Bodice Tipplers

The Lady's Tutor by Robin Schone

Welcome to Robin Schone's The Lady's Tutor.  She's a wealthy Victorian politician's wife, proper in every way.  He's a halfbreed bastard... oh god I can't with this racist book, I just can't.  It's about a woman who asks for sex lessons with no lab component, and then she realizes her husband sucks and opts for the lab after all.   This is one Sara had very fond memories of that... did not necessarily hold up.  It has some major content warnings - it's got Evil Gays complete with political...

Peyton Place by Grace Metalious

Today we have a special treat for you - we got Henry from FireStarters  to read Grace Metalious' Peyton Place with us and let me tell you... it's a real Peyton Place in there. I honestly can't even describe the plot of this book so let me just give you the trigger warnings, I guess?  So this book is trying really hard to shock you, which shouldn't shock you - the stuff that isn't intentional in it, therefore, is... more shocking?  So on that front look out for rampant 1950's racism that th...

Honor's Splendour by Julie Garwood

Meet gentle Lady Madelyne, kidnapped by the studly Baron Duncan!  Meet a lot of people whose names we cannot recall!  Wonder why "honor" is spelled the American way but "splendour" got that extra u!  Thrill to dastardly deeds, "dastardly deeds" if you know what I mean, and last minute court intrigue for no reason!  It's Honor's Splendour by Julie Garwood, a special listener request! Trigger warnings include seriously dodgy depictions of mental illness, Evil Gays, offscreen-before-times se...

Fancy Pants by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

We have had all our shots and we are back in the same room so get ready for some seriously overexcited people!  (That would be us but it would also be the people in this book.)  Fancy Pants by Susan Elizabeth Phillips - she's a British socialite with big "See You Next Tuesday" energy, he's a hot redneck golfer with a self esteem problem, they slap each other in parking lots more than the average couple does!  Secret babies!  Imaginary Jack Nicklaus!  Real Jack Nicklaus!  Riches to rags to ri...

Special Edition - To Love and to Loathe by Martha Waters

We're back with Martha Waters for her second book, To Love and to Loathe!  If you remember, Martha had the unique bad luck to release her first book the week the world ended last year, and it's been so long that she's back with a sequel. The widowed Diana, Lady Templeton and Jeremy, Marquess of Willingham are infamous among English high society as much for their sharp-tongued bickering as their flirtation. One evening, an argument at a ball turns into a serious wager: Jeremy will marry wit...

50th Episode Blowout: The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough

You guys you guys this is it!  This is the big one! We are fifty episodes old and we are going BIG!  We have gotten so many requests for this one - we read The Thorn Birds, you guys, and we're gonna watch the miniseries (check social media for upcoming details about watching it with us!) and we got a secret guest (spoiler: Courtney's secret brother Nate) all the way from Australia, and of course it was a whole ass thing.  We lost Courtney for half of it!  It was a beast, but we had a blast a...

The Leopard Tree by Valerie Parv

 You guys.  We have done it.  We have finally gone so far down the rabbit hole of vintage romance that we have found one that is not on Goodreads.  Welcome to The Leopard Tree by Valerie Parv, reigning queen of Australian romance!  There's a UFO!  It's Australia!  He's a... he's an ex-military rodeo bronco buster and she makes ugly jewelry and has an awful fiancé and she'd like to pretend that he's from outer space but really there's a sad and sordid little crime story!  I dunno, all cramm...

Love Overboard / Ivan Takes a Wife by Janet Evanovich

Yooooo, it's a pre-Plum Janet Evanovich!  It's got capers and slapstick and... business!  Ivan is a schooner captain.  Stephanie is an ex-cop, now cute bread and breakfast owner!  Tess is maybe a ghost!  It's got no major trigger warnings beyond what you'd expect for this sort of madcap comedy business - gggggghosts, cold-ass Maine water, possibly a lie about a shower?, a whole ass town gaslighting this poor woman, bad cooking!  I don't want to give anything away but if you're okay with "scr...

Butterfly Swords by Jeannie Lin

Happy lunar new year!  We rang in the Year of the Ox with Butterfly Swords, which was Jeannie Lin's first book.  It won the Golden Heart Award back in 2009 and started her illustrious career. Ai Li is to be married to the powerful and hawt Li Tao, a scheming jiedushi.  When she discovers his treachery and his murder of her brother she escapes to warn her father, the Tang Emperor.  Except her father isn't really all that fussed about it?  She's helped along the way by Ryam, Noted White Guy....

