Arms Race Podcast
118 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 6 ratingsTwo friends attempt to determine once and for all which action star has the highest body count in movie history -- currently, by watching every Sylvester Stallone movie one at a time. Formerly the Bad Puns and Machine Guns Podcast.
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Episodes
Episode 52 - Maternal Affairs (Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot)
February 27, 2019 03:49 - 1 hour - 43 MBWe're visited by an unwelcome guest on the latest episode of the Arms Race podcast, in the form of the Sylvester Stallone comedy Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! Will Mike and Kevin find the culprits behind this heinous act of cinematic criminality? Will they decipher the clues hidden among the mountain of baby photos and pineapple chunks? Or will the Case of the Vanishing Punchlines go unsolved forever?
Episode 51 - Run-On Sentence (Lock Up)
February 13, 2019 04:00 - 1 hour - 53.8 MBWe can't escape the steady stream of prison movies on the Arms Race Podcast, so we're back to discuss the 1989 prison drama Lock Up! On this episode we compare the realism of all of Sylvester Stallone's prison films, observe the gambling do's and don'ts of a cigarette-based economy, wonder who's on First Base (and who cares), wax nostalgic about the Ickey Shuffle, and finally decide to put our prison break skills to the test in video game form.
Episode 50 - The Algorithm Is Gonna Get You (Escape Plan 2: Hades)
January 30, 2019 04:00 - 1 hour - 51.8 MBWe're in a prison of our own making on the latest episode of the Arms Race podcast, as we discuss Escape Plan 2: Hades! We've perfected our podcast algorithms so that we can most efficiently bring you our discussions about magical satellites, robotic doctors, bug societies, finger painting, nefarious churches, prison cookies, and the wild world of the Chinese film industry.
Episode 49 - Planet Indiana (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2)
January 16, 2019 02:00 - 2 hours - 67.3 MBIt's the most ambitious crossover event in the history of the Arms Race Podcast, as we enter the realm of the Marvel Cinematic Universe to discuss Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2! In this episode Mike and Kevin discuss the finer points of 70s rock hits, museum exhibits, roll-out carpets, Mary Poppins, Pac-Man, Tastee Freez, space fireworks, corrective eyewear, and of course Bull from Night Court, before finally taking a 45-minute detour into the entirety of the Marvel cinematic canon.
Episode 48 - Palance of Power (Tango & Cash)
January 02, 2019 04:00 - 2 hours - 56.2 MBThe Arms Race podcast returns for a new year and a new season to discuss the 1989 buddy-cop action comedy, Tango & Cash! Two podcast hosts must team up to clear their names, using all the evidence they can gather -- including but not limited to: stuffed animal security systems, rodent-related health code violations, ill-advised accents, burlesque drumming techniques, alternate realities, forgotten 80s Saturday morning cartoons, mis-remembered 90s cereals, and a thorough investigation into the...
Bonus - Famous Original Shamus (Farewell My Lovely / The Long Goodbye)
December 05, 2018 04:00 - 1 hour - 32.5 MBIt's double jeopardy on the Arms Race podcast, as we discuss two 70s Phillip Marlowe movies which happen to feature few familiar faces: Farewell My Lovely and The Long Goodbye! It's our final bonus episode before we return in 2019 for another brand new season!
Bonus - Ring Around the Pokey (Death Race)
November 07, 2018 04:00 - 1 hour - 32.7 MBThe Arms Race podcast discusses the 2008 Jason Statham vehicle, Death Race!
Bonus - First Bud (Son of Rambow)
October 10, 2018 03:00 - 1 hour - 29.7 MBThe Arms Race podcast returns to discuss the Rambo-adjacent comedy, Son of Rambow!
Season 5 Recap
September 12, 2018 02:00 - 1 hour - 31.3 MBThe Arms Race podcast recaps its fifth season, the first dedicated to watching every Sylvester Stallone movie one by one. Special thanks to the Going the Distance podcast for the inside Rocky II info! You can find their podcast here: http://goingthedistance.libsyn.com/
Episode 47 - Ring Exchange (Rocky II)
August 29, 2018 03:00 - 2 hours - 69.7 MBIt's time to climb back into the ring on the Arms Race, as we go toe-to-toe about Rocky II! In this episode, Mike and Kevin argue about all of the finer points of the Rocky series' second outing, and in the process call into question Apollo Creed's judgement, Adrian's motives, Rocky's job hunting strategies, Mickey's running speed, and Frank Stallone's lyrical prowess. We're going the distance, in our most combative episode yet!
