Diner Talks With James
91 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 123 ratingsRemember the last time you and few close friends stayed up too late at the Diner because no one wanted to leave? You didn’t need that grilled cheese with a side of pancakes but damn if it didn’t hit the spot! You laughed until you cried or cried until you laughed. Regardless of which lead to what, you left feeling a little more thoughtful, grateful, and actually full. Those are the best conversations we have in our lives, and the reason why Diner Talks with James exists. I’ll be your bearded bespectacled host, James Robilotta. I’m an author and professional speaker who talks to willing and unwilling audiences on the role that authenticity and vulnerability must play in life and business. I am a life coach with a Masters in counseling and 16+ years of improv comedy experience. Most importantly, I am a fellow human being with a fervent curiosity for others’ passions, relationships, insecurities, ambitions, patterns, and food quirks. So, come join me in The Diner. Slide into the booth, place your order, and tell me a story.
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Episodes
Perfectionism and Integrative Medicine with Wellness Expert Kristel Bauer
June 17, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 47.2 MBToday I’m hanging out in the diner booth with wellness expert, Kristel Bauer. We talked mind, body, heart, and soul – as we do in the diner, we covered it all. She shared about how she got into integrative medicine and how she valued a holistic approach to wellness. We talked about perfectionism and how vulnerability is far more relatable and powerful in coaching. And we rounded it out with a conversation about grace and having the courage to start. It should also be noted that Kristel ord...
Everyone’s Favorite Sardine Eating, Ukrainian Immigrant, Stand-Up Comic, Boris Khaykin
June 10, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 56 MBBoris and I go way back, and I’m so glad he finally made it to The Diner. My boy rolled up with a can of sardines and apologies in advance for what it sounds like on a podcast when a guest eats sardines. After a lot of talk of omlettes and the many versions of canned fish that exist, Boris shared about his childhood in Ukraine, and their journey to America as Jewish refugees from the Soviet Union in the 90’s. He shared comical stories of his childhood, including that of a circumcision at the...
How to Talk About Mental Health in Classrooms and with Friends with Mental Health Pioneer, Ross Szabo
May 27, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 51 MBMental health is important, talking about it is hard and that is exactly why my guest, Ross Szabo is consistently sought after as a go-to teacher on the topic. It was awesome having my friend in the diner and we kicked things off chatting about Pennsylvania diners and circus fries. We then took a classic James hard left and we talked about how Ross got into doing mental health work and the time he tried to take his life in high school. He told me about rebounding from bullying and being labe...
The Realness of Being a Stay at Home Mom with motherhood content creator Tasheka Grant
May 20, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 44.4 MBY’all, Tasheka Grant, motherhood community creator and influencer, took the diner by storm this week. Tasheka is a fellow New Yorker, so naturally, we kicked things off talking about our fondness of New York diners. We then talked about being a stay-at-home mom and how that came to be in her life. She told me about the strained relationship she has with her mom. We discussed just how hard being a stay-at-home mom is. Letting yourself and your children feel what they are feeling and talk thro...
Punching Low Self Worth in the Face with Married at First Sight’s Rachel DeAlto
May 13, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 46.8 MBRelationship expert and media personality, Rachel DeAlto brought highly caffeinated (her words, not mine) joy and energy to the Diner and we covered A LOT of ground. We talked about deviating career paths and both of our desires to be actors and how we ironically went in very different directions (lawyering for her marine sciencing for me) only to end up back in media/speaking roles. Then we dove in deep with conversations about self-worth, divorce, and finding love again. She shared about h...
Screw the NBA, I Want to Play Ball in Europe with Professional Basketball Player, Taylor Rochestie
May 06, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 52.2 MBIt’s not every day you get to hop in a diner booth with a professional basketball player, but today was that day! Taylor Rochestie is an incredible man with a great story and a brand new bestselling book. We naturally started with when the goal of being a professional basketball player started for him. Surprisingly, NBA was not the dream! It was fascinating to learn about his work ethic and learning progress over perfection in order to become elite. Just to keep it fun he met his wife in Fra...
How to Stop Playing Small and Realize You’re a Big Deal with Erin King
April 29, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 54.2 MBToday I was joined in The Diner by Erin King, a badass with serious Big Deal Energy (tune into the episode for more about that). We kicked off the conversation talking about life in a big Irish family (we both used our best Irish accents) and Erin shared some wisdom from Nana: “You can be someone’s shot of whiskey or everyone’s cup of tea.” Okay, Nana! Erin shared about growing up at an all-girls school and what that did for her confidence and her love of being a woman, and how her experienc...
