Waves here. You know that feeling when you start doing a podcast on a totally different podcast but then it no longer makes sense to keep doing it that way so you make it its own podcast? Cause that's, like, totally what happened here. What started out as a bonus feature on my podcast Lurk Mode has become it's own ting-a-ling. So if you've been riding with me and MandySays since then or you are just discovering us, we're glad you're listening to the "brand new" Bachelor Massacre podcast.

This wasn't the most exciting episode of The Bachelor but a lot of things did happen. New candidates for Bachelor in Paradise were sent to their next quarantine. We realized MJ's legs were hawt as they were walking her ass the car. Heather Martin's teeth and toes filled screens across America. Matt James did lip calisthenics in turtlenecks like he has done every single episode. And Katie ... well, let's just say the wax on her wings melted as she flew to close to the sun. Do dildos float?

We also figured out our drinking game for this season: take a shot every time Matt sighs. You'll definitely get some time in between flurries but unfortunately when he DOES sigh, there's usually, like, 4 in a row. Make sure you've eaten before you watch.

Please like, follow, subscribe, rate, review and TELL YOUR FRIENDS about your favorite new Bachelor recap. The next episode of Lurk Mode is on the editing table as we speak. Be on the lookout for new episodes of all your favorite Sparse Mansion Media podcasts ✌️