Episode 76: The Destruction of Perfectionism, Parenting + Divorce

Jagdeep dives right in to share some integral parts of her life that gave her a wakeup call to pivot and take charge of her life in a different way. She delves into the perfectionism within her and how this impacted her ability to parent as she started to see how controlling it was on external parts of her life. She examines the damage that perfectionism had on her marriage, and expressed feeling she was destroying her life unknowingly and putting herself to feel unnecessary grief. Jagdeep converses about her process in uncovering unconscious choices she was making and looking at what habits were passed down to her. It wasn’t until Jagdeep had a mini stoke that she encountered her lightbulb moment of recognizing a change was needed. While she was in the thick of her journey, she faced her marriage falling apart, she learned to let go of the ‘picture perfect life’ she worked hard to carry on the outside view of how other’s saw her life, and reflected on what she was modelling for her children and what she wanted to model for them instead. Jagdeep dealt with competing thoughts of feeling like a failure, feeling that she had put her family to shame, self-blame and self- critical, and getting to a point where she had to chunk her day into small parts so that she could focus, function, and survive with demands of her life. Her key message to the listeners is that: it’s not all on you, you are not in control over everything, and you’re not supposed to be; the world doesn’t have to be on your shoulders, free yourself; take responsibility for what you are accountable to; when you recognize you are not in control of everything – start to accept it.