Episode 64: Emotional Neglect, Success, Striving, & What Our Society Gets Wrong About Happiness

This week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser was inspired by a listener email Tracey and Cayly received following the tragic deaths of both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain last week. Given the outward success both of these public figures had achieved and the fact they both took their own lives, our listener wanted to know our thoughts on the following questions:

1. What is happiness?

and

2. What are we ultimately striving for?

For this conversation, Tracey and Cayly used these questions as a jumping off point to have a larger discussion about mental health, depression, happiness, success, emotional neglect, and so much more. They talk about the normalcy of having dark thoughts, the stigma around getting help for mental health struggles, the importance of connection, and why they believe that our purpose on this earth is not to be happy — although our society often sends the message that this is what we should be striving for in our lives.

Enjoy this conversation and please feel free to send Tracey and Cayly your thoughts by emailing them at [email protected]. If you’re enjoying the show, please also consider leaving a review or 5-star rating in iTunes. It takes two minutes and would be greatly appreciated.

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Resources mentioned in the episode:

- Running on Empty (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009VJ4B4C/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1/) & Running on Empty No More (https://www.amazon.com/Running-Empty-More-Transform-Relationships/dp/1683506731/) by Jonice Webb, PhD (http://drjonicewebb.com/)

- Dr. Dan Siegel (http://www.drdansiegel.com/)

- Braving the Wilderness by Brene (https://www.amazon.com/Braving-Wilderness-quest-belonging-courage/dp/1785041754/)

- The Soul in Depression on On Being (https://onbeing.org/programs/the-soul-in-depression-mar2018/)

- Episode 57 on drama triangle (http://organicacupunctureportland.com/curious-curiouser-podcast-episode-57-unhealthy-relationship-dynamics-recognize-youre-playing-victim-rescuer-persecutor/)

- Episode 25 on Spirituality (http://organicacupunctureportland.com/curious-curiouser-podcast-episode-25-spirituality-god-how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-death/)

- Episode 18 on negative emotions (http://organicacupunctureportland.com/curious-curiouser-podcast-episode-18-breakup-breakdown-bad-emotions/)

- Cayly’s IG post on good vibes (https://www.instagram.com/p/BjvhJjqhpjI/?taken-by=cayly.c)

- Lost Connections:  Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and the Unexpected Solutions by Johann Hari (https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected/dp/1632868318/)

- Statistics on suicide (https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/06/07/617897261/cdc-u-s-suicide-rates-have-climbed-dramatically) (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/09/us/suicide-rates-increasing-bourdain.html)

- Polyvagal Theory (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyvagal_theory)

- Hakomi (http://hakomiinstitute.com/ ) and Somatic Experiencing (https://traumahealing.org/)