Clamshell Case Files
103 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 6 ratingsWe rewatch partially forgotten movies from our youth that, for better or worse, made us who we are. Most of the movies will be from the 80's and early-mid 90's, but some other decades will end up in there as well.
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
052 - Explorers (1985)
February 24, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 74.4 MBDid you want to be an astronaut when you were a kid? Did you dream of building your own spaceship out of used carnival parts? Did you wish you could share an airtight bubble with River Phoenix and Ethan Hawke in the cold depths of space? Did you fantasize about making out with large, green aliens with weirdly human lips? No? So, just us then? Oh well, you should listen to this episode where we talk about Joe Dante’s Explorers anyway. There may even be some appearances by some Clamshell Case f...
051 - The Net (1995)
February 17, 2020 13:00 - 2 hours - 103 MBCybersecurity expert Angela Bennet (America’s Actual Sweetheart Sandra Bullock) was minding her own business, ordering a digital slice from pizza.net and just finding a few bugs in Wolfenstein 3D when she discovered the site for Mozart’s Ghost (if you haven’t heard, they’re the hottest band on the internet). She had no idea it would lead to a group of evil hackers stealing her life and sending her into the arms of Dennis Miller (a fate worse than death, really). The most shocking thing? Our l...
050 - Weird Science (1985)
February 10, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 73.4 MBThis past year brought some serious discussions about ethics in science, when a group of researchers claimed to have created the first gene-edited, CRISPR baby. But where was the scientific community 25 years ago, when a young Gary and Wyatt hacked a government computer system, scanned in some nudie pics, and Frankensteined an older woman with magic lightning powers into existence. All this and inappropriate touching, as we talk about the John Hughes comedy Weird Science.
049 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
February 03, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 94.3 MBJarrod Staples joins us again, this time not to recount a near tragedy but to talk turtles, of the teenage and mutant variety. Who wouldn’t be inspired by four giant foam latex suits that eat pizza, carry around deadly weapons, hang out in the sewers and say “damn” a lot?
048 - Big Top Pee-Wee (1988)
January 27, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 63.5 MBDid you like Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure and Pee-Wee’s Playhouse? Well, get ready for a movie that’s nothing like either of those things, as entitled man-child Pee-Wee Herman joins the circus, cheats on his fiancée, demands immediate sandwiches, grows hot dogs on a tree and eats bacon in front of his sapient pig friend. Oh, Benicio Del Toro plays a “dog boy” and Kris Kristofferson is a wise and kind Ringmaster? And there is a lot of implied sex? This movie is...something else.
047 - Untamed Heart (1993)
January 20, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 82.4 MBContent Warning: This movie has an intense attempted sexual assault that we talk about throughout the episode. It’s the story of a girl (Marisa Tomei) who is unlucky in love, is a die-hard Minnesota North Stars fan in 1993 and falls for a boy (Christian Slater) with a heart defect. I assume everything is going to work out for the best here, isn’t it? If you’re a fan of incredibly awkward silences, inappropriate touching, stalking, hockey, and cigarettes, then you’re listening to the right po...
046 - Flatliners (1990)
January 13, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 83.8 MBIt’s Monday morning so you know what that means... it’s a good day to die! Also, the newest episode of Clamshell Case Files! This week, do you want to watch beautiful people kill themselves only to be brought back to life over and over just to get a hit of that hot new club drug... DEATH? Well check out Keifer Sutherland, Julia Roberts, Kevin Bacon, Billy Baldwin and Oliver Platt in Flatliners with us!
045 - Surviving the Game (1994)
January 06, 2020 13:00 - 1 hour - 82.6 MBThe year is 1994. Homelessness in Seattle is on the rise and a group of Academy Award, Emmy and Golden Globe winners and nominees convene in the woods to hunt the most dangerous game... Ice-T! Rutger Hauer, Charles S. Dutton, F. Murray Abraham and John C. McGuinley all show up and do what they can in this insane adaptation of The Most Dangerous Game. Come for the hunt, stay for the tale of Prince Henry Stout.
044 - The Three Musketeers (1993)
December 30, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 88.8 MBWe’re closing the book on 2019 in style, by introducing a brand-new meter to the podcast. This week, Bridget talks about the very special feelings she has about Disney’s adaptation of The Three Musketeers. This episode has it all. Swashbuckling (kind of)! Romance (kind of)! Tim Curry (definitely)! Celebrity stalking! Bridget having a complete breakdown! Say hello to 2020 with some of your favorite friends, like...Mopey? And Poncho?
