Ask An Iranian
65 episodes - English - Latest episode: 10 months ago -There's nothing sensible about what we're doing — like hosting Iran's #1 English-language podcast... until we can't. So get that hashtag ready #FreeAskAnIranian
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Is it safe to visit Iran?
October 03, 2023 08:25 - 1 hour - 65.1 MBYou have lots of questions about Iran, we know! One of which—maybe the third—is likely to be, “Is it safe to visit Iran?”. If you ask us, we’d say yes. If you ask your Home Office, they’d say no. Sure, it’s complicated, and if you’re reading this any time between 1979 and 2029, it’s even more complicated. Disclaimer about whether it’s safe to visit Iran: We do not, and will never, advocate any travel that contravenes the travel advice provided by your nation’s Home Office. Information about...
Baba, why did you circumcise me?
June 23, 2022 21:38 - 1 hour - 58.1 MBWe put it out to our Iranian audience. We asked them if they prefer their men cut, i.e. circumcised. They mostly preferred it. We also asked them if they think being cut is a good idea. They mostly thought it was a good idea. Lastly, we asked them if they would have their next male child cut. They were kinda 50/50 on this. Where did the enthusiasm for circumcision in Iran go?! The practice of circumcision goes way back — like 15,000 years back. Yes, apparently Egyptians are depicted as perf...
How deep will an Iranian uncle’s love go?
February 14, 2022 18:01 - 45 minutes - 33 MBYou might have uncles, and you might have aunties. Iranians, however, have uncles, and they have uncles, and they have non-uncle uncles. This is because the titles given, differ, depending on the relation. Although this is not unique to Iran, there are many uniquely Iranian things that the world needs to know about Iranian aunts and uncles. What are they? Like any good Iranian uncle, we attempt to get deep into things. In this episode, we discuss the Persian words for aunts and uncles. We a...
WTF are NFTs and why are Iranian artists into them?
January 06, 2022 13:53 - 1 hour - 63.5 MB[NOTE OF WARNING: please read below before setting up an account for NFTs.] How much is a really good replica of a Mona Lisa worth? It might only be worthy of wiping your rear with — which should come as no surprise to you. This is because she’s a one-off work of art, or “non-fungible”. The digital realm has brought many great things with its advent, but until recently, freely replicating information made digital ownership very fungible. This has changed with the introduction of Web 3.0. W...
What’s it like being Christian in a Muslim nation?
December 24, 2021 10:20 - 54 minutes - 41 MBJesus Christ! We love him! Muslims love him! He’s one of the prophets that we Muslims recognise. In fact, in the Quran, he gets mentioned by name 25 times, making him the most mentioned person in the holy book. You might also be surprised to hear that communities of Christians live among Muslims in Iran — yup! Jews too… but we’ll save that for another time. To help us learn what it’s like to be a Christian in a Muslim nation, we called on a Christian — not just any old Christian though. We c...
Are all Iranian men mummy’s boys?
November 26, 2021 16:05 - 1 hour - 46 MBIn Iran we don't refer to somebody as the special child of a family — we refer to them as the golden willy. And, we think that's cute, if not a little sexist. Fret not though dear sisters, because this is not considered a compliment. A golden willy, or "dodool talā" as we say in Persian, can also be described as a mummy's boy. For a gender-neutral term, we say "bache naneh" to imply that a person is spoilt. Now, are there multiple terms in Persian for this because Iranian men are mostly mumm...
What MUST you do in Iran?
November 08, 2021 14:32 - 58 minutes - 42.2 MBNo, this isn't about tourist stuff — no, no, this one is about what you're kinda forced to do in Iran. And yes, you'd be forgiven for thinking that a list of what you must do in Iran would be longer than other nations — but is that strictly true? Well, probably yes. How much more, is something we go deep into, with this episode. As you might expect, there are dress codes that you must respect in Iran (for both men and women), and there are several musts that you won't expect. For example, ...
Farsi or Persian — who’s wrong?
October 24, 2021 12:30 - 37 minutes - 27.1 MBYou might say you speak German, French, or Swahili, but you never say you speak Deutsch, Français, or Kiswahili. This is the logic behind people saying they speak Persian—when saying it in English—as opposed to saying they speak Farsi. Why let logic get in the way of your "feels" though?! You call it what you want! Farsi or Persian, Parsi or Iranian, who cares?! Oh, we do, kinda — enough at least that we'd make a podcast episode about it. To help us get into this much contested topic, we so...
