Relationships, Intimacy and Sex with Arthritis

Navigating intimate relationships while managing a chronic illness can be tricky - how and when do you disclose your disability?  How do you experiment with sexual positions without “ruining the mood?” Is it possible to communicate with your partner in a way that’s respectful and empowering?

In this episode, five panelists share their best advice for *all* aspects of romantic and intimate relationships, including: 

Communication tips for all stages of relationships, from first dates to marriageHow to workaround fatigue that makes it hard to get “in the mood”Positions that work for wrist or hip painLubes that work for drynessWorkarounds for jaw pain during oral sexHow do disabilities or health conditions contribute to power dynamics in relationshipsThe importance of emotional connectionsThe importance of self-love and respectWhy STD prevention and protection are particularly important for people on immunosuppressive medicationsPanelists’ best advice for newly diagnosed patients who might be worried about how their condition will affect their sex life and relationships

*Trigger warning - in minutes 30-40 there are descriptions of pressuring and coercion into sex without protection

**This episode discusses adult topics (sex) and includes explicit language.

Minute by Minute breakdown:

Episode breakdown:

02:00 - Introduction to panelists: Chloe, Jo, Ali, Paulina & Cheryl.3:20 - (Chloe) How juvenile arthritis affected her relationships 07:55 – (Jo) How Jo learned the importance of communication11:42 – (Ali) Learning to experiment with positions and work around fatigue16:20 - (Paulina) The importance of communication & emotional connection23:00 - (Cheryl) Reflection on power dynamics in relationships.24:25 – (Chloe) Strong emotional connections affect vaginal lubrication.25:22 – (Chloe) How jaw pain affects oral sex & workarounds, + how fatigue affects sex.33:00 – (Cheryl) The importance of STD testing for partners due to immunosuppression from meds. Experiences feeling pressured in relationships.36:00 – (Chloe) Experiences feeling pressured in relationships. 37:45 – (Jo) Tips for positions and lubricants.39:00– (Ali) Being cautious when dating, how to work around fatigue, tips for positions and communication. 43:14 - (Paulina) Your partner is not a mind reader. Tips for lubricants for sensitive skin & positions.51:00– (Ali) Best adult toys to use for arthritis.53:00- (Chloe) Communication & practicing positions 55:00 – (Cheryl) How sex is an “Activity of daily living” according to occupational therapy. Reflection on sex education now versus in the early 1990s.58:30 – (Paulina) Tips to increase sex drive and address your own pleasure.1:01:00 – (Chloe) Advice for anyone recently diagnosed.1:04:00 (Jo) – Final thoughts and advice, disclosing when you are dating online1:06:00 (Ali) – Final thoughts1:07:00 (Paulina) – Final thoughts and advice

LINKS discussed in the episode

Where to follow panelists on Instagram: Cheryl @Arthritis_Life_Cheryl, Chloe @xchloeumplebyx & @_chronically_happy_ and on Etsy at SpoonfulOfChronic, Jo @thejosphere, Ali @Anotherdaywithra, Paulina @with.paulina and @_chronically_happy_Rheumatoid Arthritis Online course - link for the waitlist! Versus arthritis - Sex & Arthritis bookletRA and Intimacy article from Arthritis FoundationCitation: 70% do not reach orgasm (climax) through penetration alone and require clitoral stimulationVibrator recommended: Satisfyer Pro Traveler - Clitoral VibratorFree Handout: Cheryl’s Master Checklist for Managing RACheryl’s Facebook group: Arthritis Life Podcast, Practical Tips & Positive, Realistic SupportThis episode is brought to you by the Rheumatoid Arthritis Roadmap, your guide to a full life with RA. It’s an online program Cheryl created to give people tools to confidently manage their social, emotional and physical life with rheumatoid arthritis.Medical disclaimer: All content found on the Arthritis Life public channels was created for generalized informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

*For full speaker bios, see www.myarthritislife.net