043 - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
December 23, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 58.1 MBYou know Dasher and Dancer and etc., etc. But do you recall, the time when Santa was a self-obsessed slave driver concerned only with outer beauty? Of course you do, because it’s the plot of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, that Rankin/Bass holiday classic that has reinforced gender stereotypes and bizarrely sadistic dental practices for generations! There’s a lot to dig into for the crew this week, so join them as they talk about North Pole labor practices, the ethical implications of Reindee...
042 - Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)
December 16, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 85.4 MBEveryone knows the story of Santa Claus. The kind, old toymaker who dies and is resurrected by a band of all-male, sensual elves, who enslave the old man and force him to work unceasingly for centuries. Well, that’s what we thought Santa Claus: The Movie was about, anyway. That’s without getting into a homeless street scamp, the evil toymaker under congressional pressure to clean up his act and the North Pole drug trade. You will believe Nannies can fly...on dust.
041 - The Seventh Sign (1989)
December 09, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 83 MBHere at Clamshell Case Files, we have a loose definition of “Holiday Movie.” While The Seventh Sign isn’t about the birth of Jesus, he is the “reason for the season.” And he certainly, kind of, sort of appears in this “film”, along with Demi Moore and Michael Beihn. In true holiday movie fashion, this one irrevocably scarred Bridget. The Guf (Duff?) floweth over this episode!
040 - Jingle All the Way (1996)
December 02, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 74.2 MBDeadbeat dads, the stars of all manner of 90s entertainment, take center stage this week in the holiday nightmare, Jingle All the Way, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. Questionable parenting? Mail bombs? Illegal underground Santa’s workshop full of hot toys? Twin Cities housewives so desperate that Phil Hartman has become some kind of suburban Lothario? Join us to find out which one of these things will ruin Christmas (it’s got to be mail bombs, right?).
039 - The Brave Little Toaster (1987)
November 25, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 68.2 MBThis week, Old Men Yell at Cloud co-host Jim Schultz joins the crew to talk about an animated film with a questionable caste system for anthropomorphized household objects. It’s the Brave Little Toaster! Did you think we were talking about that other animated franchise about inanimate objects that come to life? Come on, that franchise has THREE successful sequels. We’re only here to talk about the franchise with TWO straight-to-home video sequels that Matt almost accidentally rented instead o...
038 - The Running Man (1987)
November 18, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 71.7 MBAre you ready for the number one television show in the whole wide world? That’s right, the year is 2019, the country is falling apart, and it’s time for it’s The Running Man, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, María Conchita Alonso, and Richard Dawson. Who could imagine a world where the police murder innocent civilians, the most famous person in the world is a game show host and the president has an agent? Oh…
037 - SpaceCamp (1986)
November 11, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 83.2 MBThis week, a group of 20-something high schoolers and a future clown prince of crime are sent hurtling into space by an overpriced robot. It’s SpaceCamp! Released just months after the Challenger disaster, it bombed at the box office. But that didn’t stop it from traumatizing Bridget. Are you ready to be a friend...for-ev-errrrrrr?
036 - Midnight Madness (1980)
November 04, 2019 13:00 - 1 hour - 92.9 MBThis week, Midnight Madness starts to get to you. It doesn’t matter what you say. It doesn’t matter what you do. Midnight Madness is... inevitable. You cannot ignore the unwanted child Disney kept in the vault. Even Michael J. Fox’s first film role couldn’t save this film from relative obscurity. But dear listeners, come play a brand new game with us... that’s really not a new game at all, it’s... just a poorly designed scavenger hunt.
035 - Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
October 28, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 72.3 MBHave you ever looked at a clown and thought, “Yes. Behind that white makeup is just a conscienceless killer looking to turn me into cotton candy and feast on my gooey innards?” Well do we have the movie that confirms your greatest fears...with laughter! The Chiodo Brothers kult klassic, Killer Klowns from Outer Space! The crew talks about the bad acting and wonderful effects in this movie from Matt and Quintin’s childhood.
034 - The Haunting (1963)
October 21, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 87.3 MBThis week, we venture into the dark heart of New England and enter Hill House to talk about the 1963 Robert Wise horror classic, The Haunting. Does the crew have the preternatural skills to solve what is vexing Eleanor, Dr. Markway, and the rest of the cast? Join #TeamTheo and find out!
033 - Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
October 14, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 78.4 MBNow it’s time for Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween! Now it’s time for Halloween’s dis-liked se-quel! That’s right kids! It’s time, time for Clamshell Case Files to talk about Halloween III: Season of the Witch. The Halloween sequel that didn’t feature Michael Myers and was instead about killer latex masks. So put on your mask and plug in your earbuds and listen! Listen! Liiiiiiisssssteeeeeeen!
