Monday, 04.04.22

Hi. Sorry, I'm awkward at hellos and goodbyes. I guess I'm awkward in between too but I'll try my best. At least I've never slapped someone on tv. That sort of thing will cost you some jobs. If you don't believe me, just ask Will Smith. *It has begun. Lazlo's mother is in town. She's staying with him! In his house! For a MONTH! We're currently on day 3. Let's catch up with Lazlo and see how things are going. *Doomscrolling!! Biden doubles down on the war criminal thing. Some kids in Pennsylvania ate drugged chocolates at school but no one is saying which drug they were gifted. Over 100 people across the country are claiming that Lucky Charms made them nauseous and caused diarrhea. It's probably just a bogus scam to get the little guy's lucky charms. The craziest scam I've ever heard of involves Chance the Rapper's name and paying off hundreds of thousands in people's debt. *What's the worst part about being an adult? People bring up a lot of good examples but am I the only one who says that going to the doctor is the worst part? I keep getting older and I keep going to the doctor. Unless I get hit by a bus or crack my skull in a hoverboard accident, my doctor is eventually going to have to give me bad news. That's why I've decided to stop going to the doctor for good. I value my life. *The incident that got your teacher fired in school. I was expecting a lot of student sex scandals but I was not expecting Johnny Switchblade to get a job teaching. *Boom! Monday is done! Have a great day and don't forget to say hello on Twitter and Instagram @churchoflazlo and join us on Reddit,  /r/churchoflazlo -Everybody Wang Chung!!!!