#54: Emily [Personal Story] - Asking for What You Want

Bi-Sexual Awakening

As early as 10 or 11, Emily felt that she was bi-sexual. Listen as she describes her evolution of feelings, relationships, and sexual interactions.



Coming of Age

At the age of 16, Emily felt ready for sex. Listen as she discusses her life experience in a small-town community. This smaller atmosphere created a sense of little-to-no options for her first sexual encounter.



Going to college, Emily was excited to find freedom for opportunities for relationships and sex. However, she describes her perspective as a return to her experience from her hometown, one of a smaller, closed group without many opportunities for a sexual partner.



College Life

An unrequited emotional infatuation places Emily in a difficult situation involving the pressures of feeling like a virgin and balancing the emotions within a “friends with benefits” situation. Hear Emily describe the evolution of this relationship as it develops and then abruptly comes to a close.



Turning Point

Self-reflection leads Emily to realize that her personal history demonstrates her inclination to pursuing relationships that would inevitably fail and at the same time help her avoid feeling a sense of rejection.



Listen as Emily discusses the development of this personal realization and then works on the personal and emotional change to engage in more positive relationships while accepting the reality of rejection.



Human Sexuality Class

Brave new frontier encouraged by a human sexuality project. Emily’s essay assignment was to do something that was new to her within the realm of sexuality. While the assignment was open to development based on the individual, Emily chose to open a profile on a dating app for more alternative lifestyles.



Emily identified as bisexual and was looking for a threesome. Listen as she describes the development of the relationship with a couple she connected with and met. While non-traditional, Emily was able to experience the deeper emotional relationships that develop between a couple and her own deeper emotional ideas of intimacy.



Turning Point

Honest and positive life changes came from Emily’s experience with the couple. Hear her describe how that non-traditional but honest experience she sought out helped her better understand the importance of pursuing relationships that are more emotionally rewarding and honest because they include the possibility of rejection.



An App Experience

Change in viewpoint, change in pursuits. While Emily had previously used dating apps in her college life, she never really took it seriously. However, after her threesome experience, she developed her intentions, commitment, and bravery to finding and pursuing what she really wanted.



Underlying Insecurities

Progress and emotional states, hear as Emily describes that while she has made progress with her personal relationships, there still exists some of her fundamental insecurities that she continues to work on.



Sexual Understanding

Listen as Emily describes her sexually open upbringing which provided her with a strong foundation and understanding of sex. She emphasizes that key emotional ingredients lie in the differences between theory and practice, or “smelling the food vs. tasting the food”.



Developing the Hunger

Healthy happy sex and developing relationships, Emily highlights the development of her understanding and desires of sex and relationships through her creative metaphor of food.



The Lesson

Emily summarizes that it is essential for personal development and relationships that it is necessary to“ask for what you want and put yourself out there.” And that risk is a necessary component of achieving your personal desires.



More info:



Book and New Course - https://sexwithoutstress.com



Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/

Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/



If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast



Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman

https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/

More info and resources:

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: How to make sex easy and fun for both of you: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast