Friendship A Must Not a Want-Selah46-CMAW134

S   I have a couple devotions I want to share with you on the topic of friendship but first I want to share you some of my thoughts. I was recently contacted by David Smith who I interviewed in episode 86 about his book “Who’s Got Your Back” about the importance of friendships for men. He was very concerned as I am about the negative this pandemic has had on men due to the fact that men aren’t meeting together in friendship and are very isolated. David and I are working on scheduling a conversation on this topic for a future podcast. I’ve been working from home primarily but recently was able to catch up in person with a friend and he opened up to me and asked me to pray for something going on in his life. It occurred to me that would not have happened on the phone or on a Zoom call. I’m working with the leaders at my church to have a one day men’s retreat at my home later this summer because I know how much men need this. They need to physically get together with other men who are believers in Christ. My wife and I just heard a presentation at our church about the Alpha project. The purpose of this is to invite unbelievers to your home to go through a video series about the big questions of life and to have safe nonjudgmental conversations. We plan to lead an Alpha group and to start our invitation list with our neighbors. I believe we are in the end times and I believe all of us desperately need solid, real, meaningful relationships in a few key areas. First we need to be close to God. For those of that are married we need to be close to our wives. We need to be close to a few brothers in Christ and finally we need to have friendships with unbelievers that will lead to increasing their awareness of Christ and coming to salvation. Each of these relationships are unique but they all share at least one thing in common: none of them happen by accident. They require intentional, ongoing persistent action on our part. I want to challenge you to think about each of these critical relationships: God, your wife, your brothers in Christ and unbelievers in your life.  What is the current status of these relationships for you? What is God calling you to do to improve on these? And finally, take a moment to ponder on what these could look like, how your life, the lives of these other people and those affected by your relationships would be different if each of these relationships were better, were more closely in line with Gods will. And think about how, when you see each of these people in heaven, might that meeting be different as a result of changes you make now while here on earth.   Ok, now I want to share with you 2 devotions on this topic from some familiar sources. The first Is from Brian Biggers From Lambs Chapel In Burlington, NC, found at tlcalive.com. The second is from Justin Camps Wire devotional for men, found at wire for men.com   The Power of Friendship   As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:17  

 

There are very few things as dear as a true friend. The kind you can talk openly to, you can call at any time for help and you truly enjoy being around. Genuine friendship is one of the greatest gifts God ever gave us. However, as good as all of those benefits are, it is in this verse that we find the true God given purpose of friendship. The Divine purpose of a friend is to "sharpen us". The picture in this verse hearkens back to a day gone by when a man would use two swords to sharpen each other. He would place the blades at an appropriate angle against one another and then he would slide blade against blade to sharpen them both. They needed each other to do for each other what they could not do by themselves. A blade cannot sharpen itself. Rare is the person that can grow spiritually, relationally, mentally and morally all by themselves. Our creator so designed us that we need other people to press us on to our destiny in Him. A friend that refuses to sharpen you, one that will never confront you over issues that need to be dealt with in your life is no friend at all. If someone refuses to "do surgery" on you where it is needed, find you another friend. The Bible says that "faithful are the wounds of a friend". When Dr. Graham told me that I had cancer on my neck and that she was going to cut it out, I didn't get offended at her and distance myself from her. I knew she was going to hurt me in order to help me. That is a true friend. They love you too much to let a cancer of hatred, bitterness, selfishness, addiction or anything else destructive to go unchallenged in you. Do you have a true friend like that? It might be a spouse, a child, a coworker or a neighbor. But, blessed is one who has a true friend that cares more about you and your family's wellbeing than about never offending you. Receive their sharpening!  Two swords that will never grind against one another are useless to sharpen. However, two swords that come at each other head on will not sharpen either. They will destroy each other. A true friend has only one goal in confrontation. That is the wellbeing of you and your family. There is no desire to inflict pain just to watch you suffer. Today many "friendships" are toxic. They actually leave people worse for the relationship. I would encourage you to distance yourself from people that do not "sharpen you", rather they have a detrimental effect on you. A "friend" that is not causing you to grow in grace is a poor investment of your valuable time and emotional energy. The Bible is very clear that a friend will make you a better person for being in that relationship. Have the courage to invest your life in a few close friends that are going where you want to go in life and become "iron sharpening iron" to one another. We may have many acquaintances in our journey, but we really need one or two true friends that will cause us to be much better people because our paths crossed. Pray that God will give you such a friend. Pray that God will make you such a friend.

