DVD podBLAST | Season 2 Archive
33 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 13 years ago -From Adudathuda Studios comes the Season Two archive of DVD podBLAST alternative DVD commentary. Download the BLASTs, easily sync them up with the DVD (or just listen straight up) then kick back and enjoy the movie as no one ever has. Season 1 Archive and current Season 3 are available at www.dvdpodblast.com.
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Episodes
Highlander II - DVD podBLAST
September 20, 2007 19:00Once again, another movie that falls into the "could be considered the worst sequel of all time" category. Problems: Sean Connery's head has been reattached. John C. McGinley does NOT sound like Orsen Welles. (Otherwise brings it) Aliens. Including, but not limited to, Pigeon Assassins. It's the podBLAST season finale. Good: Solid actors doing what they can with crap. Virginia Madsen BLASTers granted a 3-month leave-of-absence to recover.
Bad Boys II - DVD podBLAST
September 13, 2007 19:00Hell yeah. Short of the Double Double Damme Damme and the two-part Pearl Harbor BLAST, here is the single longest BLAST ever. 63MB of BLASTin'. But is it all BLASTin'? Did one of your very own turn to the dark side? Download and find out. As for the movie... 2 hours and 17 Minutes of Michael Bay's signature, flat-lit, product-placed, lowest common denominator, quick-cut, plot-light, action "filmmaking". Though it's never been checked, we think it's probably a cult classic with most ...
Blues Brothers 2000 - DVD podBLAST
September 06, 2007 19:00whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhyWHY?? Arguably the worst sequel-to-original disparity in the history of cinema. This hunk of crap jumps the shark in so many ways that if we listed them all here, we might break the internet. How Dan Ackroyd was able to round everyone up for this is a mystery. One suspects that no one asked to read the script first. Suggestion: Dan, instead of showing your love of music and Blues by trying to reproduce the magic of the original Blues Brothers, do a ...
Alone in the Dark - DVD podBLAST
August 30, 2007 19:00Another Ewe Boll film. Well, what can you say about a director that has admitted his movies are bad, then in the same breath blamed the video games they're based on as not being good source material? Seriously, what can you say? Who gives a shit, it's perfect blasting material. Bad movie, laughable performances (we're looking at you, Tara Reid), pointless gore, spooky caves that are really alternate dimensions... perfect. So, let's go out on a limb here and say... Thank you, Ewe. Th...
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life - DVD podBLAST
August 16, 2007 19:00Super-sexy Angelina Jolie is all T's & A in this franchise deuce, though you would never know it. It's like the movie was cut with gay men and jealous girlfriends in mind. So with no gratuitous shots of Mrs. Pitt, what are you left with? Pandora's "box"? Yeah, we know... sounds promising, but it turns out to be lame. But: The dude with all the pecs and abs from 300 is in it. Finally. A film for the Gay Male Gamer.
Ghostrider - DVD podBLAST
August 09, 2007 19:00Nicholas Cage rides through this pile of crap (yet another poorly realized Marvel adaptation) admirably, though clearly much of his time was spent in his trailer while the animators took over. Try to forget that he made a deal with the devil and can't be killed, and you may just sense some drama here and there. Two other things to note: Eva Mendes can't even pull off a convincing news reporter. Uh, Eva? The Academy called. They'd like you to go home now. One of the greatest mis-cast...
Reindeer Games - DVD podBLAST
August 02, 2007 19:00We like Ben Affleck. We really do. Why he happens to be in so many BLASTed movies is a mystery. Make no mistake, though, Reindeer Games sucks hard. If it's not the championship collection of stupid double-crosses, then it's the several unbelievable leaps of logic. Pointless narration? Got it. Lame, unrealistic villains? Yep. Someone to root for? A sympathetic hero? Uh, no. However, Charlize Theron appears twice with minimal clothing.
