Episode 72: Translating the father wound into new meaning for his own children

Johnny takes us through his journey where he describes the difficulties in growing up without a father and the impact it caused to hunger for acceptance in all other facets of his life. Johnny elaborates on his journey, speaking about the lessons he learned from the absence of a father figure and how he drew from his own difficult experience and committed to giving his children fully what he was deprived of growing up. Johnny talks about feeling emotional emptiness, which led him down a path of drugs and alcohol, feeling abandoned and not evening knowing it at times, and battling through narratives stemming from questioning his own worth and questioning is abilities and capabilities. Johnny relied heavily on external validation, struggled with his own identity, and even contemplated suicide at some point. He shared that no one knew about the inner turmoil he experienced, expressing that he had a yearning for missing and wanting a ‘dad’ in his life. Johnny shared his new identity naturally developed when he finally was able to meet his self, he was stable, found a way to be his own self and claim who he was with the support of who is his wife today. When he truly felt accepted and safe, he was able to choose himself and understood the importance to care for himself. His big moment was when his first son was born, that moment in the hospital, connected for Johnny missing ingredients in his life and what was most important for him. His key message to the listeners is that: learn your value, otherwise others will get you at a discount – they will devalue you and you will too; learn who you are and surround yourself with mentors that can guide you to do things better; learn healthy boundaries; get counsel and therapy; you are more than what you’ve become.