221 – The Conversation Is Critical, And It’s Up To You!

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The Conversation Is Critical, And It’s Up To You…
First…a word about our sponsor:
This is Friday, and we are privileged to have our Friday episodes brought to you by our sponsor, http://stumptownkilts.com (stumptownkilts.com).  Listeners of this show can get 10% off their entire purchase by using the code:  betterman at checkout.  Just go to http://stumptownkilts.com (stumptownkilts.com), do your shopping, pick out your new kilt and enter the code betterman at checkout to receive your discount.  That’s betterman, all one word, all lower case.
I’m proud to have Stump town as a sponsor of this show because I believe in their company and their product.  I own three of their kilts myself and I plan on getting more because there are some colors I don’t have.  You don’t need to iron these kilts, they are made from the best materials with the most innovative designs.  Like the huge hidden pocket, adjustable sizes, and snap-on accessories.  So don’t wait, summer is here and it’s time to wear your kilt.  Support this show by going to http://stumptownkilts.com (stumptownkilts.com) today.
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On this show we talk about things that have to do with the act of being a man.  The character of men.  We talk about the role men have and the responsibility that comes along with it.  The reason we do this, is because someone has to.  I think one of the problems of our society is that somewhere along the line people in general just stopped talking about what manhood means.  So, that’s one of the things we do here.
Before the modern era, before people were so busy and so engrossed in technology I think it was a more regular part of the conversation.  Sons grew up in their fathers shadows with uncles and neighbors and other male members of the community all around them, having conversations with them.  The expectations of becoming a man were clear, and spoken, and demonstrated. 
In those days a boy looked forward to becoming a man and being a contributing member of the community.  He looked forward with great anticipation to being recognized and regarded as a fellow man in the tribe.  Like I said though, somewhere along the line in the past hundred years I think people in general just stopped talking about it as much.
Nowadays Dads are too busy.  Uncles and neighbors are also busy, and not a constant presence in a boy’s life.  Much of a day’s time is spent with everyone starring at the television, or their phone, or a computer screen.  What little time is left for conversation is rushed and concentrated on immediate concerns.  There isn’t time to have deep meaningful, philosophical discussions about life.
As a result, many boys grow up with no real guidance or direction.  They emulate their peer group, older boys, music and sport idols, people they see in movies.  These guys are instilled with an artificial and superficial concept of what masculinity is.  They lack confidence because they have never really done anything to develop it.  Self esteem and self awareness are in short supply because they have not taken the time to know themselves.  They eventually grow up, make babies, and then start the cycle all over again with their own children.  It’s all quite tragic from a societal standpoint.
That’s why this podcast exists; to re-ignite the conversation.  I’m generalizing a great deal here.  What I am describing is the worst situation, but there are many degrees of this.  Many of you listening will identify with all, or perhaps just parts of what I’m saying.  Some of you may not identify with it at all, but you are in the minority.  You are the fortunate few who have a different experience, but this is everyones problem.  It’s everyones problem because it affects our society as a whole.  It affects the world our loved ones live in.
I want to acknowledge all of you guys who listen to this podcast.  All you

The Conversation Is Critical, And It’s Up To You…
First…a word about our sponsor:
This is Friday, and we are privileged to have our Friday episodes brought to you by our sponsor, stumptownkilts.com.  Listeners of this show can get 10% off their entire purchase by using the code:  betterman at checkout.  Just go to stumptownkilts.com, do your shopping, pick out your new kilt and enter the code betterman at checkout to receive your discount.  That’s betterman, all one word, all lower case.
I’m proud to have Stump town as a sponsor of this show because I believe in their company and their product.  I own three of their kilts myself and I plan on getting more because there are some colors I don’t have.  You don’t need to iron these kilts, they are made from the best materials with the most innovative designs.  Like the huge hidden pocket, adjustable sizes, and snap-on accessories.  So don’t wait, summer is here and it’s time to wear your kilt.  Support this show by going to stumptownkilts.com today.