Double Double Damme Damme - DVD podBLAST
July 05, 2007 19:00 - 83.1 MBThe heat is getting to us. As we sign off for a short summer vacation, we leave you with the first ever DVD podBLAST double feature: Double Impact and Double Team (in that order) Both starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, one starring him twice, and the other also starring Rebound King and former Flavor of the Month, Dennis Rodman. Squeamish about hearing your BLASTers chow down? Too bad. Trying to survive 3.5 hours of "The Damme" without eating is impossible, so at the break, we send on...
Epic Movie - DVD podBLAST
June 21, 2007 19:00We've done the franchise killers, we've done the career killers, we've even done the director killers. Here's a new one... The Genre Killer. If the makers of Airplane and Top Secret knew back then that this was where zany comedy was headed, they probably would have just stuck with their day jobs. Luckily for everyone, looking into the future is impossible. Unfortunately for DVD podBLAST, un-watching a movie is also impossible.
The Bonfire of the Vanities - DVD podBLAST
June 14, 2007 19:00The title, The Bonfire of the Vanities, refers to an event in 1497 whereby a puritanical leader in Italy sent his Troops of Morality house to house, requesting that folks give up their "vanities" - paintings, cosmetics, "pagan" books - and throw them onto the 15-story bonfire. Nice. As the undisputed modern day equivalent of the Troops of Morality, DVD podBLAST will soon be going door to door, nicely asking people to give up their DVD copies of The Bonfire of the Vanities so we may throw...
Jaws The Revenge - DVD podBLAST
June 07, 2007 19:00The earliest known sharks date back to about 400 million years ago. Dinosaurs appeared around 200 million years ago and were gone in the blink of an eye (geologically speaking) because they sucked. Sharks, on the other hand, rule, and are still around. Hungrier and more pissed off than ever, they have evolved to hold grudges and survive on a steady diet of kids. Their black hearts pump nitro glycerin and they can smell grandma stank from halfway around the globe. (This is shit you d...
Batman Forever - DVD podBLAST
May 31, 2007 19:00One would think that for DM's and PBW's birthday, they might give themselves a break. Watch a good movie. Take a week off. Nope. Yet ANOTHER BLASTed Batman movie. It's like another Star Wars franchise. WOW.
Artificial Intelligence: A.I. - DVD podBLAST
May 24, 2007 19:00It should be good. Spielberg calling the shots; Stanley Kubrick smiling from beyond; Jude Law, William Hurt, and Haley J. all bringin' it. Problems: It is 7 hours and 19 minutes long. SexBots are not real. It contains no less than two endings, arguably more. The fabled Blue Fairy is hotter than the mom (Frances O'Connor). (Debatable) Chris RockBot; Robin "Dr. Know" Williams. Matt and D do not own a condo in Rouge City. Pros: Special Effects can not be denied. Teddy. Officially ...
The Marine - DVD podBLAST
May 17, 2007 19:00Fans of explosions and hard nipples rejoice: Your film has arrived. Fans of WWE and John Cena who also have no brain (or a non-functioning brain): Enjoy the film. We know you will. Fans of rock candy: Prepare to take up arms. Fans of entertainment; fans of not being insulted; fans of not wasting hard earned money on crap; fans of "UNRATED" meaning, "You can jack it to this movie"; fans of shit that doesn't suck shit: This BLAST is for you. (Quick clarification: There i...
Lost in Space - DVD podBLAST
May 10, 2007 19:00If this movie hadn't been so boring, it could have made Matt LeBlanc a movie star. Yeah, he starred in a movie about a monkey that's also a baseball player, and yeah, he let his agent talk him into "Joey". But seriously, he was pretty good in Lost in Space. And oh my God, Lacey Chabert is... uh... 16 in this movie. No more to say. Who can we blame? How about Akiva Goldsman, the writer, who also wrote Batman & Robin (BLASTed) and Batman Forever (coming soon)? OK, Done. Makes one thi...