Lightning That Lingers by Sharon and Tom Curtis

 Y'all, it's our first Loveswept!  She's a children's librarian, he's stripping to fund his owl-rescue habit!  It's incredibly sweet and just wonderful in every possible way, there are no major content warnings, just read this one - trust us.  

Lucky by Jackie Collins

Are... are you actually ready for this?  (We were not.) Get ready for some Jackie Collins all up in your face-parts!  Lucky Santangelo is a boss businesslady who Has Sex.  A whole lot happens in this book - everybody gets married six times, at least one hotel is opened, dirty deeds are done on yachts....  I honestly do not know how I could possibly describe the plot.  I can tell you that if you are sensitive to literally any content whatsoever you should not read this book because it has i...

Special Edition - Single and Forced to Mingle

We were asked if we'd like to interview Melissa Croce about her new book, Single and Forced to Mingle - a guide to what to do if you're unattached and have to go do things.  (Somebody remind me what doing things is like?  I think I've forgotten!) It comes out today, so go get a copy wherever you buy your books! 

Humbug Man by Diana Palmer

Happy holidays, y'all!  We all needed something a little... lighter.  Something a little more... snowy.  Something with a mustache.  Enter Diana Palmer's The Humbug Man, the tiniest little book that packs the most chest hair!  He's another ranchin' Tate (why is that a trope?) who hates kids and loves ranchin' (childfree.)  She's a secretary who moved to Arizona to be close to Montana who needs some deep dicking, stat, but isn't going to get any until the last two pages.  It's really sweet a...

Secrets and Lies by Selena Montgomery AKA Stacey Abrams

He's a cat burglar, she's an ethnobotanist, they both get their cardio in and it's Medicine Man has a weirdly paced baby with Romancing the Stone!  On this special Thanksgiving episode we give genuine thanks to Stacey Abrams for her tireless work flipping the state of Georgia oh my freaking god you guys!  And if you'd like to thank a black woman for doing a hard grimy job nobody else wanted to do, don't give her more work to do - give her money!  Go buy her books! No major trigger warnings...

The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice

It’s spooky season you mofos! That means a creepy book. This year we leave the world of ghost banging and half assed witches to deep dive into vampires! Buckle Up because we are riding the Vampire Lestat train. The follow up to Anne Rice’s 1976 book, Interview with a Vampire, is all about that vampy rock and roll lifestyle. Published in 1985 this book is a bedazzled and spandex approach to what to do when you are undead.  Featuring special guest Dr. Claire Mischker, we take an EXTREMELY DE...

Mary Renault's The Persian Boy

Ever get super horny for Alexander the Great, conqueror of worlds?  You will.  Join us as we get classical up in here with Mary Renault's 1972 The Persian Boy, a book about a traumatized teenager whose vast ambition centers entirely on jumping Alexander's bones.  Heads up - this book's got all sorts of traumatic historical stuff in it including but not limited to forced castration, rape, enslavement, and up close and personal war. We are honored to have a special guest for this episode - J...

The Persian Boy by Mary Renault

Ever get super horny for Alexander the Great, conqueror of worlds?  You will.  Join us as we get classical up in here with Mary Renault's 1972 The Persian Boy, a book about a traumatized teenager whose vast ambition centers entirely on jumping Alexander's bones.  Heads up - this book's got all sorts of traumatic historical stuff in it including but not limited to forced castration, rape, enslavement, and up close and personal war. We are honored to have a special guest for this episode - J...

Dreaming by Jill Barnett

She's a public menace, he's trying his best to be a devil may care rake but keeps landing on "that cat in the Pepe le Pew cartoons" - it's Dreaming by Jill Barnett, a book with surprise witches, a shocking number of shipwrecks and kidnappings, and a cautionary tale about staying away from people who are "clumsy as a character trait".   No major warnings for this one unless you count "didn't know this was a sequel until halfway through" and "oh my god somebody save this man".  

Kajira of Gor

We have a very special treat for you this episode! Miss Honey Analverkehr of My Mum is a Pornstar joined us all the way from Australia to talk about a book that had a big impact on her as a young person, John Norman's Kajira of Gor. Note: unfortunately, we had some audio issues with this one (we keep trying different things for these pandemic episodes but they keep on having different problems!) but we felt the content was so great we had to release it even though every time we talk over eac...