Beatboxing all the way to Broadway with World Champion Kaila Mullady
April 22, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 60.6 MBWhen a World Champion Beatboxer comes into the diner you turn the jukebox off and buckle up. That’s exactly what happened when Kaila Mullady slid into the booth with me. Since we are both Long Islanders we first reminisced about the beauty of diners and we ranted about bagels. Kaila then told me about her goal of conquering 30 fears before she is 30, and she decided she is starting with snakes. In asking about her childhood, she told a horrific story about a nightmare audition that changed e...
Why We Teach Others What We Need to Hear with Dr. Bryan McElderry
April 15, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 58.7 MBWhen I met Dr. Bryan McElderry in a Clubhouse room (that’s the new social media all the kids are into… and by kids, I mean grown-ass adults, the “kids” have no interest in the platform), I knew I needed to have him to The Diner. And I’m glad I did! We talked about his life growing up in Birmingham, Alabama and his days playing college golf. We touched on race in the sport of golf and the shifts that are beginning to happen to make it more inclusive. Then we talked about his time in pharmacy ...
What Happens When You Book a Dream Role with Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’s Lauren Adams
April 08, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 56.4 MBUnbreakable Kimmy Schmidt’s, Lauren Adams, slid into the diner booth with me this week! We kicked it off reminiscing about New York diners now that we have both moved. We poked the bear of New York vs. LA culture, too. Then we dove in and I asked when did the theater and being an actress become the dream. We discussed the musical theater program at Elon University and diving into the Upright Citizens Brigade improv scene after moving to New York. Both of us got some deeply personal improv no...
Making Friends as an Adult and When You feel Alone with Adam Smiley Poswolsky
April 01, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 62.5 MBI jumped into the diner booth with author and entrepreneur, Adam Smiley Poswolsky! His newest book, Friendship in the Age of Loneliness is coming out in May but before we got to that you know we had to talk about our late-night food preferences. He gave a shout-out to El Farolito in San Francisco and we also bonded over the fact that pineapple has no place on pizza. He then told me wow the nickname “Smiley” happened to him. We discussed his assorted dreams around being a writer and winding u...
What the Hulk has to do with being an Anti-Racist with Victoria Alexander
March 25, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 53.6 MBSoon-to-be Doctor, Victoria Alexander, jumped into the diner and dropped a whole bunch of knowledge about identity work and being anti-racist. This one got delightfully academic, but before we dove into all that we talked about Victoria’s preference of eating baklava and challah bread French toast at New York diners. Victoria told me about growing up with 7 siblings and what it feels like to to be the oldest. Her father told her at an early age “Success is what happens at the end of the race...
Choosing Authenticity on Social Media with Joyce Pring
March 18, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 45.2 MBJoyce Pring jumped into the diner all the way from Manila in the Philippines! She is a TV host and social media influencer who hosts the number one podcast in the Philippines, Adulting with Joyce Pring. We jumped in and talked about how much she loves eating cheesecake and coffee in the morning when she visits New York City. She also told me about her favorite late-night food move in Manila: Beef Pares. Joyce then told me about her childhood and being raised in a poor family while dreaming o...
Turning Up the Volume of Introverts with Amma Marfo
March 11, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 51.1 MBThis week, comedian, author, and educator Amma Marfo jumps into the diner booth with me! She has written three books, the first of which, The I’s Have It, is all about introverted leaders. Since I am a giant extrovert, I had some questions. We discussed assumptions that are often made about introverts and why introverts do not get the love they deserve. It was cool to hear when Amma became proud of her introversion. We also discussed the intersection of being a woman and a person of color wh...
Getting Men to Have Better Conversations with Tim Mousseau
March 04, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 72.4 MBTim Mousseau jumped into the diner with me and things got heated early. We tried to settle the age-old debate of which is better: pie or cake. I’m not sure if we got anywhere but hungry, but it was worth it. We then discussed Tim’s wonderful way with words and as a writer (see what I did there?). Along with painting with words, he himself is also “painted” with tattoos and I loved hearing about the origin of wanting to be almost completely covered. We then jumped into a powerful conversation...
