Tuesday, 08.02.22

Julia is back! It's been too long but we're happy to see her again! We have two more days living that Contract Life and we're going to enjoy every minute of it! Speaking of which, we have nothing new to report but we'll keep you posted. Shoutout to the mayor of Kansas City Missouri for showing some concerns about our employment on his official Twitter last night. *How many writers does it take to write a terrible song and how many tweets does it take to apologize to Beyonce? *Doomscrolling!! Monkeypox vaccines are in short supply so we suggest that you try to avoid getting monkeypox for the time being. A pilot makes an emergency landing and everything seems to be fine until first responders notice that the other pilot is missing. *Back in the day, people used to talk about cut-off times for calling a person's house but are there cut-off times for texting your mom? *Congratulations, you're a hot guy. Life should be a lot of fun for you and you should want for nothing. That is, as long as you don't screw it up by doing one of these things on this list from a website (for girls) that Slimfast reads every morning. *Now that you've learned how not to ruin your good looks, let's teach you how to be interesting at a party. Start by introducing yourself and then wait for a good moment to ask about the person's mom and whether or not she's available. *The clock is a cruel boss and it's once again demanded that our discussions cease. Who are we to argue with time? Have a great day. See you tomorrow. www.lazlo.church  -Everybody Wang Chung!!