Kajira of Gor by John Norman

We have a very special treat for you this episode! Miss Honey Analverkehr of My Mum is a Pornstar joined us all the way from Australia to talk about a book that had a big impact on her as a young person, John Norman's Kajira of Gor. Note: unfortunately, we had some audio issues with this one (we keep trying different things for these pandemic episodes but they keep on having different problems!) but we felt the content was so great we had to release it even though every time we talk over eac...

Green Fire by Stephanie James

For those of you not "in the know", Jayne Ann Krentz (actually Jayne Castle) writes under a ton of pseudonyms and this is one of them.  We wanted to read another one of hers since we HATED Ghost of a Chance. This one does also feature a very alpha dominant male, but other than the Romance Novel Peril and some kind of questionable breaking and entering there's nothing gross in this book. This episode is sponsored by Kensington Books and The Rebellious Rancher by Kate Pearce, available where...

These Old Shades by Georgette Heyer

She's a feisty hoyden disguised as a boy!  He wears pantyhose and makes it look good!  It's the court of Louis XV (we totally get it wrong in the podcast!)  We're still on Zoom and we apologize for the audio quality!  That's right, it's a real romance classic - we read Georgette Heyer's These Old Shades, a book with a skeevy age gap, some grossly flippant talk about miscarriage, a good old Romance Novel Kidnapping, and the kind of people who are obviously aristocrats because they are attract...

Fanta C by Sandra Brown

Welcome to Sandra Brown's Fanta-C, which should have been a sweet contemporary romance from the 80's but is actually kind of fucking disturbing in the weirdest and most unexpected way.  Meet Elizabeth, a prissy lady who wears pantyhose and slips and owns a store that sells potpourri for your mistress, and Thad (THAD!), a silver fox who has puppies at his house.  This is actually a great little book about a lady who has a rich dirty fantasy life but struggles with real life, except WARNING th...

Fanta C

Welcome to Sandra Brown's Fanta-C, which should have been a sweet contemporary romance from the 80's but is actually kind of fucking disturbing in the weirdest and most unexpected way.  Meet Elizabeth, a prissy lady who wears pantyhose and slips and owns a store that sells potpourri for your mistress, and Thad (THAD!), a silver fox who has puppies at his house.  This is actually a great little book about a lady who has a rich dirty fantasy life but struggles with real life, except WARNING th...

Julie Garwood's The Bride

Jamie is fiery!  She has a horse named Wildfire that she likes to ride bareback!  She is beloved by all and has zero flaws except... a terrible sense of direction! Alec is... large!  And rude!   And none of these people know a damn thing about medieval Scotland!  You got it, it's Julie Garwood's The Bride!

The Bride by Julie Garwood

Jamie is fiery!  She has a horse named Wildfire that she likes to ride bareback!  She is beloved by all and has zero flaws except... a terrible sense of direction! Alec is... large!  And rude!   And none of these people know a damn thing about medieval Scotland!  You got it, it's Julie Garwood's The Bride!

Blackout

In this episode we take a timeout to reflect on the ghastly history of racial violence in America by doing a deep dive into South Carolina's ugliest past and inviting Leslie from Geeky Girls' Night In and Geeky Girls' Guide to Life to speak. The first two segments carry strong content warnings about murder, legal lynching, and a police shooting mischaracterized as a riot.  If you'd like to skip to Leslie's emotional segment, you can start around the 35 minute mark.  

Irish Thoroughbred

Irish Thoroughbred is Nora Roberts' first book - we wanted to see where one of the richest, most popular authors around got her start.  Well.  It is something. Adelia lives in 16th century Ireland and has lost everything, so she gets on a plane to 1980 and becomes a horse trainer!  Horse girl alert: THIS IS NOT A HORSE GIRL BOOK.  I have read a lot, you guys, a lot of books with horse races in them and I can assure you that these horse races are the least exciting horse races in the world...

Irish Thoroughbred by Nora Roberts

Irish Thoroughbred is Nora Roberts' first book - we wanted to see where one of the richest, most popular authors around got her start.  Well.  It is something. Adelia lives in 16th century Ireland and has lost everything, so she gets on a plane to 1980 and becomes a horse trainer!  Horse girl alert: THIS IS NOT A HORSE GIRL BOOK.  I have read a lot, you guys, a lot of books with horse races in them and I can assure you that these horse races are the least exciting horse races in the world...

