Masculine, Feminine, and Attracting Mr. Wrong with Stefanos Sifandos

What behaviors and attributes do we have that are considered masculine and feminine? I know, for me, I tend to have masculine energy about me especially when it comes to my need to achieve goals. But that’s weird, right? I’m a woman after all. Wrong. Masculine and feminine energies are not gender-specific and instead are what make us all human.

 

My guest today on the Be You Podcast is Stefanos Sifandos. Stefanos is a trained educator and relationship expert with a background in behavioral science. He is passionate about leading people to closer to their highest potential and to each other. Stefanos has worked with thousands of men and women from all walks of life; special forces soldiers, Olympic gold medalists, elite fighters, and everyday people have relied on him to restructure and reframe their relationships with themselves and their loved ones. 

 

Today, he shares with us the difference between the masculine and feminine energies and how the balance between the two is crucial to our well being and in our relationships with others. 

Show Notes:

[3:02] - Stefanos shares his background and how he used to deal with pain in trauma. He describes his out of control behavior.

[4:22] - While Stefanos was studying behavioral science and obtaining his Master’s degree in the subject, he felt that he was leading a double life.

[4:58] - Stefanos admits he had several wake-up calls that he ignored. He shares the wake-up call that he finally listened to.

[5:38] - Through this experience, he threw everything away. This included his businesses and circle of friends. He describes his amazing journey.

[7:01] - Stefanos has worked with many amazing people including special forces soldiers, Olympic gold medalists, and elite fighters.

[7:42] - The two things that spring to mind for Stefanos when asked about the common problems women specifically in relationships seem to have are 1) attracting unavailable men and 2) coming from a place of low self-worth that contorts their image.

[8:25] - It is very important that if we are to explore something that is painful, that we create physical and emotional environments that feel safe.

[9:29] - Stefanos describes some ways he helps people feel safe in the environment to resolve what seems unresolvable.

[11:02] - What does “unavailable men” mean? It can mean a lot of different things like physically, emotionally, or spiritually unavailability.

[13:22] - Stefanos explains that he sees women attracting unavailable men and time and time again when learning more about them, he finds that their fathers were absent in their childhood.

[14:28] - We attract the experiences that are regular in our lives because we want to heal from those experiences. We repeat the familiar.

[15:45] - What happens in your life during certain times of crucial development impacts how you behave in relationships as an adult.

[16:29] - Jill shares that she has a somewhat masculine energy due to her tendency to be tough, direct, and very driven.

[17:21] - Masculine and feminine energy is not gender-specific. They are energies that reside in every human being. They are human traits.

[18:01] - Most males have more of a masculine energy. There are biological factors at play, but society and culture also play a role. The same goes for feminine energy in women. But it is not always the case.

[19:11] - If you aren’t balancing your energies, it could heavily impact your behavior.

[23:03] - The unhealthy extreme expression of a masculine energy is when we find ourselves doing so much that we eventually shut down and cause suffering to ourselves and our relationships.

[26:04] - Stefanos and Jill talk about when she feels the most in her feminine energy. 

[27:42] - The things that Jill does that feel feminine are not specifically just for women as energy isn’t gender-specific.

[28:39] - It is important to balance these energies and Stefanos explains that everyone’s balance is different and rarely 50/50. When you can sustain a behavior or specific energy, that’s balance.

[29:46] - By combining the masculine energy of goal-oriented and drive with the more feminine reflection, we can see a lot of personal growth.

[31:28] - These attributes that we assign as masculine or feminine are all part of being human. Without one, we wouldn’t feel fulfilled.

[32:21] - Stefanos discusses some common thread in women who are similar to Jill with her tendency to have masculine energy.

[33:54] - Jill reacts to Stefanos’s description and how it was applicable to her past.

I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is. Thank you for being here today with me on our healing journeys.

Links and Resources: Be You Home Page Jill Herman on Instagram Be You Collective on Facebook My Best Year Ever Workshop Recording

 

Don’t forget to download your free ebook to help you discover how to live a life of POWER, FREEDOM, and JOY! Be You and Break Free From the Opinions of Others by Jill Herman

 

Grow with Stef Website Stefanos Sifandos - Relational Alchemist Facebook Stefanos Sifandos on Twitter Stefanos Sifandos on Instagram Stefanos Sifandos on YouTube