Bar-Mitzvah- How a Dyslexic Prepared for it

I want to share my perspective and what I went through.

each community, each place of worship, each family may have a different vision for what this Milestone will look like and what it means in terms of ceremony and speeches.

for some the community and cultural norms dictate a party with friends yet to others this big day means sharing some words of Torah well finishing the six books of the mishnah.

of course I wanted to have some sort of Celebration with my friends and family. but in my community this big day revolved around the Sabbath morning service. the expectation is that the bar mitzvah boy can recite and read aloud from a Torah scroll with no vowels the entire weekly portion.

my weekly Torah portion was made up of 5313 letters, 1462 words, 118 versus, and 185 lines.

at first glance for somebody who has dyslexia this task seemed unrealistic and insurmountable.

my loving parents explain to me that I won't know what the experience is like or how much I can do and encourage me the focus on one section. For those who may not know the weekly portion is usually broken down into seven parts. A different person from the communities called up and recites the blessings for each of the respective parts, while the bar mitzvah boy reads the portion.

baby steps, I can handle that. And so I ventured to learn the first line of the first portion. Which wasn't easy. But lucky for me I happen to like singing and the trup which helps you read the words out loud in a moledic/song way. next came the vowels I needed to learn the vowels and apply them to that first line. it took a lot of repetition. A lot of listening to that line via audio. But then I got it, one line down 117 to go.

I'm no miracle worker, but it did take hours and a tremendous amount of patience and love from my teachers and my parents.

At the end of the day I did it. But it wasn't simple. I remember finishing the learning of the last two lines the night before my big day.

My parents were ahead of their time when it came to the second big challenge that a bar mitzvah child goes through which is the speech. in order to remove this challenge. my parents free tape to me reading my speech. Or I should actually say saying my speech in my own words with no pressure no glaring eyes to pierce through my thoughts.( that was really dramatic and quite descriptive. Not sure where that came from. But that sounded cool) and then they seamlessly weeds all of my video clips together. And played my speech at my bar mitzvah.

I can't resist sharing one other really neat thing that my parents did with me. In order to send thank you notes the people who were gracious enough to share a gift with me Especially when writing is not easy for me. My father video taped me sharing a customized thank you to each individual who shared in my special day.

for me. This day was a tremendous accomplishment not just for being able to create my own differentiated learning Bar Mitzvah program. Because I was proud of myself taking the baby steps and being okay at every roadblock and every stumbling block to say maybe this is enough. And yes I was able to accomplish 118 versus But I was happy with myself at number 10.

I enjoy challenging myself, I had the resources, I have the time, and I had a creative team behind me. it just worked. but that doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone. And it doesn't mean that the next Bar Mitzvah child if it doesn't work the way they wanted to work shouldn't feel a sense of accomplishment, not about matching expectation of your neighbor or classmates. it's about determining a goal. A realistic goal. And getting it done.( Knowing that even the initial goal may need to be readjusted)

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