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[BRACKET!]
280 episodes - English - Latest episode: almost 4 years ago - ★★★★★ - 51 ratings[BRACKET!] is a weekly podcast that uses the single greatest hierarchy method known to mankind (the Sweet 16 Bracket) to sort out the absolute best in all fields: movie quotes, periods of time, cereals, logos, philosphical concepts, and types of sharks. New episodes every Friday.
We are funded by our generous Patrons, including Gabe Silva, Jeff Criswell, Andrew Whipple, AverageJonah, Evan Baumel, GX Barnett, AnarchyMarie, Lindsay, Mikey Hall, Oliver Beattie, Ringthane, Tom Nemcek, and Michael Zavala.
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Episodes
Episode #180 - Best Nicktoon
November 03, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 62.4 MBThe 90s are back and better than ever as we face sixteen of the most iconic Nickelodeon IPs off in a cartoon clash! We need to wrap up by 9 PM though. Full House is coming on and it's the early episodes where Jesse has a completely different name. ANNOUNCEMENT: We're moving to Fridays for new episodes! Thanks for your understanding \<3
Episode #179 - Best Lair
October 26, 2017 23:10 - 1 hour - 64.3 MBGonna be honest with you -- at one point, we stop the show to play HQ. I don't know how it happened and I was there for the whole thing. Cullen shows up twenty minutes late and is like "hey heads up we gotta stop at 9 to play this iPhone game" and if I kept it all in the show, it would have been a three hour podcast. None of us won the cash prize, by the way. Stay tuned at the end for a couple Special Announcements!
Episode #178 - Best Halloween Song
October 12, 2017 14:38 - 1 hour - 69.2 MBIt's a graveyard smash as Lori Beth Denberg and Steve Starkins from Lost Treasure Of The Valley join us to put a spell on you! This episode is creepy, cooky, mysterious, spooky....you name it. So if there's something strange in your neighborhood, put on this episode, because it's most likely Cullen and he gets easily confused.
Episode #177 - Best Disney Channel Original Movie
September 20, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 81 MBLet's watch a Disney Channel Movie with Lucas and Emma from DCOMedy! Sixteen of them, to be exact. For the first time ever, ALL of your favorites are on here! We've got This Horny House, Phantom of the Opera But For Kids, Teen Wolf in March, Teen Wolf in Water, Fingernail Wizards...as John Ryan Abbott would say, "The 90s are back."
Episode #176 - Best Thing About Fall
September 15, 2017 22:29 - 1 hour - 63.5 MBIt's the (second) most wonderful time of the year! Bring your best flannel and join us around the bonfire for some hot cider. Hey one thing you have to know, though....on your way up here, you're gonna have to drive around this Oktoberfest thing. Whatever you do, do \*NOT\* stop. There will be dead bodies in the road -- this is a trick. They are alive. Do not exit the vehicle, and please do NOT take off your shoes. That's how they get their power. Okay so call me when you get this and we'll s...
Episode #175 - Best Ant
September 06, 2017 14:23 - 49 minutes - 45.2 MBSee, because last week we did "Best Uncle" and so like, this week we're doing Ants. It's one of my favorite jokes, a homophone joke. This is probably the point where Cullen would chime in and say something along the lines of "You can't say that, Dan" but Cullen doesn't write these posts and for damn good reason.
Episode #174 - Best Uncle
August 30, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 71.7 MBYour four favorite uncles are back at it again! Also they're moving in and living in the basement, the attic, and your childhood bedroom. Look, the situation isn't exactly ideal for us either. You think we want to drive you to school? I'd much rather be out there finding lost treasures and becoming a rock star.
Episode #173 - Best Sonic the Hedgehog Character
August 23, 2017 15:14 - 1 hour - 55.4 MBSixteen of SEGA's anthropomorphic animals go up but only one can come down as the winner of the worst episode idea we've ever had. Follow me through an hour of regrets, set me free from John's deep well of Sonic lore, and trust me that we will escape from this mp3. We all will just have to live and leaHEYBIGCATHEYLITTLEGUYCANYOUTELLMEWHATSINSIDE
Episode #172 - Best Place at the Mall Food Court
August 16, 2017 23:02 - 1 hour - 63.8 MBQuick question before you start this episode: would you order the baked ziti from Sbarro? Like...and remember, this is just hypothetical...say they had every kind of pizza on the menu ready to go. Just out of the oven, hot and fresh. A veritable buffet of pizza. And sitting at the end of the counter, under a single heat lamp beating down like the summer sun on the side of a barn, is the baked ziti. Would you order it? Weird Q, I know, but you gotta figure out the answer for yourself before yo...