 

  Father, I thank you for the people that you have placed around me that have made me better by the relationship. Let me be to someone the "iron" that they need to be who you created them to be.   With Whom Do You Gather? [ 1 min read ★ ]       For where two or three are gathered . . .  there am I among them—Matthew 18:20     We men often find it hard to gather with other men in Christian community. Calendars are full: “I just don’t have time for one more thing.” Pride is high: “I’m good . . . I’m doing fine on my own.” Aversion to vulnerability is strong: “Oh, man . . . I’m just not that good at opening up.” If we are followers of our King, Jesus Christ, though, we must gather—“not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some” (Hebrews 10:25).   But . . . why? Why is community so important for men? Well, a couple reasons. “Two are better than one,” Scripture tells us—we are stronger, less vulnerable, together(Ecclesiastes 4:9).   “For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:10).   Even more important, though, Jesus tells us that he is uniquely present when we gather in his name (Matthew 18:20). You see, God the Holy Spirit dwells within each follower of Jesus. (John 14:17) Therefore, when we gather, the power of the Spirit flows from one to another and back. When we gather, the work of God is done: confessions are made; sins are repented; love and compassion are expressed; hearts are healed; encouragement is given; lives are transformed. Men are lifted up, up out of sin and rebellion, into life and identity and calling. Work is done that just cannot be done in isolation.     E Demario at Lowe’s who loaded up some topsoil in my vehicle. I was feeling kind of guilty for watching him load my car and so started thanking him and joking saying I would do the work on the other end and he said “all work is good Sir”   L So the people asked him, saying, “What shall we do then?” He answered and said to them, “He who has two tunics, let him give to him who has none; and he who has food, let him do likewise.” Then tax collectors also came to be baptized, and said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Collect no more than what is appointed for you.” Likewise the soldiers asked him, saying, “And what shall we do?” So he said to them, “Do not intimidate anyone or accuse falsely, and be content with your wages.” Luke 3:10-14   A From Ben LaCorte Ask questions.  See book "Tactics" by Greg Koukl. He says to leave a stone in their shoe.   H - John Shirey - Time Management Stephen Covey's book "First Things First" talked about everything we do is in 1 of 4 quadrants, either urgent or not urgent and important or not important.  Quadrant 1, important and urgent needs to be managed. Quadrant 2, important and not urgent, is where we should spend most of our time. Quadrant 3, urgent and not important you want to avoid and learn to say no.  Quadrant, not urgent and not important should be minimized.

S   I have a couple devotions I want to share with you on the topic of friendship but first I want to share you some of my thoughts. I was recently contacted by David Smith who I interviewed in episode 86 about his book “Who’s Got Your Back” about the importance of friendships for men. He was very concerned as I am about the negative this pandemic has had on men due to the fact that men aren’t meeting together in friendship and are very isolated. David and I are working on scheduling a conversation on this topic for a future podcast. I’ve been working from home primarily but recently was able to catch up in person with a friend and he opened up to me and asked me to pray for something going on in his life. It occurred to me that would not have happened on the phone or on a Zoom call. I’m working with the leaders at my church to have a one day men’s retreat at my home later this summer because I know how much men need this. They need to physically get together with other men who are believers in Christ. My wife and I just heard a presentation at our church about the Alpha project. The purpose of this is to invite unbelievers to your home to go through a video series about the big questions of life and to have safe nonjudgmental conversations. We plan to lead an Alpha group and to start our invitation list with our neighbors. I believe we are in the end times and I believe all of us desperately need solid, real, meaningful relationships in a few key areas. First we need to be close to God. For those of that are married we need to be close to our wives. We need to be close to a few brothers in Christ and finally we need to have friendships with unbelievers that will lead to increasing their awareness of Christ and coming to salvation. Each of these relationships are unique but they all share at least one thing in common: none of them happen by accident. They require intentional, ongoing persistent action on our part. I want to challenge you to think about each of these critical relationships: God, your wife, your brothers in Christ and unbelievers in your life.  What is the current status of these relationships for you? What is God calling you to do to improve on these? And finally, take a moment to ponder on what these could look like, how your life, the lives of these other people and those affected by your relationships would be different if each of these relationships were better, were more closely in line with Gods will. And think about how, when you see each of these people in heaven, might that meeting be different as a result of changes you make now while here on earth.   Ok, now I want to share with you 2 devotions on this topic from some familiar sources. The first Is from Brian Biggers From Lambs Chapel In Burlington, NC, found at tlcalive.com. The second is from Justin Camps Wire devotional for men, found at wire for men.com   The Power of Friendship   As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:17  

 