__________________________________________

On this show we talk about things that have to do with the act of being a man.  The character of men.  We talk about the role men have and the responsibility that comes along with it.  The reason we do this, is because someone has to.  I think one of the problems of our society is that somewhere along the line people in general just stopped talking about what manhood means.  So, that’s one of the things we do here.
Before the modern era, before people were so busy and so engrossed in technology I think it was a more regular part of the conversation.  Sons grew up in their fathers shadows with uncles and neighbors and other male members of the community all around them, having conversations with them.  The expectations of becoming a man were clear, and spoken, and demonstrated. 
In those days a boy looked forward to becoming a man and being a contributing member of the community.  He looked forward with great anticipation to being recognized and regarded as a fellow man in the tribe.  Like I said though, somewhere along the line in the past hundred years I think people in general just stopped talking about it as much.
Nowadays Dads are too busy.  Uncles and neighbors are also busy, and not a constant presence in a boy’s life.  Much of a day’s time is spent with everyone starring at the television, or their phone, or a computer screen.  What little time is left for conversation is rushed and concentrated on immediate concerns.  There isn’t time to have deep meaningful, philosophical discussions about life.
As a result, many boys grow up with no real guidance or direction.  They emulate their peer group, older boys, music and sport idols, people they see in movies.  These guys are instilled with an artificial and superficial concept of what masculinity is.  They lack confidence because they have never really done anything to develop it.  Self esteem and self awareness are in short supply because they have not taken the time to know themselves.  They eventually grow up, make babies, and then start the cycle all over again with their own children.  It’s all quite tragic from a societal standpoint.
That’s why this podcast exists; to re-ignite the conversation.  I’m generalizing a great deal here.  What I am describing is the worst situation, but there are many degrees of this.  Many of you listening will identify with all, or perhaps just parts of what I’m saying.  Some of you may not identify with it at all, but you are in the minority.  You are the fortunate few who have a different experience, but this is everyones problem.  It’s everyones problem because it affects our society as a whole.  It affects the world our loved ones live in.
I want to acknowledge all of you guys who listen to this podcast.  All you guys that read books and seek out other resources related to your improvement as a man and as a person.  Congratulations!  You belong to a percentage of humanity that is instinctively concerned and aware.  You understand that you can and should strive to be a better man, not just for your own sake, but for the sake of everyone you love and for humanity at large.  If you weren’t concerned with these things, you wouldn’t be here.
That is step one; being engaged and aware and concerned.  Step two is that each of you need to take up the torch and continue the conversation wherever you are. In whatever circles of people you find yourself in.  I am happy to lead the charge with this podcast, but I am only one voice. 
Earlier I mentioned that somewhere people in general stopped talking about what being a man means.  If people don’t talk about it, then people don’t think about it.  If people don’t think about it—it begins to lack significance and importance.  It fades into irrelevance in the big picture.  Then one day we wake up and there are a majority of men who have no real understanding of who or what they are.  What their role is, what their responsibilities are, the importance of their example.  That’s where we are today.
What I’m telling you guys today is that your voice matters, in fact it is vital.  You are the dads and uncles and neighbors I spoke of earlier.  You guys listening to this podcast are the male role models of your community.  I can give you things to think about and talk about.  I can provide concepts for you to ponder, but then you have to have conversations with other people.  Look for opportunities to discuss what being a man means with other men. 
Demonstrate to the people around you what it looks like to be a man.  Demonstrate through your words and actions what it means to be a better man than you were yesterday.  When you do that my single voice is multiplied by hundreds, or thousands.  When that happens there will be an impact.
There are many, many strategies you can use.  I watched a video the other day where a senior millennial guy was talking about breaking the dependency and addiction on smart phones because that’s a real problem with that generation.  He said whenever he and his friends get together or go somewhere they all leave their cell phones at home.  This forces human interaction.  It forces conversation and relatedness.  I think it’s brilliant, I posted it on the Facebook page if you want to watch it.
Another strategy is to prepare conversation starters.  You know like three or four questions you have ready to ask someone when there is an opportunity.  What if you asked someone questions like; If they remember the moment when they became a man?  What’s the best part of being a man?  what is a man’s biggest responsibility?  What’s the biggest challenge men face today?  What’s the real difference between a man and a boy?
The point of these questions isn’t what their answer is.  The point is to start a conversation, a conversation that will provide you an opportunity to exchange your thoughts and ideas.  Suddenly you are talking about manhood, thinking about it, and raising it up in your consciousness.
Yet another strategy is to tell people about this podcast, and other great resources you have found.  Spread the word, share the things that are talked about here and see where it leads.
How you carry this conversation to your community is only limited by your imagination.  However, one thing that I believe is paramount, is to never ever forget that wherever you go, whatever you do, you are the example of manhood for whoever happens to be watching you.  That is an extreme responsibility that cannot be overstated. 
As you go out into the big world join me in re-igniting this conversation wherever you are.  Make the time to have meaningful discussions.  Be an example for other men and demonstrate what being a man means with your words and actions.  Add your voice to mine and deliver this message to the world around you.  That is what will have an impact.  In the process you will also be a better man than you were yesterday.
Check out the links below and remember, you can always write me at:  [email protected].
Hey remember to to check out my new book, Forging A Man, available right now on Amazon.

 (GET THE BOOK HERE)
Also, please take time to check out the MANLY RESOURCE CENTER, in the menu tab at the top of the page.  Or, click on these links.
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