Close Talkers

Episode 76 - The Dinner Party

April 13, 2023 13:00 - 38 minutes - 31.2 MB

Katy wants to know why she wasn't invited to the wine enemas, Derek tells everyone in Cuba he loves them, and the gang doesn't go to a dinner party.

Episode 75 - The Stall

April 06, 2023 13:00 - 37 minutes - 30.3 MB

There's more than one exploding whale video you need to see, we debunk the climbing accident and discuss the tortilla continuum.

Episode 74 - The Conversion

March 30, 2023 13:00 - 32 minutes - 25.9 MB

It is a hard G or a soft G? Are those the ones that go around mutilating squirrels? Do you peek in the cabinet? Derek will if it's obvious, Katy will if you're weird.

Episode 73 - The Cigar Store

March 23, 2023 13:00 - 34 minutes - 27.5 MB

We talk speech recognition again, reminisce about giving away furniture, and like the George storyline of this iffy episode.

Episode 72 - The Masseuse

March 16, 2023 13:00 - 21 minutes - 17.7 MB

Jerry is a terrible person, Elaine loves OJ and we're still chatting about chatbots.

Episode 71 - The Barber

March 09, 2023 13:00 - 32 minutes - 26 MB

We discover the true origin of the Super Mario Brothers, and get a robot to rank Seinfeld, while Jerry tries to cheat on his barber.

Episode 70 - The Non-Fat Yoghurt

March 02, 2023 13:00 - 24 minutes - 19.5 MB

This time Katy's mic is off, but we still nail it. Derek mentions an outtake and never delivers, and claims he can eat a whole onion, fast.

Episode 69 - The Lip Reader

February 23, 2023 13:00 - 28 minutes - 23.1 MB

We're not playing egg badminton here, we're discussing party etiquette. George eats a sundae.

Episode 68 - The Bris

February 16, 2023 13:00 - 31 minutes - 25.7 MB

We cut so much of this episode out, you might say it was bris'd.

Episode 67 - The Sniffing Accountant

February 09, 2023 13:00 - 37 minutes - 30 MB

Here's to feeling good all the time. Katy tries out her Mandarin and then promptly loses her voice. Derek tells an incredible bar story.

Episode 66 - The Glasses

February 02, 2023 13:00 - 29 minutes - 24 MB

Derek and Katy recount stories of their eighth grade school trips because anything is more interesting than this Seinfeld episode about glasses.

Episode 65 - The Puffy Shirt

January 26, 2023 13:00 - 25 minutes - 20.3 MB

Gaseous bologna, bananas in jello, and a shirt that was the third funniest thing in this episode.

Episode 64 - The Mango

January 19, 2023 13:00 - 24 minutes - 19.8 MB

Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about mangoes please, let's talk about all the faking and the plantains that may be.

Episode 63 - Bonus Episode - Festivus

December 31, 2022 13:00 - 35 minutes - 28.4 MB

It's a festivus miracle, a bonus episode! Warning: this episode contains lots of misophonic ASMR stuff, so beware.

Episode 62 - The Pilot I and II

December 22, 2022 13:00 - 35 minutes - 28.7 MB

Raisins are different. Gorp is not to be shared. And how much loving DOES a normal couple need? Jerry and George's pilot is shot and killed.

Episode 61 - The Handicap Spot

December 15, 2022 13:00 - 34 minutes - 27.8 MB

We embrace the beauty of silence as Derek tries to recall a classic tale and we draw triangles. Caution for kids listening in, we say "bitches" a bunch of times.

Episode 60 - The Smelly Car

December 01, 2022 13:00 - 30 minutes - 24.5 MB

We debate the merits of white wine, exotic fruits and just a bit about this so-so episode.

Episode 59 - The Junior Mint

November 24, 2022 13:00 - 29 minutes - 23.8 MB

Jerry never considers the name Regina. Katy remembers a time when you'd be flipping channels it would just be guts. Cam talks yoyos.

Episode 58 - The Implant

November 17, 2022 13:00 - 24 minutes - 20.1 MB

Our hubris in claiming we are perfect comes back to bite us as Derek's microphone dies while we discuss fake boobs.

Episode 57 - The Old Man

November 10, 2022 13:00 - 29 minutes - 23.4 MB

Jerry, George and Elaine all do the same job for a single day, and Vulture.com lose their minds over it.

Episode 56 - The Outing

November 03, 2022 13:00 - 27 minutes - 21.9 MB

Can you get outed if you were never in? We weigh in on this controversial episode, but mostly just rate the world leader anti-hunks.

Episode 55 - The Shoes

October 27, 2022 13:00 - 33 minutes - 26.9 MB

We debate what terrible things might have happened to our food, and Derek has lots to say about cleavage.