Tequila Body Shots - DVD podBLAST
May 05, 2007 16:00 - 43.9 MBHappy Cinco de Mayo! Join the BLASTers and special guest Senta Moses on a journey through the depths of the human soul as they explore the meaning and significance of Tequila Body Shots. Few knew that what has long been considered just a super hot way to get tequila into your belly is actually an ancient Mexican tradition designed to get really cute guys laid. It's also closely related to necrophilia. (Look that one up, kids.) Joey Lawrence brings it home in his own, very particular st...
Supergirl - DVD podBLAST
April 26, 2007 19:00What is the best thing about Supergirl? It's our 50th BLAST, that's what! So instead of writing about some crappy movie that should probably be called Suckergirl or Superdouche, let's instead focus on the positive. DVD podBLAST. 50th. Wow. That is a lot of stank. In fact, if you could make a pile of all the stank that these 50 movies have unleashed on the world, you would have... well, a lot. Like, "Call Al Gore" a lot. And you know what? Supergirl would be the cherry on top. ...
Driven - DVD podBLAST
April 19, 2007 19:00What, really, can you expect from the director who brought you Cutthroat Island? (OT: I hear there's an AWESOME alternate commentary for that movie!! Check it out!!! dvdpodblast.com) There are so many plot holes and inconsistencies in this movie, you'd have to be a blind New Yorker to crash your car into a story. Or Villain. Or Engaging Character. Here's a fun side game: bet your friends who can determine the exact moment in the movie when the special effects budget ran out.
Dungeons & Dragons - DVD podBLAST
April 12, 2007 19:00Just very simply - this may be the worst adaptation of anything, ever. If you are a player of D&D, if you've ever played D&D, if you've heard of D&D, or if you've ever walked past a gaming store in the mall, this movie should offend you to the core. Most offensive is Marlon Wayans... or Thora Birch... or the blatant Star Wars rip-offs... or the fact that Thora Birch was nominated for two awards that aren't designed to make fun of her. Unless you are a level 5 wizard, do NOT watch this m...
Street Fighter - DVD podBLAST
April 05, 2007 19:00The Movie that Killed Raul Julia. The video game Street Fighter is one of the simplest, most basic games out there - just kick the shit out of your opponent. The movie takes the idea several steps further, introducing political intrigue, societal oppression, and assassins of the English language. It takes a few key steps back, however, when it leaves out the KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR OPPONENT part. IMDB says the guy who wrote and directed this mess also wrote Die Hard. Yeah right. ...
Crossroads - DVD podBLAST
March 29, 2007 19:00Produced at the height of Britney Spears' sex-kitten fame, Crossroads suffers from an identity crisis. Much like the current Ms. Spears. Hmmmm. Anyway, is it produced for tweener fans of Britney? If so - who's the filmmaking wizard that came up with the gratuitous scenes of Britney dancing in her underwear to make ordinary tweens feel fat and ugly? Or is it produced for thirty-something men who have longed for just a little bit more Britney skin ever since they laid eyes on the Hit Me...
Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift - DVD podBLAST
March 22, 2007 19:00 - 44 MBA troubled Southern teen (Lucas Black) travels to the land of the distant sun to live with his troubled, whore-loving father. (Sound familiar? Thought so. Yeah, we're talking to YOU!) Within hours of arriving, he falls in love with another troubled foreigner, gets caught up in the world of drift racing, and is taken under the wing of a Japanese mobster with a huge supply of exotic four-bangers and a taste for cheesy snack crackers. Well, as you might expect, one does not become numbe...
Leprechaun - DVD podBLAST
March 18, 2007 06:59One year before she became Jennifer "Rachel Green" Aniston, she was just Jennifer "Tory Reding" Aniston, running around kicking ass on an innocent, homicidal Leprechaun. He just wants his gold, people! Just give him his gold! OK, seriously? We barely remember the movie. Hope the BLAST is OK. Check www.dvdpodblast.com on Monday for some pics.
Caddyshack II - DVD podBLAST
March 15, 2007 19:00The quintessential example of filmmakers thinking "Hey, it was funny in number one, let's really amp it up for number two!" Rumor has it that Rodney Dangerfield was asked to do it, but wanted to contribute to the script. When the filmmakers refused his request, he declined. Now, your humble BLASTers have no way of actually knowing, but something tells us that Rodney would have started it something like this: ---- FADE IN A beautiful GOLF COURSE on a beautiful day. Bitchin' MUSIC roc...
