Camp Wild Heart

12. Joyful Resistance: One Dad's Call to Action

October 24, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 5 MB

We’ve talked before about voting for your kid, and the rafts of legislation that are directed at taking away rights from trans people and trans kids. Even here in the Pacific Northwest, kids and their families are scared. As of recording on August 15th, 2023, there were 358 active pieces of anti-trans legislation in 49 states. That doesn't include the 80 bills that were already passed, and it doesn't include the 128 bills failed. This isn't going to stop anytime soon. Today, we’ll hear...

11. From Heartache to Healing: The Power of Self-Acceptance with Randi

October 10, 2023 07:00 - 50 minutes - 5 MB

So often when I talk to parents about their children’s decision or request to transition, parents express concern that their child will regret their decision, and that their child’s regret will come back on them as parents. In fact, I’ve worked with a number of parents who have said, “They can do whatever they want when they’re 18, but I’m not going to be responsible for any regrets that they have later.” I’ve always translated this as a fear response. And I get it. There are a lot of unk...

10. Words to Say When… Keeping Your Power in Difficult Conversations with Prof. Jaime Hamilton

September 12, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 5 MB

Transphobia is all around us, and often inside us. As parents, we face it in everyday conversations with colleagues, family members, and friends. Our kids face it in school from peers, teachers, and friends. Over the years, the biggest concern I hear about raising a transgender child isn’t about the medical stuff, it’s fears about the way the world will treat that child. We know it’s not all going to be nice. We know that our kids will face bullies and bigots. And I've heard from some o...

09. Catherine: Living With Love, Not Fear

September 05, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 5 MB

Remember that time before you were a parent and you thought you at least had some clue what you were getting into and that you’d be good at it? I know I did. I knew it wasn’t all snuggles and giggles and that it would be a lot of hard work, but caring for others is part of my wiring. Of course, none of us are really prepared for what waits for us in parenthood. Even after you’ve had your first kid, you can get thrown for a loop on the second, third, and so on because every kid is different...

08. Body Trust: Coming Home to the Body with Dana Sturtevant and Hilary Kinavey

July 04, 2023 07:00 - 42 minutes - 5 MB

“How do we know this is about gender and not body image? Doesn’t everyone feel uncomfortable in their body at that age?” I get these questions from parents all the time. And my answer is this: body image is about being dissatisfied with how we look along with unobtainable beauty standards. Body dysphoria is about the cues their body sends to the world about how to interact with and treat them, how that doesn’t align with how they feel, and how it can make them feel invisible. It’s similar,...

07. Neurodiversity and Transness: Honoring Intersectionality in Healing Spaces with Dr. Sam Zoranovich

June 27, 2023 07:00 - 51 minutes - 5 MB

Every single one of us has a body. People are complex and our bodies are no different. Some of us feel at home in our bodies, while others of us do not, and it’s not always because of gender. Difficult emotions can play a significant role in this disconnect, as well as trauma and its impact on the body. And having a disability, disease, or other condition can further strain the connection with the body. But for many trans people, their transness is just the tip of the iceberg when it com...

06. Mindful Masculinity: Embracing Superheroes and Sensitive Souls with Rocco Kayiatos

June 20, 2023 07:00 - 1 hour - 5 MB

Toxic masculinity is more than a buzzword. Toxic masculinity is part of the gender training we receive starting in childhood, where we learn the rules about how to be a man or a lady. Man up. Boys don’t cry. And it hurts all of us. Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood and frankly, I’m surprised more men aren’t pissed about it. What does that have to do with raising a transgender child? Toxic masculinity can manifest in many ways and have a profound impact o...

05. Gendered Lives: Privilege, Parenting, and Identity with Erica Courdae

June 13, 2023 07:00 - 52 minutes - 5 MB

There are so many things about our lives that are gendered. And some of those things are a lot more important and hold more cultural significance than we realize–that is until we have kid who comes out as trans, and then all of that privilege you had and all the mental energy you didn’t have to spend on thinking about all the ways in which the world wasn’t set up for your transgender kid is gone. Now, I should be clear, when I say “we” I’m talking about cisgender, heterosexual, white pe...

04. Fear vs. Curiosity: Being Alive and Trans with Flint, Just Flint Part 2

June 06, 2023 07:13 - 44 minutes - 5 MB

Get ready for part two of my conversation with Flint. If you haven’t listened to part one, hit pause and give it a listen, then come back for part two. In this episode, we’re continuing our conversation about creating a safe and supportive space for trans kids, and the trans adults they need in their lives to show them that they will be fine, and that what they are experiencing is normal. Flint is an English teacher in Southern California. They are white, use they/them pronouns, are vegan,...