To Have and to Hoax

We had the opportunity to try something new - we were asked if we'd like to interview debut author Martha Waters about her book To Have and to Hoax, you know, back then when the world was young and we were allowed to leave our houses.  Martha was really nice and we feel really bad that all her fun book release party stuff got cancelled - however, she's doing a virtual launch Tuesday April 7th on Instagram at 7 PM EST so maybe go join her there.   To Have and to Hoax is a Publisher's Week...

Anne McCaffery's Dragonflight

Let us make your social distancing easier with tits and dragons! Join us in your isolation suite with my last 4 for 40 - Anne McCaffery's Dragonflight.

Dragonflight by Anne McCaffery

Let us make your social distancing easier with tits and dragons! Join us in your isolation suite with my last 4 for 40 - Anne McCaffery's Dragonflight.

Bloodline by Sidney Sheldon

This isn't really a romance novel - for you young people, this is an extinct breed.  It's an airport book.  It's about rich people doing awful rich people things and it never forgets to mention a brand name.  It's about Poor Little Rich Girl Elizabeth whose father seems to have accidentally set up a tontine in the family business - only one of her cousins is actually trying to murder her but honestly, they all want to and it might as well have been any of them so does it really matter which ...

Sidney Sheldon's Bloodline

This isn't really a romance novel - for you young people, this is an extinct breed.  It's an airport book.  It's about rich people doing awful rich people things and it never forgets to mention a brand name.  It's about Poor Little Rich Girl Elizabeth whose father seems to have accidentally set up a tontine in the family business - only one of her cousins is actually trying to murder her but honestly, they all want to and it might as well have been any of them so does it really matter which ...

Message from Nam by Danielle Steel

Avoid accidentally making eye contact with Paxton Andrews.  If you absolutely must enter a room with Paxton Andrews take extreme precautions so you don't die horribly in the Vietnam War.  It's pretty good for her career as a journalist tho. This one has no sexual assault but it does have a horrible pointless war, an awful murder-suicide, bombings, screaming, howling, and a mammy.  (YES A MAMMY.  Yeah I wasn't expecting that either.) You got it, we're reading Message from Nam as our seco...

Message from Nam

Avoid accidentally making eye contact with Paxton Andrews.  If you absolutely must enter a room with Paxton Andrews take extreme precautions so you don't die horribly in the Vietnam War.  It's pretty good for her career as a journalist tho. This one has no sexual assault but it does have a horrible pointless war, an awful murder-suicide, bombings, screaming, howling, and a mammy.  (YES A MAMMY.  Yeah I wasn't expecting that either.) You got it, we're reading Message from Nam as our seco...

Message from Nam

Avoid accidentally making eye contact with Paxton Andrews.  If you absolutely must enter a room with Paxton Andrews take extreme precautions so you don't die horribly in the Vietnam War.  It's pretty good for her career as a journalist tho. This one has no sexual assault but it does have a horrible pointless war, an awful murder-suicide, bombings, screaming, howling, and a mammy.  (YES A MAMMY.  Yeah I wasn't expecting that either.) You got it, we're reading Message from Nam as our seco...

Message from Nam

Avoid accidentally making eye contact with Paxton Andrews.  If you absolutely must enter a room with Paxton Andrews take extreme precautions so you don't die horribly in the Vietnam War.  It's pretty good for her career as a journalist tho. This one has no sexual assault but it does have a horrible pointless war, an awful murder-suicide, bombings, screaming, howling, and a mammy.  (YES A MAMMY.  Yeah I wasn't expecting that either.) You got it, we're reading Message from Nam as our seco...

The Boyfriend by RL Stine

Monstrous teenagers and teenage monsters!  Thrill as mean teenagers fake deaths, fake zombiefication, fake other deaths, and then can't figure out why nobody likes them!  Chill as everybody has a silly expensive car but no moral compass whatsoever!  It's 2 AM, do your children know how to close and lock a window? Joanna is a stuck up bitch.  Her boyfriend Dex is an insane gaslighting.... secret prosthetic makeup expert?  When Dex falls off a cliff and dies, Joanna keeps seeing him around, ...