What is the most Iranian thing?
September 08, 2021 07:00 - 1 hour - 50.1 MBThe Americans have obesity, the French have snobbery and the Saudis have hacksaws, but what is the most Iranian thing? To help figure this one out, we called on the help of our audience, and the results... were weird, in parts. We obviously got answers such as Persian rugs, nose jobs, and saffron, but we weren't expecting so many things related to the toilet. So, to help you get familiar with why the most Iranian things are the most Iranian things, be sure to check our website here. Questi...
Fingilish, or is it Pingilish?
August 22, 2021 13:33 - 35 minutes - 26.4 MBYou make sounds — mouth sounds. You make them with intention because you probably want to ask your Pilates instructor if you can swap Tuesdays for Mondays. Other peoples do this, but with different mouth sounds — mouth sounds that have gradually found characters, and gradually become alphabets. This is pretty handy because it'll help you kinda figure out the intentions of peoples with very different mouth sounds. Pingilish (or Fingilish) is the Romanisation of the Persian (or Farsi) languag...
Why do Iranians think we’re better than them?
August 01, 2021 16:12 - 48 minutes - 35.5 MBTo Iranians, ze Germans are foreign, but ze Chinese… well, they're just Chinese! It’s the same with many other nationalities and ethnicities for Iranians in Iran — some are foreign and some are just themselves. This type of categorisation tacitly exists and is just… discriminatory. Yes, it’s kinda racism, but the good kind, right! Iranians will hold certain peoples in high esteem and although they won’t make their prejudices institutional, they will bestow privilege to those deemed foreign. ...
How much do Iranians tip?
July 02, 2021 09:00 - 36 minutes - 26.2 MBYou do it. We do it. Even educated Iranian PhDs do it. Let's do it. Let's show a little extra gratitude. So yes, Iranians do have a culture of tipping, but there are differences. Now, where, when and how should you show this gratitude when tipping in Iran — well, allow us to explain. In this episode we discuss how to tip in Iran by sharing our experience of such moments. We tell you how Iran is similar to other nation with respect to tipping, as well as how it differs. For example, you prob...
Why bother?
June 24, 2021 00:00 - 56 minutes - 40.4 MBWe want your questions, BUT... not those questions! No, we're not talking about the ones where we get asked about where men can meet men in Iran. No, no, it's that one question that we repeatedly get asked. It's asked by our parents, our siblings, our aunts and uncles, and most of our friends. In this episode, we answer that question. We would, however, prefer to answer your questions about Iranians and their culture. We would also prefer, try to get you the Iranian take on things. Regardle...
What do Iranians vote for?
June 17, 2021 19:39 - 41 minutes - 30.2 MBYes, Iran has a functioning democracy, and no, this episode won't help you fully understand its complex structure. We can, however, help you understand that its structure has a presidential role. Yes, every four years Iranians will get out and vote for a candidate to fulfil this role. This year—2021—is one of those years, but rumour has it that not as many Iranians will go and exercise their democratic duties. This doesn't seem to just be a rumour, however! Some of our Iranian audience on In...
What doesn’t happen at Iranian birthday parties?
June 08, 2021 01:59 - 52 minutes - 37.9 MBBirthdays happen to the best of us, and Iranians are no exception. To make things worse, these yearly occurrences won't just happen once a year — no, no... Think about it, there are many Iranian birthday parties. There's your parents' birthdays, your aunts' and uncles' birthdays, your work chums' birthdays, and maybe even your pets' birthdays. In fact, chances are that you're planning for a birthday, or even an Iranian birthday, right now! Celebrations for birthdays are somewhat similar aro...
Can women play football… in Iran?
May 31, 2021 07:00 - 57 minutes - 42 MBIn 2005 our guest, Katayoun Khosrowyar, arrived in Iran, fresh-off-the-boat and completely unaware of how her visit would change the direction of her life, as well as the lives of other Iranian women. This isn't because she turned up without a headscarf and had to borrow another woman's, but more because of her role in shaping women's football in Iran. Questions we also get answers to in this episode What clothing do Islamic women wear when playing football? Can women watch football in a ...