03. Fear vs. Curiosity: Being Alive and Trans with Flint, Just Flint Part 1

June 06, 2023 07:00 - 46 minutes - 5 MB

We have all heard and experienced how different school is now from when we were kids. It’s a whole different world. And while I could easily be referring to school policies and the way that kids are taught math - I’m not. I’m referring to the social universe and obstacle course that kids navigate day in and day out. And one of the hardest things about that change is that it doesn’t really end when the bell rings. It continues on social media and smartphones. Kids don’t really get a natur...

02. Believing in Your Child: Embracing the Journey of Trans Identity

May 30, 2023 07:00 - 49 minutes - 5 MB

You never know how people are gonna react to your child's coming out and socially transitioning. I wish there was a clear indicator that I could give you that says, these are the ones who will support you, and these are the ones who are going to get spooked and do really ugly things. If that thing exists, I haven't discovered it yet. I've seen families who are progressive and open-minded about others get completely closed off to the idea that something like this could be happening with the...

01. What Do I Do When My Kid Won't Talk to Me? with Flyn Alexander

May 23, 2023 19:00 - 46 minutes - 5 MB

I think we’ve all been in that place with our kids where they are clearly going through something big - something with friends, something with sex, mental health, transness, something that makes your parent heart go “Oh god - I need more information about this so I can help and protect and make sure that nothing bad happens to them.” So you put out the bid for connection and try to engage in the conversation and your kid gives you NOTHING. They stare blankly at you, they say “I don’t wan...

07. Talking Queerness: Gender-Affirming Perspectives and Resources with Lindz Amer

October 25, 2022 07:00 - 47 minutes - 65.5 MB

When I was a kid, nobody talked to me at all about queer people, except maybe to tell me that they were sinful and going to hell. I don’t think I really even started to learn about queerness in any way other than the negative until I was in high school. And even then, it wasn’t exactly what I would call affirming. And I know my experience isn’t uncommon. Times have really changed when it comes to the acceptance of the queer community by the dominant cishet society that we live in in the U.S...

06. Sharing the Weight of Coming Out

September 27, 2022 07:00 - 38 minutes - 35.2 MB

Coming out is an age old tradition for queer kids. Some even think of it as a right of passage. But what we don’t really consider is how emotionally taxing it is for the person doing the coming out. What we don’t realize is that by even having this cultural set up, we’re creating a world where our kids are othered. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we didn’t have to come out and we could just be ourselves without having to explain our identity to anyone? I realize that the world is far from this ut...

05. Growing Alongside Your Kiddo

September 13, 2022 07:00 - 34 minutes - 31.6 MB

Parenthood is a state of nonstop learning and adapting. I love being my kids' mom more than anything. And it's a good thing I like a challenge because it is also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Parenting is hard for so many reasons - even when you’ve got a neurotypical, cisgender kid with no mental health issues. Parenting a neurospicy, gender expansive kid is a whole other level of challenging. And being a parent shines a big bright light down on all of our own stuff. The lifetime of s...

04. The Magic of Voice Transitioning with Nicole Gress

September 06, 2022 07:00 - 42 minutes - 38.7 MB

Have you ever had the experience where you open your mouth to speak, and the voice that comes out of your mouth is barely recognizable? Or have you ever heard yourself on a recording and thought, “Whoa! Is that what I sound like?!” These experiences aren’t exactly the same as the gender dysphoria many trans people experience in their lives, but they are as close as I can get to helping you connect to the feeling of vocal gender dysphoria. So what do we do about it? How do we help a gir...

03. Creating Communities of Support For Gender Expansive Kiddos with Shannon Collins

August 16, 2022 07:00 - 57 minutes - 52.5 MB

It certainly isn’t the case for everyone, but for many parents, raising a transgender kiddo can feel like a pretty isolating experience. Who do I talk to about it? Where do we find more information? What supports are even available to our family? What does any of it mean? Finding other families can be very difficult. And there are so many factors that make it difficult. Where you live is usually a big one. There are certain parts of the country that have more resources and support than ot...

02. Non-Binary: Love, Kindness, and Self-acceptance with Jeffrey Marsh

August 09, 2022 07:00 - 50 minutes - 46.1 MB

When kids come out as trans, there is often, but not always, a progression to it. It is not at all uncommon for kids–particularly adolescents–to start with coming out as gay, and then progress into a non-binary identity, and then to a re-binary identity. But not everyone takes that route. And a lot of kids and adults discover the concept of non-binary or something similar and go, “Yes! This is me - finally.” There are so many labels in the gender universe, and because it is continuousl...

