When you are talking to a full-blown alcoholic or addict or one who is both - and the list of cross-addicted people is growing – you might not be too surprised to learn that they speak an entirely different language than you do.

An example: an addict is confronted by his mum who says that he has a big problem. The addict doesn’t hear that. He thinks to himself that his mum is the problem because she stands in the way of him getting more dope.

When an addict or alcoholic does something that is reasonable, don’t get your hopes up. It’s more likely than not to be a coincidence, for every once in a while, he does make a good decision. Every once in a while, he has a good day.

After I sobered up, I used to say: “When I was drinking, every once in a while, I had a good day. Now that I’m sober, every once in a while, I have a bad day. Not that I drink over it, either.”

The brains of alcoholics and addicts, when they get to that stage, have changed and will never entirely be the same.