Are All Iranians Hairy?
May 25, 2021 19:35 - 43 minutes - 31.5 MBAn inquisitive English lady by the name of Lucy got in touch with us, hoping to settle a question that has been on her mind. She lives on an artists' residency with an Iranian, and this gentleman seems to have aroused her curiosity. What Lucy is curious to know is, are all Iranians hairy? To help settle at least one part of Lucy's curiosity, we asked our Iranian Instagram followers to help get her an answer to this, and other Iranian hair-related questions. Obviously, our loyal listeners ag...
Flight stories… what’s Iran got?
May 19, 2021 03:30 - 49 minutes - 35.3 MBWhat better way to derive stories than to surround yourself with unfamiliar people, in an unfamiliar place, and with unfamiliar expectations. One specific way in which you can do this is to simply take a flight. Yes, just one trip on a plane is all you need to gain ample resource for reiteration at soirées, thereafter. It is very unlikely that we'll be seeing you at a soirée, so we thought we'd gather our weird and wonderful Iran-related flight stories, right here. Aside from the entertainm...
No?
May 05, 2021 07:33 - 33 minutes - 23.9 MBIranians are not ones for saying no, but occasionally when they do say no, they don't actually say no. Having said that, they will either be polite with you while not saying no or will be impolite with you when indicating no. This is because Iranians, like others around the Middle East, will indicate no, with a "noch". "Noch" is an onomatopoeia describing the sound made by Iranians when responding with a no to a yes/no question. This negative response is mostly accompanied by the raising of...
How do I propose to an Iranian girl?
April 29, 2021 10:49 - 1 hour - 54 MBThis is Amir, minutes after proposing to the girl that's grabbing his face. She said yes, and the day after, Amir went to her parent's house to do it as it should be done in Iran. Don't be Amir — run it by the Iranian parents first. Welcome to part 1 of 34 in a series about Iranian marriage. To start things off, we discuss the Iranian courting custom known as "khaastegaari". If you yearn for an Iranian girl and wish to take her hand in marriage, this episode is for you. Or, if you're just ...
Which Iranian national anthem is which?
April 20, 2021 05:01 - 1 hour - 47.2 MBThe most fun part of any Olympics is when the medals are given and you get to experience the differences between national anthems. Unfortunately, you'll be listening to the American, Chinese and Russian anthems more than you'd like, but on the odd occasion that an athlete from a lesser-known nation wins, the fun begins. When an Iranian wins a medal—usually for wrestling—your ears will be blessed with the fine music of the Iranian national anthem. Look closely at the athlete though, because m...
How do I “fakefast”?
April 13, 2021 06:52 - 57 minutes - 41.7 MBEven the world's fastest-growing religion occasionally needs to take a break. Yes, each year it takes a month-long break and fills it with lots of breakier brakes. Call it a celebration; call it an endurance test — either way, you'll be calling it Ramadan. Although the fundamentals are the same, there are many ways in which different nations go about it. Iran is different, and for many differing reasons, so we wanted to point those differences out. So, until the day that the world's fastest ...
Norooz, Norouz, Nowruz?
April 05, 2021 06:53 - 41 minutes - 29.9 MBTime—it has been said—is a concept, by which we measure our pain. We're gonna say it again... time... is a concept... by which we measure... our pain. Now, let's take that concept (with its accompanying pain) and turn it around. In doing this, we've invented celebrations. Some peoples and cultures mark the measurement of time on a seemingly random time-space moment known as January 1st, and others do so on the Spring Equinox. Iran is one of those places, where its people do the latter. Irani...
Why do Iranians blackface? (feat. Tehran Von Ghasri)
March 28, 2021 14:29 - 1 hour - 51.9 MBColour plays an important role in the social hierarchy, and it's important that everyone knows their place. Such social constructs play an important part in elevating the important people above the lower-level nobodies. Using this construct we wanted to elevate ourselves, which is why we wanted to have a certain guest on the show. This guest, among other many great things, is universally known for his colour. Tehran Von Ghasri is a "blue-tick" American-based comedian and was kind enough to g...
Why do Iranians “hamash” code-switch?