Episode #171 - Tournament of Champions X
August 09, 2017 01:13 - 1 hour - 56.6 MBIt's time once again. Sixteen winners face off in an epic Tournament of Champions [BRACKET!] to claim eternal glory and enter the hollowed grounds of Tournament of "Tournament of Champions" Champions alongside Clone High, Hammerhead Sharks, and \*sigh\* Dan McKenney.
Episode #170 - Best Mascot
August 02, 2017 11:57 - 1 hour - 58.8 MBIt's a Brand Battle Royale on this week's [BRACKET!] to determine which corporate conception can always close the deal. Join us as we create our own Flo-sonas, discover the origins (and death?) of Grimace, and revisit our favorite minor-league mascot, Southpaw the Lynchburg Hlllcat.
Episode #169 - Best Boy
July 26, 2017 20:27 - 1 hour - 61.7 MBThe boys are back in town, with Friend of the Show Will Kusleika.
Episode #168 - Best Carnival Ride
July 12, 2017 18:52 - 1 hour - 72.3 MBMJ from Dungeons & Lesbians and Can't Let Go - A Nashville CMT Podcast rolls into town with the county fair, bringing sixteen iconic rides to our Miserable Midway! Get ready to Tilt-a-Hurl with us as we explore the psyche of a traumatized young Dan, jump into some Bullying Machines, and float down a nasty river in a big splinter boat (look out for the camera!). Quick note: the guest's audio skips from time to time. It's not show-ruining, but just so you know it's not your audio player messin...
Episode #167 - Best Cake
July 04, 2017 18:28 - 1 hour - 57.7 MBIn honor of America's birthday, we've put together the sixteen best kinds of cake in a dessert duel to the death to determine which slice reigns supreme! Also in this episode is a shocking revelation about the Virginia Dairy Queen, Boston-style birthday cake, and even a musical number.
Episode #166 - Best TV Theme Song
June 28, 2017 20:39 - 1 hour - 60.8 MBFallon from Dungeons & Lesbians joins us to find out whatever happened to predictability and determine which TV theme is the very best like no one ever was! Nobody told you the podcast was gonna be this way, but life is like a hurricane here in Bracketburg. Sit your booty in a floor or in a chair while I tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air. We promise you'll have a yabba dabba doo time.
Episode #165 - Best Trio
June 21, 2017 20:46 - 1 hour - 64 MBOkay so let's just be honest with each other here: we forgot about Destiny's Child. And that's a felony. Even worse, we have Ed, Edd, and Eddy on this list \*instead\* of Destiny's Child, which is a war crime. So now we're on the lamb and looking for a place to crash while this all dies down. If you happen to have a porch or shed we can hide under, please send us an email.
BONUS -- Best Bonez
June 14, 2017 21:10 - 24 minutes - 22.5 MBWe weren't able to get together to record a new episode this week (sorry!) so please enjoy the very first BONUS EPISODE of [BRACKET!] -- Best Bonez! This episode was previously only available to Patreon backers, and features John Ryan Abbott, Jesse Knowles, Cullen Jennings, and Greg L. Mercer.
Episode #164 - Best Pixar Movie
June 08, 2017 17:08 - 1 hour - 61 MBKa-chow! We threw every Pixar movie released at time of recording (except Cars 2, don't @ me) into our patented Sweet 16 [BRACKET!], turned the dang thing on, and let 'er rip through each 90-minute romp to determine the best of the bunch. Join us on a journey of animated self-discovery where we ponder the morality of Toy Story and rewrite Frasier (classic Pixar buddy comedy) as an anime.
Episode #163 - Best Disney Princess
May 31, 2017 11:00 - 52 minutes - 47.8 MBStand-up comics Vanessa Gritton and Jessica Singer be our guests and help answer two simple questions: which Disney Princess reigns supreme, and if ye had ah chahnce te change yer fayte....wood ye? Join us as we embark on a journey to discover the colors of the wind, change who our reflection shows, go from Zero to Hero, and travel to a galaxy far, far away. Canonically Star Wars now exists in the same universe as Mickey Mouse. Sorry. Not our fault.