Politicizing Therapy to Spark Real Healing with Dr. Jennifer Mullan
February 25, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 66.1 MBY’all, this week Dr. Jennifer Mullan, the founder of Decolonizing Therapy and great friend, slid into the diner booth with me. She and I worked together at New Jersey City University and became friends really quickly! We discussed late-night guilty pleasures, what we are currently watching, and then dove in! I loved learning how Astrology is woven into so many facets of Dr. Mullan’s fabric. We talked about getting into crystals, charts, and past lives…all of which were new to me. I then aske...
Financial Literacy and Dancing Geckos with Peter Bielagus
February 18, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 51.9 MBComing in hot to the diner this week is financial literacy expert and surprise fiction author, Peter Bielagus! I shared a pretty embarrassing story about a dancing geckos hoodie I bought that turned into a funny episode throughline. I asked Peter to tell us about how he went from being a money management speaker into a fiction author and it turned into quite an endearing moment about his childhood. I asked him, how do you jumpstart an old dream? He also shared about his brief career as a voi...
Reimagining education and leaving a legacy with Mr. Jeff Dess
February 11, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 68.8 MBMr. Jeff Dess, educator, author, speaker, and activist, joins me in the diner this week! We kicked things off with a proud discussion about proper New York diner ordering protocol. We then took a hard left and Jeff told me about the hidden curriculum in education and who it’s hurting. Where are the priorities in schools with poorer students? Discipline or education? We talked about when do people make the choice to give up on others, particularly educators. Jeff said something powerful when...
Raising 3 daughters as an imperfect man with Steve Whitby
February 04, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 51 MBStepping into the diner this week is my good friend and wedding officiant, Steve Whitby! We talked about being a Dad to three girls – and, spoiler, no he didn’t want a boy for the third one. It got a little deep when we discussed raising daughters as a man who knows he is flawed and has made bad choices. Then we shifted gears to talk about what happens when a job you love gets taken away from you and where you go from there. I loved how he discussed finding the beauty in the bitterness. We w...
Diving into our darkest fears with Darryl Bellamy Jr.
January 28, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 47.4 MBStepping into the diner this week is my man, Darryl Bellamy Jr. He is a fear researcher and an outrageous speaker. Before we got into that, Darryl and I debated the right way to eat grits. He then told me about an early entrepreneurial failure of his after college that left him sleeping on friends’ couches. Then he landed a good paying consulting gig... but that just was not it for him. Confidence is ultimately what kept him moving towards what he wanted to do, being a speaker. As a speaker ...
How fun is anxiety!? With cheese monger/actor Anne-Marie Pietersma
January 21, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 59.3 MBThis week Anne-Marie Pietersma, actor and cheese monger, joins me in the diner! We first talked about her experience with COVID-19 because losing your sense of taste as a cheese monger is probably not ideal. We compared east coast vs. west coast late night eating options and then jumped into Anne-Marie’s life. We started with her journey from going space camp to wanting to be a therapist to finally setting into acting. Anne-Marie was raised on a dairy farm and it was fascinating to learn how...
2 Men Swimming in Vulnerability with Don Fanelli
January 14, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 77.3 MBThis week in the diner I got to kick it with an old friend and improv buddy, Don Fanelli. This session was jam packed with personal development strategies, parenting insights, and the quick wit that you love to see from two comedians. We talked about the self-talk strategies that are useful in a creative field and life in general, and Don gave an honest take on the ups and downs of parenting. We talked about the importance of therapy, the vulnerability needed in forming adult relationships (...
Watch Your Mouth! Why language matters with Christina Parle
January 07, 2021 11:00 - 1 hour - 53.1 MBThis week in the diner I'm kickin' it with my friend, language enthusiast, and DEI speaker - Christina Parle. She hails from Kansas City, so you know we spent the opener expressing our love of BBQ. From there we jumped into learning about Christina's Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion work she does with organizations, and she takes the time to explain the language foundation that is necessary before diving into larger concepts within DEI. We then talked a lot about identity development, growin...
Getting out of your own way and connecting as men with Dan Faill
December 31, 2020 11:00 - 56 minutes - 41.9 MBDan Faill, educator, speaker, and great friend, joined me in the diner this episode. After the Top 3 Top 3 we reminisced about how Dan was my orientation leader in college and I was a homesick first year student. That jumped us into a conversation about friendship and the stories we tell ourselves when we long for connection and how do you learn who trust with your story. One of my biggest fears is being a burden to others and that impacts what we think we deserve. Dan and I bonded over how ...
