DSD 030 Habit #1 Believe in Yourself

Today is the HABIT OF PERSONAL BELIEF… the first of 20 “Habits of Success” and I’m going to share my honest journey through each of them.

Every PERSON can HELP THOSE THEY LOVE THE MOST by BELIEVING IN THEMSELVES FIRST.

I know for a fact that if you don’t believe you, no one else will either.  Your own negative self-doubt starts to rub off on those you’re closest to, like your spouse, kids and friends.  

The habit of personal self-belief will give you confidence that cannot be confused with arrogance, you will not turn into someone’s puppy dog and your future will look brighter than ever. 

Confidence should be taught at a very young age. Children should be raised to be self-confident. Most are not. I was not. Because I was not raised this way, I became dependent on another person’s confidence.

When I was growing up through junior high and high school I remember I had no identity of my own and no confidence in myself. I had glasses I had to wear every day. They weren’t stylish and none of my peers wore them. I was it. Odd man out. I also had flat feet and my mom insisted I wear orthopedic shoes. (In case you’re wondering, it was the early 1970’s) Big black, round-toed shoes that no one else wore. They all had running shoes. Not me. Just another oddity that set me apart from the crowd in the worst way possible.

I was teased a lot.

A new kid came to town. His name was Don Sidney. He was confident, athletic and most things I wanted to be. We became friends. He was Don Sidney and I was a Don Sidney wannabe. I tried to be like him, act like him. Even dress like him. How he put up with me I have no idea, but he did.

This went on all through high school. I grew out of the big black shoes but not the glasses. Joined the football team, ran track, got involved in everything that Don was involved in. I was Don’s puppy dog. I felt like I had no personal identity apart from Don.

I didn’t break out of this “puppy dog phase” until my senior year. Not because I gained personal belief in myself. My focus shifted.

Here’s another problem… my focus shifted away from Don and on to something else. I didn’t break free from dependence on someone else’s confidence. As a result, I worked hard for the approval of others and not for the service of others. I still had very little confidence in myself. I lived most of my adult life without believing in myself

I’ve realized you can’t effectively believe in your own growth, your own success or your own relationship success until you have belief in yourself.

See yourself for who you are. Filter through all the negative things you learned growing up. Learn to recognize them and commit to overcoming them. For me, I was raised to believe everything I did wasn’t good enough. I was fed sarcasm and “Not good enough” messages my entire life from birth until I left home. I had no idea what it meant to be confident in myself. I had no one to guide me and realized I had to guide myself. I saw the confidence other people had in themselves and I wanted it too.

Here’s your action plan:

Wake up every morning with something positive to say to yourself/about yourself... Then say it. Say it convincingly. Say it with conviction. “I am…” I can…” “I will…” The world doesn’t have to believe you. You have to believe you.
Remember Mohammed Ali, “I am the greatest.” Start feeding yourself daily doses of positive input. Read self-help books. Find podcasts that build you up and challenge you to be better. You need to counteract any negative thoughts and input that may be keeping you down. Make this a 90-day goal. Every day. Never miss. Commit to it. Don’t get down on yourself if you miss a day. Keep going. Keep at it. Mark it off every day on a calendar. Make a chain of X’s

When you do this… when you do believe in yourself fully and completely, you will begin to act out your own belief. Progress leads to belief. Growth leads to belief. Feed your mind everyday with self-development material, new knowledge, empowering speakers and taking action. Once you start making progress belief will come. Belief will grow. Back yourself. You can do this.

No one will believe in you until you believe in you. If you want people to support you, lead by example. Back yourself. If you want people to believe in you, believe in yourself.