There are very few things as dear as a true friend. The kind you can talk openly to, you can call at any time for help and you truly enjoy being around. Genuine friendship is one of the greatest gifts God ever gave us. However, as good as all of those benefits are, it is in this verse that we find the true God given purpose of friendship. The Divine purpose of a friend is to "sharpen us". The picture in this verse hearkens back to a day gone by when a man would use two swords to sharpen each other. He would place the blades at an appropriate angle against one another and then he would slide blade against blade to sharpen them both. They needed each other to do for each other what they could not do by themselves. A blade cannot sharpen itself. Rare is the person that can grow spiritually, relationally, mentally and morally all by themselves. Our creator so designed us that we need other people to press us on to our destiny in Him. A friend that refuses to sharpen you, one that will never confront you over issues that need to be dealt with in your life is no friend at all. If someone refuses to "do surgery" on you where it is needed, find you another friend. The Bible says that "faithful are the wounds of a friend". When Dr. Graham told me that I had cancer on my neck and that she was going to cut it out, I didn't get offended at her and distance myself from her. I knew she was going to hurt me in order to help me. That is a true friend. They love you too much to let a cancer of hatred, bitterness, selfishness, addiction or anything else destructive to go unchallenged in you. Do you have a true friend like that? It might be a spouse, a child, a coworker or a neighbor. But, blessed is one who has a true friend that cares more about you and your family's wellbeing than about never offending you. Receive their sharpening!  Two swords that will never grind against one another are useless to sharpen. However, two swords that come at each other head on will not sharpen either. They will destroy each other. A true friend has only one goal in confrontation. That is the wellbeing of you and your family. There is no desire to inflict pain just to watch you suffer. Today many "friendships" are toxic. They actually leave people worse for the relationship. I would encourage you to distance yourself from people that do not "sharpen you", rather they have a detrimental effect on you. A "friend" that is not causing you to grow in grace is a poor investment of your valuable time and emotional energy. The Bible is very clear that a friend will make you a better person for being in that relationship. Have the courage to invest your life in a few close friends that are going where you want to go in life and become "iron sharpening iron" to one another. We may have many acquaintances in our journey, but we really need one or two true friends that will cause us to be much better people because our paths crossed. Pray that God will give you such a friend. Pray that God will make you such a friend.

 

  Father, I thank you for the people that you have placed around me that have made me better by the relationship. Let me be to someone the "iron" that they need to be who you created them to be.   With Whom Do You Gather? [ 1 min read ★ ]       For where two or three are gathered . . .  there am I among them—Matthew 18:20     We men often find it hard to gather with other men in Christian community. Calendars are full: “I just don’t have time for one more thing.” Pride is high: “I’m good . . . I’m doing fine on my own.” Aversion to vulnerability is strong: “Oh, man . . . I’m just not that good at opening up.” If we are followers of our King, Jesus Christ, though, we must gather—“not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some” (Hebrews 10:25).   But . . . why? Why is community so important for men? Well, a couple reasons. “Two are better than one,” Scripture tells us—we are stronger, less vulnerable, together(Ecclesiastes 4:9).   “For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up” (Ecclesiastes 4:10).   Even more important, though, Jesus tells us that he is uniquely present when we gather in his name (Matthew 18:20). You see, God the Holy Spirit dwells within each follower of Jesus. (John 14:17) Therefore, when we gather, the power of the Spirit flows from one to another and back. When we gather, the work of God is done: confessions are made; sins are repented; love and compassion are expressed; hearts are healed; encouragement is given; lives are transformed. Men are lifted up, up out of sin and rebellion, into life and identity and calling. Work is done that just cannot be done in isolation.     E Demario at Lowe’s who loaded up some topsoil in my vehicle. I was feeling kind of guilty for watching him load my car and so started thanking him and joking saying I would do the work on the other end and he said “all work is good Sir”   L So the people asked him, saying, “What shall we do then?” He answered and said to them, “He who has two tunics, let him give to him who has none; and he who has food, let him do likewise.” Then tax collectors also came to be baptized, and said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Collect no more than what is appointed for you.” Likewise the soldiers asked him, saying, “And what shall we do?” So he said to them, “Do not intimidate anyone or accuse falsely, and be content with your wages.” Luke 3:10-14   A From Ben LaCorte Ask questions.  See book "Tactics" by Greg Koukl. He says to leave a stone in their shoe.   H - John Shirey - Time Management Stephen Covey's book "First Things First" talked about everything we do is in 1 of 4 quadrants, either urgent or not urgent and important or not important.  Quadrant 1, important and urgent needs to be managed. Quadrant 2, important and not urgent, is where we should spend most of our time. Quadrant 3, urgent and not important you want to avoid and learn to say no.  Quadrant, not urgent and not important should be minimized.