of renewal, that time away, that time to just be. And I think that it can be very hard for us as women to do that and to be okay with doing that.

 

Sundae: Right. There’s zero permission. 

 

Helene-Jane: Yeah, and I think that’s one of the things that I took from our conversation, Sundae, that older generations can learn from younger generations because we, and I again I’m talking mostly for me as a White woman also, so there’s a lot of that baggage that I don’t have to deal with. But maybe not in my teenage years but partly because of social media and all that, there’s kind of been this movement of, “Your voice is valid but also you’re allowed to take a break.” Right? You’re allowed to not always be “on” and that doesn’t make you less valid when you come back from that break. It’s not like, “Oh well, you haven’t done anything for…” even if it’s a year. I’m in school. I’m too busy. I’m doing, obviously, what I can on a personal level, but I can’t always be out in the world. And there’s kind of that, “You know what, you do you, it’s fine.” 

 

Obviously, there are certain things that it’s important to call people out, but there’s also that, “It’s okay,” we can’t judge your life because we don’t know it. We don’t know what’s happening at home. We don’t know what you’re dealing with on a personal level. So kind of taking that pressure off a little bit. And maybe, obviously not everybody, but I’ve worked a lot on that and I can see a lot of my friends and everyone kind of have that conversation when it’s like, “You know what, I’m exhausted.” And they’re like, “Well just go for a nap.” It’s that simple. Like, “Just take a break, do something for you then. What can make you happy?” 

 

So that’s kind of the thing that I’m realizing that maybe we can teach each other in some ways and tell you, “It’s okay to not want to do things. Be a hundred percent. Go all the time.” And again, it’s not a competition. You don’t have to prove to me that you’ve done enough already and that your generation had it hard. And I don’t need to prove that I’m still having it hard. Why not instead have those moments where we can fight together but then also have those moments where we can say, “It’s okay to stop”? 

 

Sundae: Hmm. I had to get, I think, an iron deficiency and have a baby for me to even think about taking a break. You don’t have to take a year off. I’m talking like taking five minutes off.

 

*laughter*

 

This really goes into what I wanted to talk about: What are some harmful narratives that were just so sick of being fed? And one of them is: Your worth is tied to your productivity. That’s one of them. I don’t know if you have something on hand that you can contribute. I thought about this question before we started, and my answer surprised me. I wrote, “The harmful narrative that I’m sick of being fed about,” pick it, relationships, marriage, family, career body, success, aging, etc. I wrote down, “stability.” 

 

You know Pema Chodron’s book, When Things Fall Apart. It’s like why does everything have to be so damn consistent all the time, and maintained all the time, right? I didn’t even know that was there. Does that resonate with you or what  comes up when you hear that? 

 

René: Yeah. It actually does. This thing of that, we should be happy all the time. That things should be wonderful and that happiness is like an end goal that we think is just barely eluding us and once we get there, it’s static. And we know that’s not true. And so, yes. And I actually have been embracing more that it takes all the things, it takes all the emotions to really live a rich life. Yes, to understand that at times things will fall apart. And yes, I want to be happy. I want to live a beautiful life, a wonderful life but that does not mean I will be happy all the time. 

 

And that to set yourself up with that expectation just immediately takes you out of ever having really the opportunity to experience that rich life. So “yes” to know that, when things fall apart there is a reason. And that, how we allow ourselves to be a part of the coming back together, that’s the richness of life. That’s the growth. 

 

Marianne: Sundae, I think you and I are kind of representing opposite ends of the spectrum in our own generation because I’ve been trained to– my father was in the military so I’m a navy brat. And so I was always the new girl. And I mentioned to you in a previous conversation being the rebel. I’m always going to ride the tide and stability is basically holding me down. So I always need to shift and change. And most people are afraid to change. I’m like, “What’s next? What’s new? I’m tired of this. I don’t want to be bored.” 

 

René: Absolutely.

 

Marianne: So that’s kind of how I felt about stability, like, “You’re not going to condition me to be stable.”

 

René: Right? Yeah. Because you know that that stability thing–

 

Sundae: It’s a lot of pressure. 

 

René: Yes. It is also containment, constriction, restriction. That’s why people, particularly women, since that’s what we’re focused on, stay in situations and relationships that have never served them or no longer serve them. 

 

We want to stay in the known and we really need to let that go. That it’s okay.

 

Helene-Jane: Yeah. And I think that’s funny because it kind of is what a 20-year-old sees like a 40-year-old woman is like, that’s the thing. Right? What I was saying was like, “Oh, you’re consistent at that point.” Because apparently it happens at that age but now that I’m starting my 30s, I’m already realizing that, that’s not true and that there are lots of changes.

 

But I think a lot of women do put themselves like, “No, I have to stay in this job because that’s just where I am.” But also as women, it’s for other people. “Well if I decide to go back to school or to change, then what about my family? What about my boss? What about my team?” Instead of thinking of themselves. 

 

René: Yes. 

 

Helene-Jane: Yeah, and then, if you have kids too you have that motherhood instinct. And even if we don’t have kids, we’ve been brought up to think of others all the time and not ourselves. But I guess with age, it becomes even heightened, of taking care of others and thinking of others, and then it comes to a point where you’re like, “Well, oh well, there’s only 10 more years before I can retire.” Isn’t it sad if someone, for 10 years, is just waiting to retire? And then what? If you didn’t do that for 10 years, how are you suddenly changing when you retire?

 

René: Yes. Oh yeah. 

