EP 06: On Relationships: When Gender And Family Collide

Parenting a gender-expansive kid means that you and your kid are going to face a lot of people who do not understand gender and a lot of people who have a lot of opinions about how you should raise your child—and that can sometimes include your family members.

 

Advocating for your child within your family is a common experience for parents of a transgender kiddo. Some parents have no trouble pushing back against their parents, or siblings or grandparents.

 

But many parents wonder how to go about supporting their kid without rocking the boat with the rest of their extended family. Some parents have spent their entire lives playing by the rules set for them by family.

 

To have a child that breaks those rules, and forces them to reckon with the armor they have been carrying around with themselves for whatever reason, can be incredibly disorienting.

 

In the first part of this episode, you’re going to hear Carmen’s story. She is the mother of three kids and two dogs. She’s known a different path of parenting than most of us. Of her three kids, one is medically fragile, two are neurodiverse, one is transgender, and the other is now a tween girl.

 

Carmen’s been wading through the tall grass of parenting for quite some time, and through it has really come to know herself, and what she stands for very well. She and her spouse have worked hard to create a home where they can and do talk about hard things and lean into difficult conversations regularly.

 

So, I Have A Question:

 

This interview with Carmen will probably bring up a lot of questions for you around how to advocate for your transgender kiddo within your family circle.

 

That’s why I’ve solicited the help of Jenn Burleton. Jenn is considered an authority and nationally recognized leader on issues relating to transgender and gender diverse children and youth.

 

In addition to her role as founder and program director of TransActive Gender Project at Lewis & Clark Graduate School of Education and Counseling, Jenn has served on Oregon Health & Science University’s Transgender Program Advisory Committee, and the LGBTQ Child Welfare Workgroup for Multnomah County.

 

She was awarded the 2014 Multnomah County “Sy Award” for a lifetime commitment to social justice. On top of all of this - she’s one of the few remaining elders of the trans community and an absolute delight. I fully intend on making her one of my new best friends, and a regular here at Camp.

 

Check out the full episode to hear about:

How to advocate for your transgender child within your familyThe value of having hard conversations consistently—and confronting harmful conversations and mindsets around transnessThe incredible importance of connecting with other parents going through what you’re going through—no matter what stage you’re at with adapting to your child’s gender experience

 

Find out more about Jenn Burleton:

TransActive Gender Project

 

Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:

wildheartsociety.orgWild Heart Society on FacebookWild Heart Society on Instagram

 

Additional resources:

Brene Brown’s Braving the Wildernessgenderspectrum.com