Episode #162 - Best Food At a Barbecue
May 24, 2017 15:59 - 59 minutes - 54.5 MBCome on down to our Memorial Day BBQ! Returning guest Gabe Silva brought some gout-inducing pulled pork, and Janette Goering picked up a case of ice pops and a whole thing of cornbread. Oh, and you have \*got\* to try the white-people kimchi Uncle Dan brought. It'll hold you over while Cousin John gets those adult front ribs fired up on the grill.
Episode #161 - Best MTV Original Series
May 17, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 69.4 MBComing fresh off the NEXT bus is Special Guest MJ from Dungeons & Lesbians with a Super Sweet Sixteen of the best TV shows to grace the afterschool airwaves! Hop on in to our Pimped out Ride while we hunt down some Catfish, pull some pranks with Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera, and move into a house with seven strangers. The strangers, by the way, include Ozzy Osbourne and Carson Daly.
Episode #160 - Best Overwatch Hero
May 10, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 62.2 MBCheers, love! The cavalry's here! After an incredibly heated debate, we selected sixteen of Blizzard Entertainment's most smoochable heroes to battle it out in what Jesse describes as "the most fucked [BRACKET!] yet." Will justice reign from above, or will it be time to amp it up? Does Roadhog secretly have Daredevil powers? Listen to find out the answers to these questions and more! The more, btw, is John's Evil-Winston fanfic.
Episode #159 - Best Eye
May 03, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 69.3 MBSound.wav's Nell Bailey makes a terrible mistake and joins us for a no-good very bad episode all about everyone's favorite organ: eyes! John summons a Blue Eyes White Dragon while placing a Trap Card face-down. Cullen changes the lyrics, title, and really the whole meaning of Brown-Eyed Girl. Jesse gives Sauron new powers. Dan has regrets.
Episode #158 - Best Dog
April 26, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 67 MBBilly Gagon from Dingo Dog Brewing Co. returns after a 135 episode hiatus for what may be one of our wildest episodes ever. No, really. Maybe don't start with this one as your first episode. John wills a meme into existence while Jesse tries to reclaim "Doggy-Style" as a hip new phrase all the teens are saying. Cullen takes a deep dive into the Baha Men. Dan is just happy to talk about the 100 Good Deeds of Eddie McDowd.
Episode #157 - Best Queen Song
April 19, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 60.1 MBSpecial guest MJ from Dungeons & Lesbians joins us princes of the universe for a crazy little thing called [BRACKET!] to pick the Best Queen Song! The gang feels under pressure with so many killer Queen songs, but we somehow manage to break free because the show must go on. If anyone can figure out how to fit "Flash's Theme" into this post organically, they can have my hosting spot permanently.
Episode #156 - Best School Lunch
April 12, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 71.9 MBAbed Gheith returns to kick off Season Ten and help decide which iconic school lunch will be this month's Manager Special. John eats lunch in the bathroom while Cullen feeds people knuckle sandwiches. Jesse finds a surprise inside his chicken patty, and Dan once fished a sandwich out of the trash can and nobody saw EXCEPT MIKE IN SECOND GRADE who just \*had\* to tell a lunch monitor because he's a little dirtbag.
Episode #155 - Tournament of Champions IX
April 05, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 75.9 MBThe Tournament of Champions is our end-of-season battle royale where the 16 winners of Season 9 face off to be crowned Best of the Season. With only four hosts, there's only one way to break ties: calling random people in our contact lists. No, really. That's a thing we did. I called my brother.
Episode #154 - Best Fantasy Race
March 29, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 59.2 MBColin Padgett Arnold, our resident Bestiary expert and co-host of Creature Culture, joins our medieval melee that will separate the orcs from the elves and the merfolk from the WaveRace64s. Honestly this entire bracket is just one big excuse for us to debate Giants vs. Smurfs, slam dunk on some Gorons, and make references to our Dungeons & Dragons adventures. Stick around at the end to prepare for next week's Tournament of Champions!
Episode #153 - Best Dan
March 22, 2017 11:00 - 53 minutes - 48.9 MBDan went to Boston to be with the rats, so Cullen, John, and Jesse recorded a very special episode that definitely did not hurt Dan's feelings at all. Made of steel, that boy. Very large, unwieldy steel. Anyways, now's a great time to pop open some Danimals Drinkable Yogurt while we reflect on TV's greatest dad (Danny Tanner), TV's worst dad (Danny DeVito), and a whole bunch of other white dudes named Dan. Guys what the heck happened.