Episode 46 - Gripping Drama (Over the Top)
August 15, 2018 03:57 - 2 hours - 62 MBThe Arms Race Podcast keeps on trucking as we try to reconcile our opinions about the classic Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling film, Over the Top! In this episode, Mike and Kevin come to grips with the movie's strange mix of family drama and arm wrestling, speculate about the potential impact of yachting arm wrestlers on the sport, and disagree about the relative merits of hedging bets before finally finding some common ground thanks to the unique musical stylings of Kenny Loggins.
Episode 45 - Unintellectual Property (Ratchet & Clank)
August 01, 2018 04:19 - 1 hour - 41.1 MBThe Arms Race enters the mouth of madness to discuss the film adaptation of Ratchet & Clank. Normally this is where we would write a brief description of what to expect from this episode, but really, why bother? Why bother telling you that this episode examines the film's paint-by-numbers approach to storytelling, when the universe is cold and dark and unforgiving, without pity of remorse, mocking us with its ceaseless existential silence? For what is the purpose of mentioning that this podca...
Episode 44 - Maiming Convention (First Blood)
July 18, 2018 04:00 - 2 hours - 59.1 MBThe Arms Race podcast finally takes a bead on the Rambo series and pulls the trigger on the series' initial outing, First Blood! In this episode, Mike reengaged with the Rambo franchise, Kevin reveals his younger self to be the most unappreciative child in America, and together they pitch an alternate ending focused entirely on the local Dairy Queen.
Episode 43 - League of Detonations (The Specialist)
July 04, 2018 03:00 - 1 hour - 54.6 MBThe Arms Race Podcast celebrates America's independence by watching Sylvester Stallone blow up a small part of it in The Specialist! In this episode, Mike and Kevin scrutinize Sharon Stone's sizzling saxophone-suffused seduction strategies, find faults in the phoniest funeral found on film, become befuddled by a bevy of bizarre and baffling beats, and proceed to present a pair of pretentious pieces of poetry and prose for your perusal.
Episode 42 - Squad Goals (Escape to Victory)
June 20, 2018 03:00 - 1 hour - 45.1 MBAs World Cup fever grips the majority of the planet, there's no better time for the American hosts of the Arms Race podcast to demonstrate their general ignorance about soccer by discussing Sylvester Stallone's 1981 P.O.W. soccer movie, Escape to Victory! On this episode, Mike takes issue with the outcome of Stallone's escape attempts, Kevin takes issue with the outcome of the big soccer match, they both take issue with Michael Caine's level of effort on the pitch, and finally learn that the ...
Bonus - Yo Re Mi (Rocky: The Musical)
June 06, 2018 07:28 - 51 minutes - 23.6 MBThe Arms Race Podcast takes a short intermission from discussing Sylvester Stallone movies to talk about the theatrical Broadway production of Rocky: the Musical!
Episode 41 - Bicentennial Man (Rocky)
May 23, 2018 03:00 - 2 hours - 64.2 MBWe've got the chance of a lifetime to discuss a Best Picture winning film here on the Arms Race Podcast, and we won't let it pass us by! Join us as we discuss the boxing classic that launched a franchise: Rocky! On this episode, Mike and Kevin square off about the film's genre, speculate about the effects of both genders upon the weakness of a boxer's legs, question the solvency of Mr. Gazzo's criminal enterprise, and wonder if Paulie may have been an early adopter of home video technology.
Episode 40 - The French Quarter Gets Shortchanged (Bullet to the Head)
May 09, 2018 04:04 - 1 hour - 47.8 MBWe're headed to the Big Easy on the latest episode of the Arms Race podcast, to discuss the 2013 crime thriller Bullet to the Head! On this episode, Mike and Kevin struggle to care enough about the movie's plot to bother trying to make sense of it, wonder whether or not this buddy crime film has one buddy too many, take a look at the strange phenomenon of micro-mansions.
Episode 39 - Ride of Frankenstein (Death Race 2000)
April 25, 2018 03:00 - 1 hour - 48 MBThe Arms Race hits the road as we take a look at the fourth in our series on Sylvester Stallone movies, Death Race 2000! In this episode Mike and Kevin examine the merits of this cult classic's satire, try their best to make sense of the death race's ever-shifting rules, witness a contest of boxing vs. kung fu, and return to their roots to discuss one of the finest puns in our podcast's history.
Episode 38 - Fat Blue Line (Cop Land)
April 11, 2018 12:16 - 1 hour - 52.2 MBWe'll cop to being excited, here at the Arms Race podcast, to discuss the 1997 police drama Cop Land! On this episode, Mike and Kevin navigate their way through the movie's dense plot, try to make sense of New York jurisdictions, criticize Joey Randone's gambling strategies, and devise a new game show which dares to ask: are there any East Coast actors who haven't appeared in a Scorsese movie or in an episode of the Sopranos?