01. What the Heck is Gender Dysphoria? with Karen Kopulos

August 02, 2022 07:00 - 57 minutes - 52.6 MB

Dysphoria is a word that gets thrown around a lot in the trans community. Dysphoria is an intense discomfort, distress, or unease that typically has to do with one of three aspects of gender identity: physical, social, or mental. Dysphoria is NOT a qualifier for being trans.There are plenty of trans people who don’t experience dysphoria. But since it is very common, we thought it would be worth telling you about how and when it shows up, what it feels like, and how you can support your ki...

07. Understanding Intersectional Identity with Martha Stebbins-Aguiniga

April 05, 2022 07:00 - 35 minutes - 32.2 MB

Sometimes we look around, or turn on the news, and it feels like we’re just being pummeled with injustices and it can feel overwhelming. Maybe you’ve already been fighting social biases based on race, income, or ability - and now here comes this kid that you love more than life, and they’re thrusting you into a whole new world of oppression that you probably didn’t even know existed. I think that advocacy and inclusion work as a parent of a trans kid is almost inevitable. You’re going to f...

06. Imperfect Parenting and the Power of Showing Up with Michelle

March 29, 2022 07:00 - 46 minutes - 42.4 MB

Showing up for our kids seems simple enough, right? Showing up means more than just your physical presence in a room. Showing up for your child is about the quality of your presence. Showing up means connection and attention–putting your phone down while your child is on the playground, taking advantage of every second of the three minutes your child engages with you about their day. Showing up is about making sure our kids feel soothed, safe, seen, and secure. And the research on child ...

05. Seeing Ourselves As More Than a Body with Lexie Kite

March 08, 2022 08:00 - 36 minutes - 33.1 MB

You know that feeling when you’re walking down the hall, or through a room of people and it feels like everyone is staring at you? And you know in those moments you almost start to stare at yourself? You become acutely aware of the way your clothes are hanging on your body, your posture, the way you’re walking, the hairstyle you chose that day–and chances are you’re not thinking about how awesome you look. There is a name for this experience. It’s called self-objectification and we all d...

04. Embracing the Gender Journey with Mikki Gillette

February 22, 2022 08:00 - 33 minutes - 30.7 MB

Gender affects us all and matters to us all. We all have a gender story. And the societal rules about gender that are wired into us deeply affect the way we treat people. Otherwise why would it matter if you can’t tell what someone’s gender is? Gender journeys are something that trans people think about a lot. And if you haven’t ever thought about your own, I highly encourage you to. Today Mikki Gillette is going to share with us a bit about her gender journey. She’s also the best pers...

03. Learning to Swim With the Struggle with Kristen

February 15, 2022 08:00 - 33 minutes - 30.4 MB

When we’re looking at any life transition, we’re in for a bumpy ride. Even when that change is good, transitions are hard. We’re bound to have missteps and hard moments in the messy middles that most of us work really hard to avoid because of how uncomfortable they are. But there are some times, like when your child comes out and wants to transition, that those moments become unavoidable. Navigating anything that goes against social norms is never simple. It might mean having to have har...

02. Focusing On Your Parts So You Can Show Up For Your Kids' with Delena Meyer

February 08, 2022 08:00 - 37 minutes - 34.7 MB

Have you had those moments with your kid that have left you feeling totally confused about what the right next step is? Parenting can feel stressful and downright overwhelming. Confusing, traumatizing, joyous, disappointing, and like the best thing we’ve ever done all in a matter of moments. All those emotions have messages and they often conflict with each other. If we don’t sort through these emotions, or parts of ourselves that are showing up in this chapter of parenthood, we are sure ...

01. GENDER 101: Beliefs About Bodies with Rachel Simon

February 01, 2022 08:00 - 41 minutes - 38.3 MB

The way we talk to kids about bodies and gender is so important. When I was a kid, we didn’t really talk about gender in any particular way, but it was everywhere and it was clear what the roles were. We didn’t really talk about bodies either - other than what was wrong with them. I wanted to do things differently with my kids. I wanted them to have an inclusive upbringing and understanding that their bodies were theirs and that they were wonderful, powerful, and the wisest part of them. ...

EP 15: Therapy and Assessment for Trans Youth - Forging a Supportive Path Forward with Laura Edwards-Leeper, Ph.D

June 22, 2021 07:00 - 40 minutes - 36.9 MB

There are lots of different opinions on the best way to support trans youth. Even among the community of affirming providers, there are lots of opinions of what should or should not happen for youth. According to standards of care written by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), once a person is 18, they should have access to care through the informed consent model. Meaning, they walk into a clinic, they say they're trans, they receive education ab...