Episode #152 - Best Superhero Costume
March 15, 2017 11:00 - 1 hour - 58.9 MBWe like to think of [BRACKET!] as a judgement-free zone...like Planet Fitness! But less pizza and there's no weird alarm on the wall. When special guest Albro Lundy gets upset with our encyclopedic knowledge of Power Rangers and Captain Underpants lore, he violates the circle of trust we've worked so hard to build. Thought we were friends, dude. Anyways, yes Spider-Gwen is on the bracket. Don't tweet us ever again.
Episode #151 - Best Adventurer
March 08, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 61.7 MBCameron Kunzelman joins us and 16 of the Best Adventurers on an odyssey to steal the Declaration of Independence! Danger will most certainly be faced head-on while the toughest of choices will be made! Does Link have what it takes to defeat Nathan Drake? Is Bear Grylls a big fat liar? Did Dan seriously believe Dora the Explorer could hear his responses when he talked to the TV? The answers to these questions and so much more await you in Journey To The Center Of The [BRACKET!]. Ask your paren...
Episode #150 - Best Bug
March 01, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 76.6 MBEsabelle Ryngin (science cartoonist, entemologist, and co-creator of Bugs and Kisses) joins us to metamorphose this bad podcast into a good one and help decide which of these sixteen entries is the ideal insect! Fair warning: there's a lot of Bug's Life talk. Cullen also picked up an entire anthill and put it in a shoebox under his bed, so that might be uncomfortable to hear about. Just want to make sure we cover all the bases.
Episode #149 - Best Tom Hanks
February 22, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 64.4 MB[BRACKET!] is like a box of chocolates: about half of 'em are filled with stuff you hate. The other half are palatable enough, like this episode. It could be because special guest Blythe Roberson is here to help pilot this crashing podcast into the Hudson River before we go up in flames hunting for the Tru Tru. You've got a friend in us, listener. We really, really, really, really, really, really, really like you.
Episode #148 - Best Clown (3rd Anniversary Special)
February 15, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 67.9 MBGreg L. Mercer, co-founding member of [BRACKET!] and co-host of the Transformers podcast Sound.wav, returns for our birthday party! And he brought sixteen clowns with him. Isn't that thoughtful? Everyone be sure to say thank you to the newest member of the Insane Clown Posse before they all go missing, rapture-style.
Episode #147 -- Best Duck
February 08, 2017 15:52 - 1 hour - 72.8 MBI hope y'all are ready to have your minds blown by the incredible audio technology we have at our disposal. After we lost 23 minutes of Jesse's audio, we spent $10,000 on digitally recreating the voice of Jesse Knowles. It's incredible, we can make it sound like Jesse is saying anything. I'm going to have him read the script to Ellen's Energy Adventure ride at Epcot next. Oh and get ready to talk about some ducks with our good friend and Pokemon Researcher Dr. Alex Roederer.
Episode #146 - Best Appetizer
February 01, 2017 12:00 - 1 hour - 57.7 MBComedian and writer Meg Favreau is here to help convince Jesse that you can't call a bowl of plain tortilla chips "nachos." No really. That's a thing we have to do. And we're all going to chip in and do our part to help Jesse overcome this CERTIFIABLY WILD idea. Oh, and Cullen doesn't know what poutine is. Meg shares where you can find the best Nebraskan Cheese Bread. Worth the drive, 5/5 on Yelp.
Episode #145 - Best Fictional Sport
January 25, 2017 16:27 - 1 hour - 69.2 MBSpecial Guest and Very Good KicksMan Chris Kluwe returns to pit bloodsport against laser tag against the laziest game J.K. Rowling could have invented...okay. Woof. I'm sorry. I can't keep writing this episode description pretending we didn't goof this bracket up real bad. And I know you're thinking "Hey par for the course for you chucklefucks" but like....MAN. WOOF. Swing and a miss.
Episode #144 - Best Original Pokemon
January 18, 2017 18:08 - 1 hour - 84.8 MBWhoa what are you doing!?! You're supposed to throw it at the Mewtwo! Not...oh my god STOP. Special Guest Abigail Tyson from Adult Swim Games joins us again to completely ruin all of your favorite Pokemon from Red & Blue. Just destroy them. Ravage them from the inside out. Fuck them \*up\*.
Episode #143 - Best Paw & John's Season of Changes
January 11, 2017 14:54 - 1 hour - 68.1 MBHello new listener! Maybe don't start with this episode because BOW HOWDY is it a rough one to start with. Our guest went missing this week, so we did the most reasonable thing: recorded ourselves talking about nonsense for about 50 minutes, then doing a 20-minute four entry bracket. Please enjoy this look behind the scenes at what goes down before we start an episode, from building a Best Fictional Sport bracket to John signing up for a Crunchyroll account.
