180 – Ambassadors Of Manhood

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First…The young Ram in the picture is of no real relevance to the episode.  My usual picture generator was down, and I had this picture of the Ram, whose name is Gorge because he eats a lot, and I decided to use it.
I will start off today by congratulating and acknowledging the winner of the Epic Kilt contest.  In case you missed it, the sponsor of our Friday episodes; Stump Town Kilts, was kind enough to put one of their awesome kilts up as a prize for a contest.
We had the contest, and the winner was…Terri Roe.  That’s Teri with an I, yep…she’s a woman.  There were no gender restrictions on the contest and she wasn’t the only woman who entered.  And now, Terri is going to be the proud owner of her very own Stump Town Kilt.  There is a video I made of the drawing on the Facebook page, so head over there and take a look at it.  There is a link to the Facebook page in the show notes as well.
If you are not that familiar with kilts you may not even know that women wear them…but they do.  They are subtly different than a man’s kilt though.  If you go to their website at http://stumptownkilts.com (stumptownkilts.com), you can see the difference for yourself.
While you are there, you may as well do some browsing on your own behalf.  I’m telling you, these are the best kilts you can get in my opinion.  They are designed with the person wearing them in mind.  One of my favorite features is the huge hidden pocket right in the front, it holds a ton of stuff and it is not even recognizable as a pocket. 
I like these kilts so much that I own three of them.  If you ever thought of getting a kilt, stop putting it off, now is the time.  And, as a listener of this program you get a discount.  Just go to http://stumptownkilts.com (stumptownkilts.com), pick out your new kilt, and then when you are checking out enter the code;  betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your purchase.
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I saw an interesting post today on the Facebook page of a friend of mine named Wally Carmichael, and fellow man-centric podcaster, in fact I was a guest on his show once.  The podcast is called https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/men-of-abundance-the-pay-it-forward-community/id1131496533?mt=2 (Men of Abundance), you should check it out. 
Anyway, he presented a scenario, I gathered that it was something he witnessed, about a dad taking his sons into a dive shop.  He bought them all new diving masks, and then he said to his sons;  “Now don’t tell mom…this is our little secret.” 
He was obviously trying to bond with his sons a bit by including them on this secret purchase.  But he was also obviously trying to keep the fact of this purchase from his wife.  So the question presented with this scenario is, was that wrong of the father to do?
It was a good scenario to bring up, because this sort of thing happens all the time.  Especially with single dads who only get their kids twice a month or something.  A lot of dads do this kind of thing from time to time, it seems innocent in the moment.  It is an ancient technique of building alliances…if you share a secret with someone, you automatically share an alliance with them as well.
You can probably guess what my opinion of this whole thing is.  I didn’t comment on the thread because I was busy, but if I would have, I would have said the fathers actions were absolutely incorrect. 
I have probably been guilty of something like this myself when my kids were young, I’m not judging your character if you have done something like this, but its is a good thing to think about, so that maybe it won’t happen again.
The main thing wrong with this scenario is that the father is setting a horrible example.  He is setting an example of a husband that keeps secrets from his wife, which is an example of misalignment in their marriage.  They obviously aren’t functioning like a team. 

First…The young Ram in the picture is of no real relevance to the episode.  My usual picture generator was down, and I had this picture of the Ram, whose name is Gorge because he eats a lot, and I decided to use it.
I will start off today by congratulating and acknowledging the winner of the Epic Kilt contest.  In case you missed it, the sponsor of our Friday episodes; Stump Town Kilts, was kind enough to put one of their awesome kilts up as a prize for a contest.
We had the contest, and the winner was…Terri Roe.  That’s Teri with an I, yep…she’s a woman.  There were no gender restrictions on the contest and she wasn’t the only woman who entered.  And now, Terri is going to be the proud owner of her very own Stump Town Kilt.  There is a video I made of the drawing on the Facebook page, so head over there and take a look at it.  There is a link to the Facebook page in the show notes as well.
If you are not that familiar with kilts you may not even know that women wear them…but they do.  They are subtly different than a man’s kilt though.  If you go to their website at stumptownkilts.com, you can see the difference for yourself.
While you are there, you may as well do some browsing on your own behalf.  I’m telling you, these are the best kilts you can get in my opinion.  They are designed with the person wearing them in mind.  One of my favorite features is the huge hidden pocket right in the front, it holds a ton of stuff and it is not even recognizable as a pocket. 
I like these kilts so much that I own three of them.  If you ever thought of getting a kilt, stop putting it off, now is the time.  And, as a listener of this program you get a discount.  Just go to stumptownkilts.com, pick out your new kilt, and then when you are checking out enter the code;  betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your purchase.

____________________________________

I saw an interesting post today on the Facebook page of a friend of mine named Wally Carmichael, and fellow man-centric podcaster, in fact I was a guest on his show once.  The podcast is called Men of Abundance, you should check it out. 
Anyway, he presented a scenario, I gathered that it was something he witnessed, about a dad taking his sons into a dive shop.  He bought them all new diving masks, and then he said to his sons;  “Now don’t tell mom…this is our little secret.” 
He was obviously trying to bond with his sons a bit by including them on this secret purchase.  But he was also obviously trying to keep the fact of this purchase from his wife.  So the question presented with this scenario is, was that wrong of the father to do?
It was a good scenario to bring up, because this sort of thing happens all the time.  Especially with single dads who only get their kids twice a month or something.  A lot of dads do this kind of thing from time to time, it seems innocent in the moment.  It is an ancient technique of building alliances…if you share a secret with someone, you automatically share an alliance with them as well.
You can probably guess what my opinion of this whole thing is.  I didn’t comment on the thread because I was busy, but if I would have, I would have said the fathers actions were absolutely incorrect. 
I have probably been guilty of something like this myself when my kids were young, I’m not judging your character if you have done something like this, but its is a good thing to think about, so that maybe it won’t happen again.
The main thing wrong with this scenario is that the father is setting a horrible example.  He is setting an example of a husband that keeps secrets from his wife, which is an example of misalignment in their marriage.  They obviously aren’t functioning like a team.  Even if he isn’t telling his sons to lie exactly, only to not say anything, he is still condoning a form of dishonesty. 
I don’t want to make too big of a deal about it.  There are lots worse examples a father can be, he is not the worst father of the year or anything.  The reason I’m talking about it is because it is a really good illustration of how we can be a bad example sometimes without even realizing it.
I’ve said many times in other episodes that one of the greatest callings of a man, is the kind of example he is.  Somebody is always watching us everywhere we go.  If not our kids, maybe someone else’s kids, or your neighbors or your co-workers, or the guy in line at Starbucks.  Someone is always watching us, and in that moment, we are the example of manhood. 
Each one of us are the ambassadors of manhood everywhere we go.  The things we do and say influence other people.  We are representing not only ourselves and our families, but other men too. 
You know what I mean, because all of us have had to deal with negative stereotypes about men at one time or another in our lives…why?  Because there are a lot of guys out there being a bad example, being poor ambassadors. 
Thats why its important.  Every time you set a good example as a man, it will help whoever is watching you in that moment, know that there are good men in the world.  If that person happens to be a man, you may even inspire them to be better.  That is how we make the world a better place one man at a time…it starts with being a good example of manhood.
Ok guys, today is St. Patricks Day too so be extra careful.  Head out into the weekend now, but stay focused on the things that matter.  Be mindful and aware of the things you say and do because someone is always watching.  Be a good ambassador of manhood, and at the same time you will be a better man today, than you were yesterday.
Please take time to check out the MANLY RESOURCE CENTER, in the menu tab at the top of the page.  Or, click on these links.
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