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed listening into our conversation as much as I have. At this point in our conversation we dove into the narratives that we were sick of digesting, sick of replicating. Narratives we worked hard to drop in some that we were still working on, like, why are we programmed to apologize? Why are we so hesitant to put ourselves first, when we know everyone will win when we do? Why are women often focused on not quitting, when it’s actually an act of quitting on themselves? Why is working hard the only way that you have to show that you’re doing something worthwhile, while we ignore the benefits of adding ease into our lives.

 

What’s with that, we have to be nice all the time even when it is at a cost to ourselves? Why is there a narrative that good work always has to take a long time? What about this pressure to prove ourselves to have worth? And why is “busy” a badge of honor?

 

So what about you, what narratives are you so sick of digesting? What are the tropes that you feel are put on who you are or who you should be that you just want to drop?

 

Those are important to pay attention to because like the ones that we mentioned, they control our lives or what we’ve seen in our own work, the lives of our clients. And once you drop them, you find freedom.

 

We also paused and shared privately the questions that we have on our hearts and minds but don’t really feel like we have permission to ask, right? I want you to think about that. What is that question on your heart and mind that you’d love an answer to but don’t feel like there’s any permission to ask it? The answer might surprise you.

 

Mine did. I wrote it down and I shared it with them. What came up was, “Am I missing something? Am I not using my voice or my power? My wisdom?”

 

Something in that question was, “Is there a place where I’m not doing enough?”

 

Another wrote down, “Are all my efforts worth it?” or “Am I making it hard for other women to be my friend?”

 

Maybe yours is something like, “When am I going to stop being so exhausted?” Whatever it is, these are questions that are worth asking. And doing so in a community of other women like this makes it so much more powerful.

 

Alright, let’s dive back into this conversation with these amazing women so you can hear what’s next.

 

Sundae: So now as we come to a close, I’m really curious about this experience that we’ve shared. What does this multi-generational or intergenerational conversation inspire you to want to know, experience, or do more or less of?

 

I know for me, I’m hungry for more conversations like this. I know this is powerful. I know that I will learn more about myself and we will learn more collectively if we have more conversations that are intergenerational, that are not tied to our family roles, not tied to people that have agendas for us. And I’m hungry for that. 

 

Helene-Jane: I think mine ties in with yours, which is to find a concrete way to apply that. Because I think it’s difficult if both sides aren’t aware of that effort. We’ve all come into this conversation, being very aware of this but breaking that dynamic. I’m just trying, when I speak with older women, they are coming from a place again of the mentor and it’s kind of an awkward thing to be like, “No, I just want to be your friend.” Like, “Can I also give you advice without thinking I’m insulting you because you have more experience than me on certain points and life experience.” And how to actually apply that to because it’s difficult if both sides aren’t aware and aren’t willing. 

 

And I’m all about the concrete stuff. So I’m still in reflection mode about how I can apply that even to the relationships I already have with my mother and my sisters, about how can I switch this conversation so that it becomes what we’ve just had, which was amazing. 

 

Sundae: Hmm. That’s great. Marianne? 

 

Marianne: I love what you said, Sundae, and I love what you said, Helene-Jane. I just echo like an intentional, clear conscious space, where we can have these conversations. This was super fun and needed for me. 

 

Sundae: Thank you. And I’m going to have you take the throne, René, as the final thoughts. 

 

René: Yes, happy to own the throne. The Quan Throne. Oh yeah, I’m going to take it as Quan, our little play on words to incorporate Queen as Black women designate ourselves. And I am grateful for these intergenerational conversations. And what comes to me is that I will be even more intentional. I do have relationships across generations but from having these conversations, it’s made me more aware that I can be even more intentional in those relationships with women who are older than me and with women who are younger than me. 

To be more curious. To be more, to go deeper, to go deeper, in the connections that we have because I do believe that it is time for us as women to take over. That the matriarchy — it’s time for us to run things. And it will take all of us to really change this world and make it what it has the possibility to be. So I do believe that’s an intergenerational mission.

 

Sundae: Thank you. So just wanted to wrap up with, I can’t even find words for how meaningful this has been to me, for your time. You’ve been more than generous with your time and your wisdom and your openness to this process. And I hope that people who are listening, get inspired to do their own process with the people that they know in their community. And this is just the beginning of the Wisdom Fusion Project. So you are huge founders of this whole movement because of your contribution. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for making that real. Thank you. Thank you.

 

So there you have it. I told you, dope women with amazing stories. This is just a taste of what we discover when we get women across generations together and we have open and deeply honest conversations.

 

As you can tell, it was my absolute honor to be part of that and I’d love for you to experience something that’s special if you’ve been following along since episode 226, you know, that this is all part of something much bigger. What I’m calling the Wisdom Fusion Project in honor of my 8th business birthday coming in June, I’m celebrating and this is a gift I’m offering to my community and also to myself. It’s an intimate, invitation-only, six-week intergenerational learning experience among women. Today is just a tiny taste of what’s possible. You can learn more by going to the link Wisdom Fusion in the show notes. Keep in mind, there’s no cost but spots are very limited and the window to apply is closing soon. It’s important that we gather a group of diverse women representing the generations from 20 to 60+ here. So we can have these deep and meaningful conversations. 

 

So do apply, if you feel called it is certain to be transformative. This is an opportunity for you to discover new facets of yourself, learn from other women’s hard-earned wisdom, share your journey and support others who just might need it. 

 

Discover that you’re not alone in your challenges. Be inspired and become part of an intergenerational community of women that you can call upon for support in the future. And perhaps most importantly, redefine womanhood on your own terms.

You’ve been listening to Expat Happy Hour with Sundae Schneider-Bean. Thank you for listening. I’ll leave you with the words of Christopher James Gilbert, a poet and philosopher, also known as Criss Jami. He says: “We often hear about stepping outside ourselves, but rarely about stepping outside our generation.”

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