March 04, 2021 21:22 - 53 minutes - 38.5 MBThere are languages you know you speak, and there are bits of other languages that you don't know you speak. New concepts arrive; those concepts get coined, and as and when they get used elsewhere, we see languages evolve. To give yourself an example, simply try speaking English, without using Latin, Greek or, heaven forbid, French. The embryonic stages of this phenomena can be referred to as code-switching. This is the term used to describe somebody alternating between languages among other...
How do I “hodl” Bitcoin in Iran?
February 23, 2021 16:15 - 43 minutes - 31.1 MBIt was Voltaire that once said, "paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value: zero". The US dollar is getting close in that respect, in that $100 in 1913 would only be worth about $3.87 today. In the race to the bottom, however, the Iranian Rial is winning. It took around a 5th of the time for Iran to achieve this decrease. One such purported reason for the invention of Bitcoin in 2008, was to counter this specific situation. Although it is unknown who exactly started Bitcoin, one ...
What $#!± should I not say in Persian?
February 17, 2021 09:45 - 1 hour - 44 MBWhat are the first words you learn when learning another language? It's always the same of course! You learn how to ask if the meat is halal, if the toilets have a botty-hose, and of course, the names of various four-legged animals. After you've impressed any newly-found foreign friends with the names of four-legged animals in their language, they'll likely proceed to teach you more words. Don't be confused though when they follow-up by telling you to never use any of them. In a similar vein...
[redacted] in Iran?
February 09, 2021 22:51 - 56 minutes - 40.2 MBYou're a curious one, aren't you! You're not alone though, you are most likely a human, which means you think things like, "what happens if I put an effervescent tablet in sparkling water?". There are some things that you think about but never act on, such as pushing that man in front of that bus. You don't do it, because you're most likely a human. There are some things you stop yourself from doing, but at times, there are some things others stop you from doing. We had Shanay (most likely a...
What are the weirdest Iranian names?
February 02, 2021 22:58 - 1 hour - 45 MBWhat is the sweetest, most important sound in any language, and why does it have so many variations? Well, according to Dale Carnegie, writer of one of the most popular 20th-century books, that sound is the sound of your own name. If you're new to Iranian names though, you'll likely be making them sound less sweet. Fear not though, this episode can help remedy this, while also enlightening you on the many odd things there are to know about names given to Iranians. In fact, you don't need to ...
What’s the deal with Iran?
January 25, 2021 16:14 - 47 minutes - 34.2 MBAre you bored with the long-running spat between Iran and everyone? Us neither! It's so long-running that academia has kinda coined a word for it. Yes, don't be surprised if you later find out that some Iranian, in some Western university decided to summarise all this hoohaa as "geopolitics". Anywhats, who does geopolitics better than academia? Well, Michael does! The Red Line podcast is Michael Hilliard's baby, and it's grown up fast. This "deep-dive" political podcast recently surpassed 1m...
Do Iranians do it louder?
January 18, 2021 14:41 - 39 minutes - 28.1 MBIt goes without saying that Iranians invented pretty much everything, ever! So it shouldn't come as a surprise that the two-handed finger-snap is better known as the Iranian finger-snap. This method of finger-clicking is not only different, in that it requires two hands, but it's different in that it's loud! In fact, if you listen carefully, you'll currently hear several Iranian grandmothers, sat around a room, finger-snapping to Persian pop music, while their grandchildren do the shoulder s...
Persians vs. Iranians… who wins?
January 12, 2021 18:14 - 1 hour - 46.7 MBWhat somebody identifies as has been all the rage in recent years, but like nearly everything—ever!—Iranians did it first. Since 1935, when Iran ceased to officially be Persia, Iranians have been choosing to refer to themselves as Persians. Throughout the following years, the reasons have changed for why one identifies as Iranian or Persian, and it's exactly this that we wanted to explore. To help you understand more about this matter, we invited two girls that identify as Persian. In fact, ...
How much English can Iranians e’speak?
January 05, 2021 11:56 - 1 hour - 48.1 MBUnfortunately, you don't yet have a Universal Translator, and most likely, you don't have 200 years to wait for one. You do, however, have various translation tools available to you, but... effort... urgh! You've learned English, and you've probably also worked hard for an IELTS 7.5 result, but do Tehran baristas share your ambition of being a polyglot, global citizen? We'll it kinda turns out that they do. Well, at least the one that we spoke with seemed to. We also called up many other pla...
What do Iranians think of America?