The Role of Compassion and Authenticity in Business with Isaac Addae
December 24, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 51.9 MBThis week in the Diner, I’m joined by Isaac Addae – a proud Ghanaian-American, father, and business professor. Per usual, we kicked things off with discussion around late night eats and our love of chicken wings. After food, Isaac shared about his tribe in Ghana and the history and make up of African tribes. I have always been curious to learn more about tribes and appreciated having him teach me. Isaac then shared about his experience growing up in a bicultural environment and the friction ...
The Power of Self-Advocating as an Accommodator with Tara Fuller
December 17, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 44.3 MBThis episode, advocate, educator, and speaker Tara Fuller joined me in the diner. We jumped right in laughing and bonding over the joy of being accommodators. Tara has done some personal power work to try and shift that about herself and we learned about that by going down a delightfully random rabbit hole about chakras. As it turns out, I didn’t even know how to spell “chakras” let alone what they actually are! Through her internal work, Tara is trying to get better at advocating for hersel...
The Power of Interdependence with World Blind Golf Champion, Jeremy Poincenot
December 10, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 46 MBThis week, World Blind Golf Champion, Jeremy Poincenot stepped into the diner. Jeremy has an incredible story, he lost his site in his sophomore year in college and it was super powerful to hear him share the story about the mental stages he went through after becoming blind. When we experience trauma, those around us are often well-meaning but freqently say the wrong thing when trying to help. Jeremy shares a little about his experience with that and also shared one of the most powerful thi...
Wanting more of the addictive drug called Validation with Antonio Neves
December 03, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 56.9 MBMy man, Antonio Neves joined me in the booth this week! He is an author, host of The Best Thing podcast, internationally recognized speaker, and a success coach. We jumped in by Antonio discussing his current relationship with food and then we dove into life path. He told me about how he traded in a comfortable corporate job at Kraft for couch surfing in NYC with a small amount of money to follow his dreams of being on television. He and I bonded over the beautiful yet addictive drug called ...
Is social media connecting us or dividing us more? With Dr. Josie Ahlquist
November 26, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 53.3 MBThis week I am joined in the Diner by social media expert, Dr. Josie Ahlquist! We kicked it off by randomly talking about Josie’s high school dating life. We then discussed her huge transition moving from Wyoming and South Dakota to Los Angeles, what some of the values she missed were and new ones she appreciated. Josie and I then bonded over dealing with imposter syndrome when when writing a book and how much better she is at asking for help than I am. Speaking of books, we got to hear all ...
Comedy is a Survival Mechanism with Douglas Widick
November 19, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 50.9 MBDouglas Widick, hysterical actor, music producer and improviser, joins me in the diner this week! Fun fact, he created the theme song for Diner Talks with James and he and I are the co-owners of the internationally known hip-hop improv comedy team, North Coast. We kicked off our convo discussing the beginnings of our friendship, North Coast, and, naturally, Doug’s diner prowess. We then talked about the delicate dance that is being great friends who go into business together. I then switched...
Why Black Women are Invisible with Sara Lowery
November 12, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 56.2 MBSara Lowery hopped into the diner with me for this episode and it was enlightening, to say the least. Before we dove into deeper topics we first had to debate about the correct way to to order Waffle House hashbrowns and grits. Then we jumped in the deep end of the pool when I asked Sara, “As a Black women, how are you doing in 2020?” Sara tought me about how Black women have always been and still are invisible in society. We talked about how even this year George Floyd had to die so we even...
Pregnancy loss and powerful parenting with my wife, Tina VanSteenbergen!
November 05, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 59.3 MBThis week’s diner guest is my favorite human, because it’s my wife - Tina VanSteenbergen Robilotta!!! We kicked off the conversation learning about Tina’s love of bourbon and bubbly water then we dove off deep end. Tina told me about why being a mother is something she has always wanted to do. We discussed the way our parents influenced us in known and unknown ways. Tina and I then discussed our devastating experience with pregnancy loss in the second trimester. She then discussed dealing wi...
Processing the fall out of a million dollar business with Tom Krieglstein
October 29, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 45.3 MBTom Krieglstein became my first guest to actually eat while he was in the diner! Since he was munching on a veggie pizaa, we started by chatting about the impact The Simpsons had on Tom’s dietary choices. We then dove into Tom’s passion of creating a culture of connection. He told me about his chase for the Guiness World Record for hugging and we let the roll into a great talk about where Tom’s passion for connecting others stemmed from. Tom then opened up and processed the failure of a mill...
