482.1 The Ethics of Teacher-Student Romantic Relationships

The Ethics of Teacher-Student Romantic Relationships

The Association for Spiritual Integrity does not have a moralistic, judgmental orientation. It’s a community endeavor. We don’t agree among ourselves on certain points. We’re trying to balance our subjective perspectives with standards that fit our contemporary culture.
A key point of disagreement is the issue of teacher-student romantic/sexual relationships. None of us are rigid or adamant in our opinions. We’re trying to work it out.
There are exceptions to every generality. In graduate school, psychotherapists are taught that it will never be appropriate for therapists and their clients to become partners.
Relationships tend to be the most challenging aspect of people’s lives. These challenges shouldn’t bleed into a teacher’s teaching activities.
When a teacher/student or therapist/client relationship transitions into romantic involvement, the potential for growth is undermined.
Sometimes “divine compulsion” arises in your spiritual path, shattering your conception of appropriate behavior.
The problem with teachers who haven’t transcended desire and explored their own shadow.
There can be a huge disparity between the apparent enlightenment of a teacher and their behavior.
Isolation and being closed to constructive criticism can be very dangerous for a teacher.
If a teacher doesn’t have friends other than his students, he might want to ask why. If he doesn’t have regular relationships and is always on a pedestal, he won’t get real-world feedback.
The culture is changing anyway. We’re just trying to give voice to values that are becoming lively in collective consciousness.
There can be a lot of practice involved in having your actions be a reflection of your deepest understanding.

Discussion of this panel in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.
Summary and Transcript of this discussion
Recorded October 26, 2018
YouTube Video Chapters:

00:00:00 - Introduction and Panel Discussion Preparation
00:02:18 - Introduction of Panel Discussion and its Purpose
00:04:09 - The Fluidity of the Situation and the Need for Collaboration
00:05:42 - Discussing Regulation of Teacher-Student Relationships
00:07:13 - Teachers and romantic relationships with students
00:08:51 - The Importance of Boundaries in the Teacher-Student Relationship
00:10:02 - Messiness in Relationships and the Sangha
00:11:18 - The Importance of Boundaries in Therapeutic Relationships
00:12:27 - Breaking the Golden Rule
00:13:33 - Choosing God over my marriage
00:14:48 - The Journey of Teacher-Student Relationships
00:16:11 - Protecting Students from Teacher Misconduct
00:17:39 - Violation of Trust and its Consequences
00:19:01 - Projection into the Sangha
00:20:12 - Bringing the Conversation into the Light
00:21:24 - The Deception of Enlightened Teachers
00:22:29 - Building Accountability and Transparency
00:23:43 - The Power of Shared Accountability and Learning Together
00:24:57 - Reflections on Personal Growth
00:26:01 - Creating a Supportive Community
00:27:26 - Open Feedback and Accountability
00:28:33 - Dysfunction in Relationships and the Need for Community
00:29:31 - Coming together in support and solidarity
00:30:18 - Creating a new type of sangha
00:31:33 - The Importance of Continuous Learning and Growth
00:32:26 - Creating openness and transparency for genuine collaboration
00:33:38 - The Intractable Conversation
00:34:37 - The Importance of Ethics for Young Teachers
00:36:02 - Learning Boundaries and Working with Power
00:37:35 - The Gift of a Supportive Community
00:38:57 - Website Launch and Conclusion
00:40:13 - Music Introduction