EP 14: Medical Insurance–Opening Doors for Medical Intervention

June 08, 2021 07:00 - 34 minutes - 31.8 MB

Every step along the medical journey requires some level of interaction with an insurance company. Prior to the Affordable Care Act, most, if not all, insurance companies did not cover any gender affirming care. They saw it purely as elective and not a medical necessity, but as you are experiencing firsthand, times they are a-changin’. And with that, so has what is and is not covered under insurance benefits. Some of the most comprehensive coverage plans I've seen will cover e...

EP 13: Overcoming the Emotional Hurdles of Medical Intervention

May 18, 2021 07:00 - 44 minutes - 40.4 MB

Sometimes kids have a clear vision of what they want and need their body to look like in order to feel affirmed in their gender. If a child doesn't know that doesn't make them not trans, it just means this stuff is confusing and they aren't sure what they need. This is one of the main reasons we go slow. It’s also one of the reasons we always want to be sure that you as a parent have a comprehensive support team to help you through the medical side of transition. Knowing w...

EP 12: The Many Paths of Medical Intervention with Dr. Kara Connelly

May 04, 2021 07:00 - 45 minutes - 41.8 MB

Hormone therapy, testosterone, estrogen. I've seen these words throw so much tension and chaos into families. In our first medical episode, we introduced endocrinology and talked mostly about puberty, suppression medication or “the pause button.” Today, we're leveling up and talking about hormone replacement therapy or HRT. So often, a child is begging for HRT, and the parents are giving the full-on deer in the headlights look. Which makes sense, a lot of the time the child has ...

URGENT - The SAFE Act In Arkansas: We Need To Talk

April 20, 2021 16:19 - 47 minutes - 43.3 MB

On April 6, the Arkansas state legislature overrode the governor’s veto to pass the SAFE Act—Saving Adolescents From Experimentation. The law outlaws access to gender-affirming medical care for transgender youth by labeling perfectly safe, common, and lifesaving treatment as “experimentation.” All of us who work to support transgender children and their parents are appalled and heartbroken. This is not the first inhumane law to be passed severely limiting the rights of transgende...

EP 11: Navigating the Rapids of Puberty Suppression with Dr. Karin Selva

April 06, 2021 07:00 - 1 hour - 61.8 MB

No parent wants to navigate any part of the medical system for their child beyond checkups. Medical can be a confusing and scary journey. Of course, we all want to do as little damage as possible to our kiddos, and many parents see medical interventions for transition as a recipe for potential damage. There is just so much misinformation around the subject of medical. It’s no wonder parents are so confused about it! And you do not have to navigate this terrain on your own....

EP 10: An Introduction to Medical Intervention

February 23, 2021 08:00 - 15 minutes - 14.6 MB

Without a doubt, the most controversial aspect of raising a transgender child comes with making medical decisions to assist with transition. As we started this podcast, the vast majority of questions I've received from listeners have been on this subject. And I won't lie: I've been delaying it in large part because first and foremost, I wanted you to know that you're not alone in your journey with your kid. There are many other parents who've been right where you are and without the c...

EP 09: Supporting Your Transgender Kiddo During the Holidays

December 22, 2020 14:22 - 1 hour - 61.5 MB

As wonderful as this time of year is, and as much as I love it, even I would have to call BS if we didn't also address some of the very obvious and universal stresses that come with it. Sometimes this is because of family pressure. Sometimes it's our own perfectionism that gets in the way of true joy. And if you're parenting a kid who has come out as transgender in the last year or two, you’re also dealing with how to navigate this with your extended family. There’s no one way t...

HOLIDAY BONUS: 13 Ways to Fill the Holidays with Joy, Gratitude, and Love for our Kiddos

December 15, 2020 08:00 - 13 minutes - 12 MB

One of the aspects of common humanity and parenting is that we are all doing the best we can and trying to inflict the least amount of damage possible on our kids. Some days it feels like a hallmark movie and other days, an MMA pay-per-view special. And on some days, it is both. Anyone who tries to pretend it's anything different is just full of crap. So here's what I've started reminding myself and I encourage you to do the same as you continue on the journey of parenting your trans...

EP 08: Learning How To Be An Ally To Your Trans Child

December 01, 2020 15:00 - 46 minutes - 42.5 MB

I know a lot of parents who, when their child first came out to them as transgender, were not surprised and celebrated their child’s ability, courage and willingness to live their life authentically. However, I also know a lot of parents who started in a place of fear and denial about what their child was telling them. This followed with them pushing back and denying their child the ability to explore what they were feeling in a safe way—or express themselves in a way that felt authenti...