Confronting an absent father with curiousity with Justin Jones-Fosu
October 22, 2020 11:00 - 49 minutes - 36.4 MBJustin Jones-Fosu jumped joyfully into the Diner this (j)episode. We kicked it off commiserating about how to grieve what you miss in quarantine/Covid-19 times and what it’s like parenting in this madness. Justin then spoke about the importance of involving your kids in their growth and learning plan. We then shifted gears and Justin opened up to me about his life-changing trip to Ghana in 2018. On the trip, he confronted his absent father but he did it using a surprising approach: curiosity...
Being in Your Underwear in Times Square with Stacy Nadeau
October 15, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 53.8 MBJoining me this episode in the Diner is body image expert, coach, speaker, and badass mom, Stacy Nadeau! She and I first discuss why she was in her underwear in Times Square and the journey to being comfortable in your body for men and women. We then chatted about ways to silence our inner critic. Stacy is new-ish parent so I wanted to hear about telling yourself stories as a parent and being a brand new mom and being an entrepreneur. We ended with an eye-opening convo about why we should no...
Being Latina While Black Lives Matter with Cristina Perez-Simmons
October 08, 2020 11:00 - 1 hour - 51.8 MBCristina Perez-Simmons and I kicked in the diner this episode. She told me what life as a coffee snob is like and the importance of buying fair trade. We then talked about her move away from California and shifting from a Latinx community to a predominantly white community in the southeast. She told me about working to reclaiming heritage and identity after years of shying away from it. I also asked her about being Latinx during the Black Lives Matter movement. Then we got personal and dove ...
Is being famous a good goal? With Lloyd Ahlquist
October 02, 2020 11:15 - 1 hour - 61.1 MBEpicLLOYD Ahlquist of Epic Rap Battles of History joined me in the diner booth this week! We talked about his gymnast background and then the skill it takes to play a great antagonist. Then we talked about making the decision to publicly do what is right and figuring out when you make the choice to double-down or pivot in a creative business. We closed with a deep convo about what does being famous mean and is it a worthy pursuit? About the Guest: Lloyd Ahlquist is an actor, improviser, r...
Falling in love with being Black with Rick Daniels
October 02, 2020 11:10 - 1 hour - 67.3 MBRick Daniels dropped all of the knowledge in this episode. He and I recorded this the week that George Floyd was murdered in Minneapolis so you already know that we had a lot to talk about. We discussed parenting in the middle of a powerful moment for civil rights and instilling a love of identity in children. I asked him, “When did you fall in love with your blackness?” and he talked about loving your blackness while still loving everyone else. We then dove into teaching the realities of hi...
Competing ambitions in relationships and trust building with Jess Ekstrom
October 02, 2020 11:05 - 1 hour - 54.3 MBI got to sit down with entrepreneur, speaker, and great friend Jess Ekstrom and we jumped right in with their decision to sell their apartment and move into an Airstream. Hearing about her relationship and having different ambitions as a partner and how to communicate about it was awesome. I asked her where do you develop a stick-to-itiveness nature with bring ideas to life. Then we chatted about branding yourself while wanting to still be yourself and how do you know when you can turn aroun...
Winning in business while failing at love with Sam Davidson
October 02, 2020 11:00 - 38 minutes - 28.4 MBSam and I had a powerful conversation about relationships, fatherhood, and entrepreneurship. We discussed becoming a father in the middle of the most successful month ever as an entrepreneur. And how you need to your network before you need it. We debated being Type A vs. being a hot mess... guess which one I am! We wrapped up discussing winning in business while failing at love and the role divorce plays in personal development. About the Guest: Sam Davidson is a 4-time entrepreneur ba...
Welcome to Diner Talks with James!
September 30, 2020 11:00 - 8 minutes - 5.9 MBFriends! Welcome to the first episode of Diner Talks with James! In this episode I introduce the why, who, and what behind this podcast. I also make myself laugh a little because the internet is a quiet place when you’re talking to no one, haha! Excited to have you on this journey with me! About the Host: Friends! Here's a somewhat stuffy bio of me: I am an author, professional speaker, coach, host, and entrepreneur. My first book, Leading Imperfectly: The value of being authentic...