032 - Invaders from Mars (1986)
October 07, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 71.3 MBWhat does life on other planets look like? Is it unimaginable, because it would have developed in such drastically different circumstances than on Earth? Or would it look like a bunch of dongs coming out of some lady bits, with an unquenchable thirst for copper? Well this week, Invaders from Mars conclusively proves the latter! It’s a film for anyone who had a crush on their school nurse, or looked at Krang (from the Ninja Turtles) and thought, “Yeah...this guy f***s!” Join us in Bud Court as...
031 - Darby O’Gill and the Little People (1959)
September 30, 2019 14:33 - 1 hour - 70.3 MBThis week, grab your dear and darling one and listen for the music of the bells as the crew takes a trip to rural Ireland! Bridget breaks out a frightening tale of love, leprechauns, and the banshee who just won’t leave them alone. It’s Darby O’Gill and the Little People, starring Sean Connery as not-actually-Darby-oh-he’s-just-the-co-star(?) and a bunch of leprechauns without screen credits (because it’d ruin the magic... and cost Walt Disney some of that precious leprechaun coin).
030 - Hackers (1995) - Part 2
September 23, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 62.6 MBWe’re back again with Fidget Creative’s John Crawford, as he digs into why Hackers inspired him to not now, nor ever, become a hacker. So hack the Gibson to hear us talk about the film’s thrilling conclusion, how the film inspired a generation of engineers and as we try to figure out dress-wearing logistics.
029 - Hackers (1995) - Part 1
September 16, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 69.6 MBFidget Creative’s John Crawford, a man who is not now nor has never been a hacker, joins us to talk about the most inspiring movie of his youth: Hackers! The sensationalized (yet surprisingly grounded) story of hacking whiz kid Dade Murphy (Johnny Lee Miller), watch as he tries to win the affection of fellow hacker Kate (Angelina Jolie), and social engineers his way through his hardest hack yet: high school.
028 - How I Got into College (1989)
September 09, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 82.7 MBAn underachieving, obsessive stalker needs to convince an audience that he’s not a complete screw up in 86-minutes. If Underachiever creeps on Lara Flynn Boyle, spends his entire tuition fund on advice from Nora Dunn and Phil Hartmann, eats food off Anthony Edwards plate and makes Charles Rocket angry, how many Tichina Arnolds will get in college? The answer to this stress question and more in this week’s episode!
027 - Prince of Darkness (1987)
September 02, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 82.6 MBSo a priest, a pseudo-physicist, and a bunch of middle-aged grad students walk into a church... it’s John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness! Join the crew on this late night podcast where they talk science, Satan, and the devil’s obsession with water sports. You too can lose your damn minds staring at a green lava lamp. Listen to find out how!
026 - The Dark Crystal (1982)
August 26, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 61.3 MBThis week we’ve got the most torpid muppets this side of Podling Village. Christopher Brown of Zero Science Network brings us the 1982 Jim Henson fantasy epic The Dark Crystal. Epic, in this case, is defined as slow, boring, and lending to a general unease due to its proximity to the uncanny valley, right? So grab your comfort pipe and pour yourself some Podling Essence because you’re going to need all the energy you can get. Don’t forget to check out Christopher’s other shows like Old Men Y...
025 - The Blue Lagoon (1980)
August 19, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 71.6 MBVery special guest Danielle Brown (of Treefort Five) brings us a tale of adventure, amazing engineering, and forbidden romance that surely got us on put on a government watch list. That story is The Blue Lagoon, the 1980 Christopher Atkins-is-an-adult-man and Brook Shields-is-way-too-young coming of age island drama. So get ready to cover up those hoochie coochies and set sail to San Farisco.
024 - The Secret of NIMH (1982)
August 12, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 64 MBAh, Rats. This week is all about the 1982 Don Bluth directed The Secret of NIMH, starring all manner of rodents, birds, and one lazy-as-hell evil cat. Also, there’s some magic (Matt disapproves), some romance (Bridget approves but wanted MORE), and a tone that’s about one notch less dour than The Last Unicorn.
023 - Chopping Mall (1986)
August 05, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 69.6 MBThis week, Matt brings a cinematic gem to the table: the 1986 cult classic Chopping Mall. Do you like tank-like Killbots, pepperoni-scented sexual encounters, and daughters of marines? Then boy, do we have the movie for you! Seriously though, we loved this movie. We’re begging you, give this one a watch.