Son of the Mask - DVD podBLAST
March 08, 2007 20:00Don't let the hilariously clever title throw you - this movie blows. In this episode of "Franchise Killer Theatre", we find Jamie Kennedy as a down-on-his-luck cartoonist who gets a hold of The Mask. After wearing it to a very convenient costume party (<** party scene deleted from memory **> he comes home and breaks off a little somthin-somethin with the old lady. Fast forward nine months (really, 40 weeks, people), and little baby is born with all the powers of the mask, yet none of th...
Elektra - DVD podBLAST
March 01, 2007 20:00What is the deal with ninjas? Aren't they supposed to be ruthless killing machines sans conscience? Shouldn't movies about ninjas be awesome? Free of cliches? Full of killin'? Just curious. Jennifer Garner - yum. (DTM does not approve of previous line)
Blair Witch 2 - DVD podBLAST
February 22, 2007 20:00The official title of this movie is Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, however, as any astute viewer will notice (as did your BLASTers), there is no book, nor are there any shadows. If that isn't enough, this BLAST came under the Blair Witch curse. During the original recording, the last half of the BLAST was mysteriously silent. The recording continued, but there was only silence. WhoooOOOOOOooooo! Spooky. As a result, this BLAST has been spliced together at the 30:00 sync check mark. ...
Dreamcatcher - DVD podBLAST
February 15, 2007 20:00Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. We love our BLASTphemers. So in honor of the holiday, we bring you, by request, Dreamcatcher, 2 hours and 15 minutes of misguided Stephen King adaptationism. Just a quick note - - This particular request, from someone named... let's say, "Colin", from somewhere called... mmm... let's say, "Newcastle, Australia", was either a legitimate petition to BLAST a horrible movie, or a heinous prank whose purpose was to either: - Drain our collective lifeforce. ...
Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls - DVD podBLAST
February 08, 2007 20:00Alternatively titled, Ace Ventura 2: The Franchise Killer. This questionably conceived follow-up to the universally loved original (yes, UNIVERSALLY) features Jim Carrey at his muggiest, overactiness best. One thinks that Walsho may want to think twice before defending such a stankpot of stank.
Basic Instinct 2 - DVD podBLAST
February 01, 2007 20:00Could this be the best drinking game ever?! Take a drink for: - Sexual innuendo (only if it's SUPPOSED to be, you perv) - Every time time any journalist character appears (alive or dead) - Unresolved plot points - Any time Sharon Stone smolders Uh, on second thought, if you play this game, you will die of alcohol poisoning. DISCLAIMER: Seriously, no drinking. Instead, make it a laughing game. Bring some love into this world, people!
Batman Returns - DVD podBLAST
January 29, 2007 00:49QUESTION: Should Batman Returns have been BLASTed? ANSWER (Steve): No. ANSWER (Everyone else): FUCK yes. It had its good points - Michael Keaton as THE Batman, Michelle Pheiffer in a catsuit, Christopher Walken as Christopher Walken - but it also had Tim Burton(tm) brand sillyness, magic penguin pallbearers (spoiler... oops!), and the word "poon-tang". Besides, though this is one of the best movies to ever suffer a BLAST, it did prompt the BLASTers to reveal their secret plans for a...
Speed 2: Cruise Control - DVD podBLAST
January 18, 2007 20:00It's a few years after Speed, and Annie (Sandra Bullock) has dumped super-buff Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) for a pleasantly compact Alex Shaw (Jason Patric), who she believes to be a nice, mellow member of LAPD's "Suicide Squad". When she totally plausibly finds out that he's actually an adrenaline freak, she gets really, believably upset. Luckily, Alex keeps cruise tickets stuffed down his pants for just such an occasion. From here, I'm sure you can imagine: Psychotic, scorned employee...