“Finding the Courage to Embrace Life After a Son’s Death” – My Interview With Rita Berglund

In 1984, Rita and her husband Brad welcomed a healthy baby boy named Brandon into their family. Only five years later, Brandon began a 20-year battle with brain cancer. They watched as their son became increasingly mentally and physically handicapped.
In June of 2009, Brandon suffered a devastating stroke in the same site as his original brain tumor. With broken hearts, Rita and Brad, made the necessary decisions to set up hospice care. They said goodbye as he “healed into death,” as Rita has so beautifully described it.

Rita shares important lessons that her journey with Brandon taught her about suffering, trust, self-care, courage and so much more.

The following is just a glimpse into Rita’s inspiring insights.

Q: As Brandon's medical crisis turned into a 20-year chronic condition, what did you learn about self-care?
Rita: I think people often misunderstand self-care to mean self-indulgence. I actually think self-care is a form of self-discipline, where you choose to do those things that move you in the direction of health and aliveness, so you can authentically show up.

Q: What did Brandon’s life and death teach you about trust?
Rita: In the medical world, you don't get a choice about trust. You have to sign over your child to surgeons and doctors and nurses really on blind faith. We found a place of existential faith that we were all going to do the best we could. We chose to trust what you couldn’t see, what we couldn’t understand and what we couldn’t control.

Q: How did you learn to be OK with receiving help from others?
Rita: When we truly engage in the mutual act of giving and receiving, it brings us into an awareness of the interconnectedness of all things. And it tears down our illusions of being separate.

Q: How are you different as a result of going through the pain of Brandon's illness and death?
Rita: I think how I have changed or been transformed has to do with letting go of everything that's not me. And letting go of all of the attachments we collect growing up about what we're supposed to be and do in the world. I think that's an ongoing journey to become more and more transparently and authentically the person I'm divinely birthed into being on the planet.

When I ask if there’s one last thing she’d like our listeners to hear, Rita says, “When we look at the world, it's really easy to be so discouraged that we want to numb out or shut down. This is really a time when I am called to continue to be love and light in the world in whatever way it's given to me to do that. And to trust in the larger mysterious reality that is divine and intended for love and life and aliveness at its very best.”

Rita Berglund is a psychotherapist and retreat leader based in Centennial, Colorado. She is the author of An Alphabet about Kids with Cancer.

About Rita Berglund
In 1984, Rita and her husband Brad welcomed a healthy baby boy named Brandon into their family. Only five years later, Brandon began a 20-year battle with brain cancer. They watched as their son became increasingly mentally and physically handicapped. In June of 2009, Brandon suffered a devastating stroke in the same site as his original brain tumor. With broken hearts, Rita and Brad, made the necessary decisions to set up hospice care. They said goodbye as he “healed into death,” as Rita has so beautifully described it. Rita shares important lessons that her journey with Brandon taught her about suffering, trust, self-care, courage and so much more.

Find Rita online: http://www.ritaberglund.com

Rita’s Book: An Alphabet about Kids with Cancer

Book Mentioned in the Interview:
Love Is Complicated: A True Story of Brokenness and Healing, by Marlena Fiol, to be released summer 2020

About Marlena Fiol, PhD
Marlena Fiol, PhD, is a globally recognized author, scholar and speaker. She is a spiritual seeker whose work explores the depths of who we are and what’s possible in our lives. Her significant body of publications on the topic, coupled with her own raw identity-changing experiences, makes her uniquely qualified to write about personal transformational change. She is also a certified tai chi instructor and freelance writer whose most recent work has appeared in numerous literary magazines and newsletters.

You can find Marlena in the following places:
https://marlenafiol.com
Facebook
Twitter: @marlenafiol