EP 07: Getting Our Trans Kids to Tell Us What's Really Going On

November 17, 2020 08:00 - 49 minutes - 45.2 MB

As parents, we like to believe that we know our child better than anyone. Maybe better even than they know themselves. But do we really? For some parents, that’s one of the hardest things about making sense of a child coming out as transgender. They didn’t see it coming. How could they have missed something so huge? Most parents suspect something is going on—but they just don’t know what it is. When we recognize that something is off with someone we love, we might ask questions...

BONUS EPISODE: Vote For Your Kid

October 29, 2020 12:34 - 6 minutes - 6.09 MB

If you’re listening to this podcast, I’m guessing that you love someone who is transgender - probably your child. And many of you might not have known during the last election, that you were parenting a transgender kid. Or maybe in the last election, the stakes didn’t seem so high. This year, in case you didn’t have a reason to get to show up and vote, I want to make sure you know that your child needs you to vote - for them. Their rights literally depend on it. Every year, in...

EP 06: On Relationships: When Gender And Family Collide

October 06, 2020 07:00 - 49 minutes - 45 MB

Parenting a gender-expansive kid means that you and your kid are going to face a lot of people who do not understand gender and a lot of people who have a lot of opinions about how you should raise your child—and that can sometimes include your family members. Advocating for your child within your family is a common experience for parents of a transgender kiddo. Some parents have no trouble pushing back against their parents, or siblings or grandparents. But many parents wonder how t...

EP 05: Suicide Prevention: Facing Our Fear Of The Dark

September 22, 2020 07:00 - 52 minutes - 47.7 MB

Today at Camp Wild Heart, we’re going to talk about everyone’s favorite topic: suicide. Naturally, this is not a conversation that is super common which is why we feel it’s even more essential to talk about, especially as it relates to—and impacts—trans people. The reality is that no one is protected from it—people of all walks of life and of all genders experience suicidal thoughts. However, trans people seem to be more vulnerable to it—not because of their transgender identity but...

EP 04: When You're the Last To Know – When Your Child Comes Out As Transgender

September 01, 2020 07:00 - 55 minutes - 50.6 MB

Most cis-gender people have a hard time imagining what it's like to be transgender but I don't know anyone who hasn't had some experience of not being seen for who they truly are. Maybe you know what it's like to have someone look straight through you. Maybe your voice or ideas are regularly left out of meetings. Maybe you've been on the receiving end of some absolutely terrible customer service that leaves you wondering whether the person sees you as another human being. Ultimately...

EP 03: I Was Not Ready For This – When Your Child Comes Out as Transgender

August 18, 2020 07:30 - 43 minutes - 39.7 MB

There is no singular storyline that fits what it’s like when your child comes out. Every kid is different. Every family is different. Sometimes trans kids come out when they’re little—and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes parents are on board from the get-go—and sometimes they aren’t. Whether parents are on board or not, it’s crucial to get support. No one prepares for the day their kid comes out as transgender. By calling in for backup, it makes rising to the meet the ...

EP 02: How Do They Really Know? – When Your Child Comes Out as Transgender

August 18, 2020 07:15 - 46 minutes - 42.7 MB

Most kids don’t necessarily walk up to you and say, “Mom/Dad, I’m trans,” when they come out. Most of the time, however, they show early signs that they are exploring their gender and that they don’t feel right in their body. Some parents welcome the exploration. Others actively try to shut it down. Some parents shut it down without even knowing it—and when they do, they often unintentionally shut down a child’s willingness to be vulnerable and open with them about gender ...

EP 01: New Camper Orientation

August 18, 2020 07:00 - 14 minutes - 21 MB

Welcome to Camp Wild Heart! All of us at Camp Wild Heart are so excited you’re here. Showing up here means you’re looking for a way to show your love to your trans child in a way they understand and receive it. I don’t think there is anything closer to real magic than love. We know from the research that it is the most important protective factor kids have against trauma and stress. How cool is that?! Consider this first episode your New Camper Orientation. Just like any camp, ...

Introducing Camp Wild Heart

July 08, 2020 18:34 - 3 minutes - 3.32 MB

No one plans for having a transgender kid. Camp Wild Heart is your guide for raising a transgender or non-binary child and nurturing an affirming family. We help you ease your fear and navigate your confusion. Mackenzie Dunham, clinical social worker and co-founder of Wild Heart Society, talks with parents, experts, and transgender adults about the ins and outs of coping with internalized transphobia, fostering shame resilience, exploring medical transition for youth, understanding identity...

Episodes

Twitter Mentions