Episode 54 - The Visa

October 20, 2022 13:00 - 27 minutes - 21.9 MB

Derek makes up for last week with a Werner Herzog impression. We discuss whether passing along mail for a previous resident is worth it. George's date was going to help everyone and he blows it.

Episode 53 - The Movie

October 13, 2022 22:00 - 28 minutes - 22.6 MB

Did Derek record this episode from inside a garbage can? No, he just turned off his mic before we started. The gang tries to see a movie together.

Episode 52 - The Pick

October 06, 2022 13:00 - 32 minutes - 26.1 MB

Jerry and Elaine deal with duelling embarassments, George wins back Susan with penicillin and we say penis another 9 times.

Episode 51 - The Airport

September 29, 2022 13:00 - 35 minutes - 28.9 MB

Jerry ditches Elaine in coach, it's a good Kramer dialogue episode and Derek makes Katy feel bad for Hulk Hogan.

Episode 50 - The Contest LIVE!

September 23, 2022 13:00 - 47 minutes - 37.9 MB

Glamour?! A very special Episode 50 is out! Derek and Katy go live on YouTube in a special extra-long episode about the best sitcom episode of all time.

Episode 49 - The Virgin

September 15, 2022 13:00 - 33 minutes - 27.2 MB

We google a great many things about Seinfeld's The Virgin but we swear it's not boring to listen to.

Live Show Promo

September 12, 2022 13:00 - 2 minutes - 1.92 MB

Mark your calendars with a big red star! Wednesday, September 21 at 9pm EST we go live on YouTube to talk closely about The Contest! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7q38AKwGsKT0bHV6sSb6ZA

Episode 48 - The Opera

September 08, 2022 13:00 - 34 minutes - 28 MB

We have a lot of laughs talking about this dark Seinfeld episode about the opera, and tease something very special for episode 50.

Episode 47 - The Cheever Letters

September 01, 2022 13:00 - 32 minutes - 25.8 MB

In this episode, there are five storylines but we just talk pens, paper and panties.

Episode 46 - The Bubble Boy

August 25, 2022 13:00 - 27 minutes - 22.2 MB

We dive deep into voicemail, Derek calls out attached earlobes, and we only like Smarmy Confident George if he's directing it at a jerk.

Episode 45 - The Watch

August 18, 2022 13:00 - 23 minutes - 18.7 MB

Elaine sings with a stranger, George begs, Jerry bargains, and we bask in the glory of Beyond Belief.

Episode 44 - The Wallet

August 11, 2022 13:00 - 27 minutes - 22.1 MB

Derek reveals a deep, dark secret, and has never been more disgusted with George.

Episode 43 - The Pitch/The Ticket

August 04, 2022 13:00 - 38 minutes - 30.7 MB

Is The Pitch/The Ticket a good episode? How do you wipe with corn cobs? Can you recover from vomiting on someone?

Episode 42 - The Trip I and II

July 28, 2022 13:00 - 43 minutes - 34.7 MB

This episode is a trip, which is neither dark nor funny (Seinfeld's, not ours).

Episode 41 - Bonus Episode

July 24, 2022 13:00 - 28 minutes - 22.9 MB

We screwed up so much, here's a full bonus episode of corrections!

Episode 40 - The Keys

July 21, 2022 13:00 - 28 minutes - 22.9 MB

Key brothers share a sacred bond. We discuss bones, planes, Murphy Brown and other things we have no business talking about.

Episode 39 - The Parking Space

July 14, 2022 13:00 - 33 minutes - 26.6 MB

Katy was going to parallel park head first but thought better of it. Derek makes us all wait while he sets up a sick burn. George fights over a parking spot.

Episode 38 - The Letter

July 07, 2022 13:00 - 31 minutes - 25.1 MB

Welcome to Art Talk, our new podcast about art. Someone will have to explain it to George, and then explain the explanation.

Episode 37 - The Good Samaritan

June 30, 2022 13:00 - 31 minutes - 25.5 MB

Jerry ends up dating a sociopath who sideswiped a car. George has an affair with a sociopath's wife. Derek and Katy try to figure out some geography with the help of an old tune.

Episode 36 - The Limo

June 23, 2022 13:00 - 30 minutes - 24.5 MB

We're back with a regular episode! George's car breaks down on his way to pick up Jerry, and they masquerade as O'Brien and Murphy with unexpected results.

Episode 35 - Mini Episode

June 16, 2022 13:00 - 2 minutes - 1.85 MB

Derek records a solo mini episode, and makes Katy listen to a monologue a dozen times. Back to regular episodes next week.

Episode 34 - The Boy Friend

June 02, 2022 13:00 - 40 minutes - 32.7 MB

We attempt to solve the age-old question that nobody has asked, "If you plug an old phone into a landline jack with no home phone service, can you still call 911?" And then some stuff about Keith Hernandez, unemployment, spitting on Newman, Elaine and jealousy, moving furniture, and a tall woman.

Episodes