The Boyfriend

Monstrous teenagers and teenage monsters!  Thrill as mean teenagers fake deaths, fake zombiefication, fake other deaths, and then can't figure out why nobody likes them!  Chill as everybody has a silly expensive car but no moral compass whatsoever!  It's 2 AM, do your children know how to close and lock a window? Joanna is a stuck up bitch.  Her boyfriend Dex is an insane gaslighting.... secret prosthetic makeup expert?  When Dex falls off a cliff and dies, Joanna keeps seeing him around, ...

Morning Glory

It's LaVyrle Spencer's Morning Glory, a book about not much in particular except the deep meaning of the heart until there's a war and then a... murder framin'?  This book has no nonconsensual sex but it does have a lot of discussion of childhood trauma, the past-tense murder of a sex worker, and some seriously weird slut shaming and then murdering of another woman which is really tonally weird and we expected better of you, LaVyrle. We read this book because Amazing Human Beverly Jenkins ...

Morning Glory by Lavyrle Spencer

It's LaVyrle Spencer's Morning Glory, a book about not much in particular except the deep meaning of the heart until there's a war and then a... murder framin'?  This book has no nonconsensual sex but it does have a lot of discussion of childhood trauma, the past-tense murder of a sex worker, and some seriously weird slut shaming and then murdering of another woman which is really tonally weird and we expected better of you, LaVyrle. We read this book because Amazing Human Beverly Jenkins ...

Holiday Outing

We're continuing our annual tradition of doing a modern gay Hanukkah romance for the holiday!  This time we've got Holiday Outing by Astrid Amara.  This is a sweet little novella about a guy going home for the holidays with the intention of coming out to his parents but getting trapped in a house with way too many aunts and uncles and fucking a gastroenterologist.  Also there's detecting!  And periling!  And art!  Hanukkah Sameach!

Gabriel's Angel

Merry Christmas!  For the holiday we read Nora Roberts' Gabriel's Angel.  Despite this being listed as a Christmas book in Novelist!  Despite this having holly and a fucking snow globe on the cover of the reissue!  THIS IS NOT A GODDAMNED CHRISTMAS BOOK.  I have feelings about this.  BIG FEELINGS.

Sweet Liar

He's a rich Taggart romance-novel-dude powerlifter with a big family and a sweet townhouse!  She's an emotionally locked down country mouse forced by one of those Improbable Wills to go to New York for a few years to investigate a crime that may or may not have happened to her dead or not dead grandmother and then they... put on a show about it.  Seriously, there is no way to describe this book, you just have to experience it.  There's no present-day sexual violence in this book, but her ex-...

Thanksgiving SUPERSPECIAL (featuring Carved in Stone)

Ghost of a Chance

Welcome to our Halloween Episode. Buckle Up Bitches. For this episode we read Jayne Ann Krentz’s Ghost of a Chance. Published in 1984 this book was part of the Harlequin Temptation line. It is one of the earliest in the supernatural romance genre. On paper this book should be a Banger! Our heroine, Anne Silver is out to catch some phony psychics who are really cat burgers. They ran her brother over with a car when he got too close to the truth! For help, Ann enlists the help of an ex CIA ...

Ghost of a Chance

Welcome to our Halloween Episode. Buckle Up Bitches. For this episode we read Jayne Ann Krentz’s Ghost of a Chance. Published in 1984 this book was part of the Harlequin Temptation line. It is one of the earliest in the supernatural romance genre. On paper this book should be a Banger! Our heroine, Anne Silver is out to catch some phony psychics who are really cat burgers. They ran her brother over with a car when he got too close to the truth! For help, Ann enlists the help of an ex CIA ...

Ghost of a Chance

Welcome to our Halloween Episode. Buckle Up Bitches. For this episode we read Jayne Ann Krentz’s Ghost of a Chance. Published in 1984 this book was part of the Harlequin Temptation line. It is one of the earliest in the supernatural romance genre. On paper this book should be a Banger! Our heroine, Anne Silver is out to catch some phony psychics who are really cat burgers. They ran her brother over with a car when he got too close to the truth! For help, Ann enlists the help of an ex CIA ...

Warrior's Woman

Here we go again with my nominee for "Most Likely to Catch an Intervention For Smoking Strawberry-Flavored Crack", Johanna Lindsey!  Finally, we've read one of the kind of books I was really expecting to come across when we started doing this podcast - the kind of book I wrote our long and thoughtful On Language and Consent page about and then for some reason it's turned out we haven't needed it much.  But then we came to this one.  Warrior's Woman by Johanna Lindsey.