022 - Clifford (1994)
July 29, 2019 13:05 - 1 hour - 85.7 MBQuintin is sorry. He’s so very sorry. But in his defense, he needed to share the insanity. So put on your red jacket, jump on the LA subway and get ready to go to Di-No-Saaaaaur World, because it’s Clifford time! Martin Short stars as a 10-year old boy hellbent on two things: seeing Larry the Scary Rex and marrying his uncle’s fiancee Miss Sarah Davis (Mary Steenbergen), who...seems down for it, really. Charles Grodin tries his damndest to save the movie as Clifford’s long-suffering uncle, Ma...
021 - Innerspace (1987)
July 22, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 88.6 MBWe’re sticking in 1987 this week to take a look at Joe Dante’s Innerspace. Join us as we talk about our most scientifically unbelievable cinematic universe yet! Marvel as Dennis Quaid’s alcoholic pilot is miniaturized and rips and tears through a man’s body! Be amazed as everyone roams San Francisco in a spatially impossible way! Recoil at the notion that this is a universe where everyone, including Meg Ryan, is ready to drop their pants for Martin Short. Also, keep an eye out for a Clamshell...
020 - White Water Summer (1987)
July 15, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 70.9 MBThis week, Matt presents a tale about a culturally appropriating, emotionally unstable boys’ tour guide Vic (Kevin Bacon) as he tries to mold a young boy genius Alan (Sean Astin) into the man he believes he can be. Are you ready for a White Water Summer!? Will Alan leave his precious Mets behind? Will Vic get to show the boys some wolves up north? Will any of this not seem any less creepy once you’ve seen the film? Listen to the show and find out! Next week: Innerspace, the 1987 Joe Dante sc...
019 - Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)
July 08, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 67.3 MBThis week, we crack open the case on Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, a movie Quintin thought was so frightening, he was scared of the trailer as a child. Stephen King and George A. Romero bring us some campy tales of mummy revenge, sexy(?) gargoyle oaths and murderous hero cats. Oh, and a bonkers cast that includes Debbie Harry, Christian Slater, Steve Buscemi, Juilanne Moore and David Johansen (aka Buster Poindexter).
018 - Short Circuit 2 (1988)
July 01, 2019 12:00 - 2 hours - 167 MBThis week it’s a very special Clamshell Case Files, where special guest Jarrod Staples gives a harrowing story of survival in the face of an uncaring world...and that’s before we get to the attempted robot murder. It’s Short Circuit 2! Join a still problematic Fisher Stevens and Michael McKean as they provide the Johnny V adventure you actually remember! While you’re here, if you’re in the Greater Boston Area and need a photographer, may we suggest our wonderful guest? http://www.jarrodstapl...
017 - Short Circuit (1986)
June 24, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 80.8 MBOur very first special guest Jarrod Staples opens the file on a movie about a sentient, reformed killing machine and the woman who loves him (until tests audience demanded otherwise): the 1986 Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheady, Fisher Stevens-in-brown-face classic that everyone thinks they love but they really just love the sequel, Short Circuit 2. Join the crew as they learn what it is that really makes us “alive”: unabashed horniness. While you’re here, if you’re in the Greater Boston Area and...
016 - Child’s Play (1988)
June 17, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 85.7 MBThis week we have it all: toys trying to kill your aunt, a questionable understanding of voodoo, serial killer getaway drivers, blood-smeared secondhand birthday gifts, and the crew fixated on many open windows in a frigid Chicago winter. You guessed it! This week we’re talking about Child’s Play. What better way to get ready for this week’s reboot than to revisit the reason why nobody has fond memories of My Buddy dolls!
015 - The Wizard (1989)
June 10, 2019 12:00 - 2 hours - 97.7 MBWe’ve got a special treat for all you videoheads in honor of gaming’s biggest week, e3: the Electronic Entertainment Expo. 1989’s The Wizard, starring Fred Savage and the star you really wanted to see, gameplay of Super Mario Bros. 3! Listen along to a dystopian world hostile to all children and filled with product placement. But can the crew put the horror aside and enjoy a strangely affecting family drama? Ladies, gentlemen, children, siblings...ANIMALS! Prepare to have your hosts really br...