December 28, 2020 13:34 - 39 minutes - 28.1 MBThere's beef; there's a whole lot of beef; and there's a meat-feast, at a carvery, on a Sunday, at the Annual Cannibal Conference, level of beef. This is the level of beef that we've arrived at between Iran and America. In this episode, we discuss some of the defining points in the decades of drama between these two nations. We also touch upon how things were once very much the other around. To help see how modern-day Iranians feel about America and Americans, following all this beefery, we ...
What went right in 2020?
December 22, 2020 21:44 - 48 minutes - 34.5 MBWe're "glass-half-full" kinda people, which is why we never look at an empty pistachio shell with a frown. No, no! There are many applications for an empty pistachio shell, and we're sure that we'll find them soon. For those that aren't us though, the year 2020 was like finding that empty pista chio shell — an expected nutty experience. For this episode, we wanted to reflect on the year that has passed, by asking our previous guests, and our audience to reflect on what went right for them. W...
Should I spend the night with a Persian poet?
December 14, 2020 19:04 - 1 hour - 45.2 MBEach year, Light conquers Dark. It's not even a competition! Light is truly a bad-ass battler, and Dark's heart is really never in it. It's for this reason that the bookies will never give you good odds. This is 2020 however, and things could end up going the other way. To help prepare you for a possible Team Light lights-out, we tell you all you need to know about the Night of Yalda, while also foreseeing what 2021 holds. To do this, we use the age-old Iranian practice of reading poems by t...
How do I avoid a hard Irexit?
December 07, 2020 21:45 - 57 minutes - 40.6 MBYou say hello, and we Iranians say goodbye, goodbye, and goodbye. It is an almost ritualistic ending to any gathering and is a practice that you should definitely know about. In this episode we let you know how to delicately announce your departure, and how to respond when your host protests. This practice is so important that we've borrowed a term for it. We call this Irexit, which is short for, the Iranian exit. So, if you're pushed for time when leaving an Iranian gathering, you'll probab...
What does Tehran taste like?
November 30, 2020 14:40 - 1 hour - 46.5 MBCatering to 8.5m Tehran residents with increased exposure to, and an increased expectation for international dishes is tough. Although tough, it's also been one of the reasons behind the capital's recent restaurant industry boom. Yes, part of this boom has been accompanied by Iroonianising the hell out of well known international dishes, but you gotta do what you gotta do. To help us get a taste of what Tehran has to offer, as far as Iroonianised international dishes, we invited the Tehran T...
How do I sweet-talk an Iranian?
November 23, 2020 14:19 - 58 minutes - 41.1 MBWords of affection, for Iranians, will flow out like endless rain into a paper cup. In fact, the Iranian universe is positively overflowing with them — so much so that even the Iranians can't keep up. If you're new to learning about affection in Iranian culture, it's weird; if you're familiar with Iranian culture, it's weird. Regardless of how familiar you are, it's always good to be fresh with your words of affection. To help with this, we put it out to our listeners — asking them to provid...
Taxi stories… what’s Tehran got?
November 16, 2020 00:46 - 56 minutes - 42.3 MBTaxi trips are more than just a means of getting from A to B — they are about the experiences on the journey. Taxi trips in Iran however, are somewhat similar and somehow different. On a taxi journey in Iran, you'll likely be taken through the entire alphabet, but you can at least hop out happy, knowing that you're now 'au fait' on the latest happenings. This is because Tehran's taxi drivers are the most up-to-date resource for politics, the exchange rate, and the latest conspiracy theories ...
How do I move to Iran?
November 09, 2020 22:14 - 1 hour - 54.8 MBA question that has likely crossed your mind this week is, whether you should move to Iran or not. Well, you're not alone. To help those wrestling with this decision we brought in Katya, the woman behind 'Stranger In Tehran'. For ten years or so, this Russian-born lady has been using her platform to collect her experiences of Iran and to help others learn more about the place. For this episode David, our host, and Katya join forces to answer the question, how do I move to Iran? Top 10 thing...
Are Iranians funny?
