Episode 63: Energy Leaks, Relinquishing Control, & Staying in Your Sphere of Influence

This week’s episode is about all the ways we leak energy in our lives by trying to control things over which we don’t actually have control. Tracey and Cayly are talking about what this looks like for them and asking the question:  What happens when we try to reach outside our sphere of influence?

They are offering advice on how to stop leaking energy in this way and discussing specific examples from their own lives. They explore the tendency towards trying to control our partners in romantic relationships, our kids, and even our friends. This includes a conversation about unspoken expectations and feeling overly responsible for other people in our lives, particularly as healthcare providers.

Tracey and Cayly hope you enjoy this episode and find it useful!

As always, please consider leaving a review or 5-star rating in iTunes if you love the episode. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate it!

Highlights from the show:

- What’s your sphere of influence?

- Energy leaks

- Trying to control our romantic partners and their behaviors

- Trying to control our children and/or our parents (when we’re adult children)

- Where are Tracey and Cayly currently leaking energy and how do we plug these leaks in our own lives?

- Episode 57 on the drama triangle (http://organicacupunctureportland.com/curious-curiouser-podcast-episode-57-unhealthy-relationship-dynamics-recognize-youre-playing-victim-rescuer-persecutor/)

- Is anything possible for anyone?

- Relinquishing control to the universe

- How Tracey leaks energy worrying about her son’s academic career?

- What it feels like when someone is trying to control your behavior? The pain of unspoken expectations

- John Gottman and gridlock problems in relationships (https://www.gottman.com/)

- Dan Savage and the admission price of relationships (https://www.thestranger.com/authors/259/dan-savage)

- Why we shouldn’t enter into a relationship believing we are going to change our partners

- Energy leaks as a healthcare practitioner and not feeling overly responsible for the health of our patients/clients

- Elizabeth Gilbert on not telling your story to help people (https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7304643-you-re-not-required-to-save-the-world-with-your-creativity)

- Why it’s okay if people don’t like you

- Control and anxiety

- Reteaching our nervous systems how to relax and the habit of worrying (https://www.instagram.com/p/BjXzNpVhacP/?taken-by=cayly.c)

- Comfortable discomfort

- And more!

Piquing Our Curiosity:

Betsy & Iya (https://betsyandiya.com/), a local Portland jewelry maker with a beautiful shop in NW Portland that also features a variety of home goods and accessories from other independent designers. I love this place, especially for the beautiful handcrafted earrings, of which I own multiple pairs. I highly recommend checking them out online here (https://betsyandiya.com/) or in person on NW Thurman in Portland, Oregon (https://www.yelp.com/biz/betsy-and-iya-portland).