From code to compassion: how to use Nonviolent Communication to elevate cybersecurity

The blame game is a strong reflex in cybersecurity for many people. Pointing fingers at the human error that caused the breach, complaining about the CEO who didn't invest enough resources or training in cybersecurity, and taking it out on the CISO are all common occurrences. And they don’t help anyone. 

Blaming harms everything that empathy in cybersecurity represents and works so hard to change in the industry: connection, trust, personal growth, and making meaningful progress.

But there’s hope! One of the most powerful solutions, actually born out of an empathetic approach to human connection: Nonviolent Communication. 

Today’s guest, Octavian Istrate, explains how this technique can end the blame game, change perspectives, and get people to open up. 

Octavian is a Certified Trainer with the US Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) and a dedicated Association for Nonviolent Communication (ACNV) member. He discovered Nonviolent Communication in 2010, and 7 years into applying it to his personal life, he decided to share it with others through courses, workshops, and practice groups. In 2019, he became a Certified Trainer and turned his passion into a core part of his work. 

In this episode, we explore how Nonviolent Communication contributes to developing empathy in cybersecurity, what makes it a powerful tool for personal growth, and how it helps build healthier relationships. 

You'll hear Octavian's thoughts on emotional needs in the workplace, what drew him towards Nonviolent Communication, and how to use this approach to manage difficult situations. 

Additionally, Octavian talks about the changes he experienced as someone coming from a technical background, empathy blockers, and how he ended up becoming a change strategist. We even go through a real-life exercise on how to apply Nonviolent Communication!

Listen to this episode to learn:

How Nonviolent Communication can remove blame from cybersecurity conversations and behaviors (4:10)What was going on in Octavian’s life when he learned about Nonviolent Communication (11:00)How to separate observation from judgment (14:20)What made Octavian decide to become a Nonviolent Communication trainer (28:00)A real-life exercise on Nonviolent Communication (37:50)How empathy blockers affect communication (48:20)

Resources from this episode:

Book: Marshall B. Rosenberg - Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)Center for Nonviolent Communication's websiteEmpathy Blockers

Connect with Octavian:

Octavian’s website (Romanian)Octavian as a change strategist (Romanian)

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