DSD-023 The Transformation Equation

My wife is not the best of traveling companions. When we fly, I always get the middle seat. As soon as we sit down, my wife gets out her Bose headphones and plugs them into her iPhone and opens an audio file I had made for her… a 10-minute prayer in first person female voice with music in the background. She goes to her happy place until we’re safely in the air. She also holds my hand…tightly…in a vise-like grip that cuts off circulation to my hand.

While she’s doing that, and just before takeoff, I intentionally shift in my seat, sitting a little more upright, close my eyes and begin what I call the Transformation Equation. The world around me can be screaming babies, disgruntled salesmen, hyper-busy professionals or a high school baseball team heading home from a tournament. It doesn’t matter. I can deal with all of it in a calm, non-reactive manner. (Stewardesses love me)

TheTransformation Equation is a simple technique you can learn right now and begin to practice almost immediately.

The first part of the equationis your ability to ISOLATE. In a crowded plane with a wife who doesn’t like to fly…at home with some slightly out-of-control kids… Just before getting up to speak at a meeting.  Wherever you find yourself or whenever the world around you gets tense or a little crazy...

First, shift your position. Sit a little more upright. Free your hands and arms from any constraints (unless you’re flying with my wife).

Next, close your eyes. Shut out any visual context of potential stress.

Finally, imagine your happy place. Sounds a little cliché and that’s OK. For me it’s the mountains, which explains the graphics.

The second part of the equationis a simple way to MEDITATE.Breathe in through your nose for 6 seconds, hold for 2 seconds and then exhale through your mouth for 7 seconds. 6+2+7=15 seconds. Do this, 4 times and that’s one minute, just one minute. The meditation aspect comes in as you consciously count in your mind. You are focusing on breathing in a very specific way. By doing so you are directing your focus away from whatever is negative. You’re doing it consciously, triggering in your mind that you are in control.

Depending on your situation, the breathing can be shortened. Done just once.

This can be done seconds before every speech to calm nerves, as it gives your mind and body the idea that you are in control. That’s because you ARE in control. You just need a reminder.

The result is that you TRANSFORM.

Calm replaces Crazy… You calm your anxiety by taking control of your breathing. Control replaces Chaos… You focus on what you can control, reminding yourself you have absolutely no control over the crazy driver or the screaming kid.

You transform from the possibility of negative reaction to positive response.

Isolation + Meditation = Transformation

The last time my wife and I flew, it was from Baltimore to Denver. My wife always chooses where we sit, and it was near the front of the plane and the aisle seat was already occupied… by a mother and her 10-month old son. Before I sat down my mind was already heading to the mountains. I believe I mentioned to my wife out loud, “You know this is Southwest. I can sit anywhere I want.”  As we started to take off, I shifted position, closed my eyes and began breathing, counting, breathing, counting. Once safely in the air, my wife let go of my hand. I checked it for ligament damage and then I began to make friends with Charlie. By the end of the flight Charlie was in my lap and eventually Lisa’s lap fascinated with the clouds and the sky. All were calm. We were almost home.