Ann Fangio helps divorced Christians heal, love themselves, and find new love (all without going to hell).  Ann is smart, kind, thoughtful, educated, experienced and a ton of fun to talk too.  She will give you insights into relationships, boundaries, limiting beliefs, and of course spirituality.  I’m not a christian, but I’m curious and I like to ask questions, so we get after it.  I literally had a hard time keeping track of all the books, authors, experts and modalities she has in depth knowledge with.  No matter what side of the fence you fall on, if you keep an open mind, you will be more enlightened for listening.

Ann Fangio just wrote a book “Intelligent Dating” which is good for Christians and non-Christians alike.  Find Anns stuff here!:

https://intelligentdatingbook.comhttps://intelligentdatingmasterclass.comhttps://betterbeliefsnow.com

Show notes:

Go to Ann’s FB page and you will see Lasting Love Ministries and a counselor.  Ann is a devout Christian.  

There is a lot of hurting Christians that need guidance…  Tell me about that.  

The man rules and the women submits and that is not what the bible says.  The Jewish laws are very kind to the women and women were looked after very well.  This mentality we seem to have in the Christian community…  is very oppressive, and it hurts the relationship.  Men are being harmed just as much as women are being harmed and the kids.  …I, as a divorced Christine, want to help do is spread the word that god doesn’t hate you…

She is fluent in scripture and verses…  

Ann’s message is, “How do we bring peace back to (divorced Christians) people?  “When I first got divorced I thought I was going to burn in hell.”  “Literally.”

I (Mischa) don’t have a religious back ground I’m more of a recovery/12 step frame of reference.

“BTW I’m a Christian counselor who cusses.”  Her opinion of the 12 steps.  It’s God without the bible.  It’s the purest form of religion.  

30 yrs ago an older women (65 or 70 yrs old) hands her a book.  And it gave her god back.  It explained how divorce is not the ultimate sin…  The author, it was a Church of Christ preacher going against everything (Christians) have been taught.  It was a very profound moment for her.  

Another fun book she recommends… Gretchen Baskerville, “The Life Saving Divorce”.  Divorce is a system, it’s a game…  And not designed for the financial good of couple.  Prenups are good, set them up when you are in love and you’ll be much kinder to each other.

Be willing to tell your partner of your attractions to others if attractions pop up…  Once you speak it out loud it takes a lot of the power away.  “I have to be able to tell you, and you have to be able to tell me, and if we can’t there is a problem in our trust.”  “Do I need to tell my husband every single thing that comes into my head?  No.  But I should be able to.”  She talks about that in her book, “Intelligent Dating”.  “Wouldn’t you want someone to leave you upfront?”  

Intelligent Dating is a blueprint to finding a proper partner…  and it came from experience.  How many divorces and counting?  4!  “Coupling is probably the hardest thing you will ever do in your life.”  

What was the book that changed your perception?  James Edward is the author she thinks.  An in depth study of marriage and divorce.  (Turns out it is John Edwards: An in depth study of marriage and divorce).

She references friends whom have killed themselves coming out of divorces…  “It’s hell on earth or is it hell later?”  “Or are you staying in the relationship and it’s hell.”

My heart was broken by that last relationship.  “I had a dream and the dream was lost”.

…she re-discovers German new medicine.

Breaking down the scripture and how it says divorce is actually ok…

Christians, Marriage, and Divorce…  What a trip!  Christians have some radical dogma to deal with.

The final straw of her last relationship…  She took the paper off of the printer too soon.  

“Children live what they learn… You show them a lack of temperance, compassion and understanding and guess what they are going to grow up and do the same thing.”

You cannot work with someone who thinks that you have to be good enough.  You will always fail to them you will always be short in their eyes…  And she had that habit herself.  How’d she break it?  It was a movie.  “The Banger Sisters”, it made her realize I have to let my kids make their own mistakes.  And she has a cool story with her daughter around it.  

What is your main malfunction when it comes to relationships?  Turns out she's always had choices… Her pattern, it was how she viewed money.  And having “physically bonded” with them before getting married.  Watch out if they kiss good!  Her good senses go out the window if she gets physical too fast.  Don’t bond physically until you know they are a good fit for you.  “When I bond my wisdom takes a hike.  No matter how smart I am.”

Men bond through sex…  Women bond through everything that gets you to sex.  Another book she references John Gottman: The Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work.  (No religious stuff in this one BTW she says.) “You are either moving that person towards you or away from you.”

“If you start begging someone or asking someone to treat you right, or you have to teach them how to treat you right.  Just leave.  It isn’t getting any better”.

Marriage myth: “the second marriage must work”.

Boundaries.  You have a vision of what love is?  Yes… (references M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled).  “Love is an action, love is a verb…”  “If I wouldn’t treat you that way I should not allow you to be treating me that way.”  “Love is Kind, compassionate, thoughtful, setting good healthy boundaries.”  “The Al-Anon people know how to set boundaries!”  “I used to never say no.  People walked all over me.”  “Now it’s only my husbands that do that!”

At my age “I’m more focused on helping people then I am on this one thing I always wanted which was a great relationship.  “I have that great relationship with god now…”

On to the German New Medicine…  Deals with emotional trauma.  “Our bodies are dying to get our attention to address these things.”  “High level control” if we think we’re sick, we will take their pill.  Ryke Geerd Hamer.  

Kyle Cease, Kylego.  She talks some ‘Beliefs”.  What she loves about Kyle is he’s all about the “What if”.  “He uses his gift to bring a message to the world instead of just making money.”  

Her book - Gives you 3 Values Assessments - Her favorite one  helps you find your top ten values, you define what does that value mean to you?  What does it look like when it’s healthy?  What does it look like when it’s unhealthy?  etc… Richard Frankel, Mans Search For Meaning, Logotherapy, Freud, Alfred Adler birth order.  From all of this, if we are living are meaning then we are happy, because happiness is a byproduct of living your meaning.  Soma, Psyche, πνεύμα.  

“What values am I addressing and what values am I ignoring?  What can you implement today? What can you implement this week or this month to start living that value again?  You will find that your happiness is greatly increased.”  

She screwed up a lot as a parent…  But being a parent was the biggest blessing in her life.  

“I didn’t see it as an accomplishment because I new that I could do it.”

I ask her about Muscle testing and Psych K.  She riffs on that a little bit.  “This is the missing piece from talk therapy”.  “The subconscious beliefs actually drive our behaviors”.  “Thats all they ever said, they didn’t tell us how to find them.  They didn’t tell us how to change them…”.  “If we don’t change what’s in our subconscious that it doesn’t matter what we intellectually know, nothing else is going to change.”  We talk some burning in hell :).  This is some real woo woo stuff.  

She’s asked: “What is the biggest loss you’ve experienced in this life?”  “Tears just started stream down my face…  the pain that my poor decisions have caused my children.”  “I release my pain from the past and eagerly await all the good that awaits me now.”  “I hadn’t been connecting, …I had just been hiding all this time.”  

“We just cast off that  limiting belief and we command on the empowering belief in a matter of seconds.”

“I can have the relationship of my dreams and I don’t care!”

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