Episode #142 - Best Loser
January 04, 2017 14:49 - 1 hour - 65 MB"All of you!" Wow. Harsh. We were thinking, like, maybe Charlie Brown or Eeyore but okay. Special guest Claire Friedman is here with us, so congrats on not taking her feelings into consideration before throwing your sticks and stones. Really expected better from you listeners by this point. Shame on me, I guess.
Episode #141 - Best Junk
December 28, 2016 20:39 - 1 hour - 66.5 MBPlease don't feel bad about holding on to hundreds of Pokemon cards for years. Or the pile of Funko Pops collecting dust on your shelf. Or your collection of Doctor Who shirts from Teefury. At least you didn't eat a Yu-Gi-Oh! card live on-air while recording a comedy podcast.
Episode #140 -- Best Home Alone Trap
December 21, 2016 12:00 - 1 hour - 68.2 MBWell, we've only referenced Home Alone Traps about a hundred times in the past, so we might as well give them their own [BRACKET!] to find out which of Kevin McCallister's homicidal tendencies brought to life is the best. Please enjoy our Holiday 2016 episode that doubles as a personal appeal to Daniel Stern and Sean Astin.
Episode #139 -- Now That's What I Call [BRACKET!] Vol. 1
December 14, 2016 13:00 - 42 minutes - 38.6 MBWe goofed up! Please enjoy this special Best Of episode featuring fan favorite clips and some bonus cold opens left on the cutting room floor. This episode of [BRACKET!] sponsored by Windows 10: The Only Platform That Hates You As Much As You Hate It.
Episode #138 - Tournament of Champions VIII
December 07, 2016 16:00 - 1 hour - 69.5 MBListen. We're not sure how this Tournament of Champions, our gauntlet where we take the last 16 winners and face them off in a final bracket, turned into PodcAstin with Sean Astin: The Podcast Dedicated to All Things Sean Astin or Other(sam)wise. But it did and we aren't the least bit sorry about it.
Episode #137 - Best Doctor
November 30, 2016 18:00 - 1 hour - 57.3 MBSpecial Guest Alex Jones joins us for a medical melee to determine which fictional doctor is graduating at the top of the class! Jesse teaches us about the real Patch Adams, while Dan fights tooth-and-nail for tossed salad and scrambled eggs. John wonders if Dr. Zaius ever took the Hippocratic Oath.
Episode #136 - Best Improvised Weapon
November 23, 2016 17:36 - 1 hour - 57.9 MBColin & Gnollbard from Culture Culture join us to fight fireworks with coffee pots! Cullen sets off an explosion in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Dan straps a tomahawk to a La-Z-Boy. John gets a geography lesson and sets up underground Frankenstein fights.
Episode #135 - Best Vacation
November 16, 2016 19:08 - 1 hour - 55.6 MBGabe Silva (animator at Rooster Teeth) joins us for a getaway gauntlet! Dan sneaks away from the chaperones. Jesse tries out for a reality show but won't tell us which one. John hosts MTV Spring Break Live from the video game conventions while Cullen challenges wolves to a fistfight in the middle of Europe.
Episode #134 - Best Pop-Tart
November 08, 2016 15:57 - 1 hour - 56.2 MBAbigail Tyson and Sean Baptiste from Adult Swim's Lunchtime Games join us for a toaster pastry throwdown! Cullen walks us through the Do's and Dont's of consuming toxic items in your pantry. Dan spreads the good word of "Freeze 'Em, Then Eat 'Em!" dessert Pop-Tarts. Jesse champions the classics in his most fired-up episode yet.
Episode #133 - Best Sidekick
November 02, 2016 18:21 - 1 hour - 69 MBIt's a controversial companion clash this week on [BRACKET!]. Jesse cooks up some waffles with Chewbacca, while John drops some bees down claymation knickers. Cullen teaches us some famous Dreamworks catchphrases, and Dan throws Samwise into whatever that dumb mountain from the Lord of the Rings is called. Misty Mountain? Mount Doom? I don't know. Don't @ me.
Episode #132 - Best Witch
October 26, 2016 02:32 - 1 hour - 73.2 MBFriend of the show and illustrator Irene Koh returns for our final Spooky Month episode to decide which witch frightens us the most! Jesse REALLY wants to see Blair Witch already, while John recounts his time spent with Wicked. Cullen just wants a sandwich.