November 02, 2020 15:46 - 49 minutes - 47.7 MBAs is said in Persian, "Iranians worship strangers", and therefore lavishing them with nuts and tea is a standard. To take it to the next stage however, Iranians need to bring out the compliments and the comedy. In this episode we explore that, and more, with an emerging young Iranian comedian, based in Toronto. Neema Naz joins us to chat about Iranian humour and the contemporary comedy scene, as well as his recent role in the hit TV series, The Boys. So, are Iranians funny? Questions we ge...
What animal will lead the US?
October 26, 2020 15:12 - 1 hour - 58.7 MBYou know how you sometimes look at a person and think, naked mole rat? Well, this episode is kinda mostly about those kinda moments. These moments seem to exist because we, as humans, can't help but attribute animal characteristics to things. This can be based on the way something acts, but seems to be more related to the way something looks. This is precisely the case for the American political parties, what with the Democrats using a donkey, and the Republicans using an elephant. We shamel...
Are Iranian girls players?
October 18, 2020 23:33 - 1 hour - 61.5 MBSo, we recently learned that you can make a living, sitting on your behind and shooting at virtual characters... even in Iran. To help us get out heads around this, we chatted with 'Yeggiz', an Iranian gamer girl, who is doing just that. Unperturbed by the many issues faced by Iranian gamers, she's been gaming, streaming, and vlogging since the pandemic hit. We invited her on the show to not only help bring us up to date but to also help our audience understand the fun and the frustration of...
Am I also expected to die for an Iranian?
October 12, 2020 11:04 - 31 minutes - 30.5 MBThose of you with Iranian friends might have had that moment. You know, the moment when your friend casually suggests that they'll sacrifice him or herself for you. It could have come in response to simply saying goodbye, or maybe after you offered to make them a cup of tea. Either way, this shocking declaration will have you concerned about your Iranian friend's mental wellbeing. No need to worry though, it's just that thing — you know, that thing Iranians do! Like that other thing, you kno...
What the f_@k is with that music?
October 05, 2020 08:11 - 44 minutes - 63.8 MBMost of you love it, and a few of you absolutely hate it. We know this because you've begged us to change it. We're talking about the intro music to our show. To help settle this issue we once again invited Aryo, of The Devil Dog, to provide something new to possibly replace it. Up to now, we have been using Jalal Hemmati's song, "Mahvash Parivash", but all that could change. Listen to this show to hear "What the f_@k is with that music?", and to hear listener feedback on Aryo's alternative....
Do Iranians live in a different time?
September 28, 2020 07:30 - 22 minutes - 32.1 MBNothing about how Iranians perceive time correlates with universally understood principles. Regardless of whether it's years, calendar events in the year, months, weeks, days, or even moments, Iranians will do time differently. So be warned, don't plan a meeting, don't arrange a surprise birthday party, and don't arrange a date with an Iranian until you've heard what we have to say on the matter. Listen in to learn more about why Iranians seem to live in another time. Questions we get answe...
What should I know before dating a Persian girl?
September 21, 2020 14:08 - 1 hour - 92.5 MBYou asked for it, we done did it. We joined forces with the Persian Girl Podcast to discuss the expectations and complications with dating Iranians — or should would we say Persians? Having the Persian Girl Podcast girls join us meant that we were able to present the domain of dating from both the view of men and women. Among other topics, we discuss hidden aspects for Iranians when dating, such as the pressures placed on them by parents and the community. Being based in America, our guests...
What does Tehran sound like at 2:22 AM?
September 14, 2020 10:35 - 40 minutes - 58.4 MBWhat have we done?! That’s a great question — you’re a curious one, aren’t you! Allow us to explain. So we did a prequel show — but didn’t know that it would be a prequel, while making it. We’d scheduled a recording with the American-based Persian Girl Podcast at 2 am Iran-time, but they were a little delayed. The more industrious of the Ask An Iranian duo decided that the unknown amount of delay should use to create content. The other one of the Ask An Iranian duo—not fully realizing what ...
What does Tehran sound like at 2:22am?
September 14, 2020 10:35 - 40 minutes - 58.4 MBWhat have we done?! That's a great question — you're a curious one, aren't you? Allow us to explain. So we did a prequel show — but didn't know that it would be a prequel while making it. We'd scheduled a recording with the American-based Persian Girl Podcast at 2am Iran-time, but they were a little delayed. The more industrious of the Ask An Iranian duo decided that the unknown amount of delay should use to create content. The other one of the Ask An Iranian duo—not fully realizing what he'...