014 - Toys (1992)
June 03, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 92.7 MBThis week, we’re transported into Barry Levinson’s waking nightmare, Toys! Robin Williams stars as Leslie Zevo, an emotionally stunted middle-aged man whose father wants him to grow up. So naturally, before dear old daddy’s beanie propeller makes its last rotation, sending him to that great toybox in the sky, he (let us check our notes) hires Robin Wright to be his son’s lover? Did we mention it’s also an anti-war movie? Like a Christmas morning, there’s a lot to unwrap in this extra long episod
013 - Harry and the Hendersons (1987)
May 27, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 85.8 MBThis week, the crew is working a case in the Pacific Northwest, where John Lithgow learns that fur is murder, ritual burial is the proper way to dispose of pot roast, and his daughter may be falling in love with a sasquatch. That’s right, it’s time to talk about Harry and the Hendersons. So get your really, really big gun and really, really big ammo, and get ready to skulk around downtown Seattle with the hopes of murdering an endangered, highly intelligent, peaceful creature!
012 - The Gate (1987)
May 20, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 73.3 MBWho is ready to join baby Stephen Dorff in summoning adorable, tiny demons hell-bent on human sacrifice? Hopefully you, listeners, as we work the case against kiddie horror movie The Gate. It’s a film packed with pseudo-Satanic metal music, model rockets and dead housepets. The “hat trick of horror,” if you will.
011 - Fire in the Sky (1993)
May 13, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 80.9 MBWe continue our foray into the 90s with a movie that’s barely about alien abduction, Fire in the Sky. If you like dirty aliens, impassioned church speeches and loads of maple syrup induced screeching, you’ll love this “true story.” D.B Sweeney goes missing, and it sure looks like Robert Patrick, Peter Berg and Henry Thomas murdered him. At least that’s how James Garner sees it while he’s waiting for his paycheck to clear.
010 - Pump Up the Volume (1990)
May 06, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 79.4 MBWe’ve finally found a movie from our youth that inspired us! This week, Bridget chose Pump Up the Volume, the 1990 Christian Slater pirate radio drama co-starring Samantha Mathis, our fav Ellen Green, and a certain respectable Italian businessman! Get ready to eat your cereal with a fork and commit some federal crimes as we pump up the Inspirometer!
009 - Willow (1988)
April 29, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 80.4 MBThis week, we had a very special case request from Matt’s mom: Willow, the George Lucas and Ron Howard fantasy epic(?). Can Warwick Davis’s titular character save the day from a stop motion Clint-headed dragon, ape trolls, Mombi Palpatine, rodents of unusual size and Val Kilmer’s hammy acting? Ignore the bird! Follow the river to find out!
008 - Captain America (1990)
April 22, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 73 MBWith Avengers: Endgame releasing this week, the crew decided to take a look at the first Captain America appearance they remember: the 1990 trainwreck Captain America, produced by Canon Films co-owner Menahem Golan. With a Red Skull appearance somehow more surprising (and confusing) than his Avengers: Infinity War cameo and an off-brand origin for Cap himself, this one will be one for the ages. Listeners, Assemble!
007 - Cloak & Dagger (1984)
April 15, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 77.8 MBQuintin brings up a case against Cloak & Dagger, the 1984 story about Russian spies trying to kill the kid from E.T. to retrieve an Atari cartridge stuffed with government secrets. It’s a classic boy who cried wolf story, if those stories also contained terrorists in gray sweatsuits, magical walkie talkies and dead bodies in trunks!
006 - Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
April 08, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 67.7 MBBridget is ready to give blood, as the squad digs into her pick, the 1986 musical cult classic Little Shop of Horrors. Murder! Hungry Motown-voiced Alien plants! Abuse! Obnoxious baby boomer nostalgia! Questionable dental procedures! This one has everything we look for in a case!
005 - Beastmaster (1982)
April 01, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 70.7 MBMatt needs his cunning (which, in reality, is just a couple of ferrets) to get through his case this week, Don Coscarelli’s 1982 sword and sworcery epic Beastmaster. Join as, as we really into the definitive reasons why Matt became a vegetarian, talk about painting tigers, and the relative strength of several types of small animals!
004 - Return to Oz (1985)
March 25, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 63.6 MBQuintin’s case is the dark story of a troubled, possibly delusional young girl, her (talking) pet chicken, a rotting pumpkin headed man and an evil witch that wants to collect your head. Naturally, it’s a kids’ movie: The 1985 sequel Return to Oz.
003 - The Last Unicorn (1982)
March 18, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 58.1 MBBridget knew exactly what she wanted to talk about for her first case: The 1982 Rankin/Bass animated “children’s” movie, The Last Unicorn. Do you like cold, affectionless mythical creatures, hack wizards, drunk-ass skeletons, sad sack princes and an entire cast of people settling? Then do we have the animated classic for you!