Episode 37 - Bland Ole Opry (Rhinestone)
March 28, 2018 01:57 - 1 hour - 42.8 MBThe Arms Race podcast returns to discuss a movie as tone-deaf as its lead actor: Rhinestone! In this episode, Mike and Kevin try to refrain from becoming downbeat as they decide whether this film strikes a minor chord, utilize a measure of creativity as they pitch some alternative story lines, make overtures towards some great background actors of old, and finally recite a chorus of praise for the happiest Dolly-Parton-themed place on earth.
Episode 36 - It's a Brave New World (Demolition Man)
March 14, 2018 02:55 - 1 hour - 49.2 MBThe Arms Race Podcast reawakens from its cryo-sleep to cover the first in our series of Sylvester Stallone movies: Demolition Man! In this episode Mike and Kevin discuss Wesley Snipes' bravura performance as Simon Phoenix, highlight the moral hypocrisies of Denis Leary, speculate about how the three seashells may or may not work, and iron out the kinks in their new library of mini-tunes (you call them segment bumpers). Simon says: take a listen!
Nothing Is Over! -- An Announcement
February 28, 2018 13:14 - 43 minutes - 19.9 MBWe're back to announce our new podcast: The Arms Race! In this continuation-slash-rebranding of Bad Puns and Machine Guns, Mike and Kevin will attempt to determine which action star has the highest body count in movie history. Our first step: watching every Sylvester Stallone movie one at a time.
Episode 35 - Drummer's In the House! (Expendables 3)
February 28, 2018 01:38 - 1 hour - 54.9 MBOriginally posted 1/24/2018 As the last remnants of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast expends itself, it embarks on its final mission: a discussion about Expendables 3! On this episode Mike and Kevin discuss the lengths that some franchises will go to court the youth audience, examine the suspicious reasons why nobody has ever seen the rest of Trench's team, voice their unwavering support for an unsung Marx brother, and pitch a handful of Expendables spinoffs they'd like to see.
Episode 34 - Chuck Norris Ate My Balls (Expendables 2)
February 28, 2018 01:28 - 1 hour - 54.1 MBOriginally posted 12/27/2017 Our podcast didn't cheat death, it won fair and square, and now we're here to put the laughter back in manslaughter as we discuss Expendables 2! On this episode Mike and Kevin kill two stones with one bird while discussing Barney Ross's housing situation, tally the film's unprecedented body count as easily as counting to infinity twice, and split the atom with their bare hands only to reveal the shocking truth about Spencer's Gifts' 21st Century inventory.
Episode 33 - Toll Road to Perdition (The Expendables)
February 28, 2018 01:18 - 1 hour - 47.6 MBOriginally posted 11/29/2017 The Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast may have ended, but we're soldiering on with a brand new episode about cinema's original Justice League: The Expendables! On this episode Mike and Kevin withstand a total onslaught of tonal shifts, rank the greatest Christmases in movie history, struggle to locate a well-disguised toupee, and finally discover that one of the film's stars is quite literally ageless.
Discussing Killing Gunther
February 27, 2018 23:31 - 1 hour - 33.1 MBOriginally posted 10/18/2017 The Bad Puns & Machine Guns podcast returns from their hiatus to discuss the new "Arnold Schwarzenegger movie", Killing Gunther.
The Bad Puns & Machine Guns Recap Schwarztavaganza Part 2
February 27, 2018 22:39 - 2 hours - 60 MBOriginally posted 8/23/2017 As the Bad Puns and Machine Guns Podcast gradually descends into its final resting place beneath a pit of molten lead, Mike and Kevin say their final farewells by ranking every single Arnold Schwarzenegger movie from #33 to #1. Thanks for listening!
The Bad Puns & Machine Guns Recap Schwarztavaganza Part 1
February 27, 2018 22:04 - 2 hours - 59.5 MBOriginally posted 8/9/2017 Mike and Kevin play judge, jury and executioner on this penultimate episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns Podcast, as they look back on the entirety of their podcast and award their overall top five favorite kills, puns, acting performances, musical scores, villains, Sven-Ole Thorsen appearances, and much more.
Episode 32 - Pops' Secret (Terminator Genisys)
February 27, 2018 21:55 - 2 hours - 79.5 MBOriginally posted 7/26/2017 The future is here on the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we terminate our fourth and final season with our in-depth discussion of Terminator Genisys! On this episode, Mike and Kevin enjoy the ride as the franchise launches itself off the deep end, wonder whether a Terminator would make for a model employee, rank their favorite John Connors from worst to first, and take one last deep dive into the ever-expanding madness of the Terminator timeline, all before...
Episode 31 - Of Wolves and Kings (Pumping Iron)
February 27, 2018 21:45 - 1 hour - 39.5 MBOriginally posted 7/12/2017 We couldn't be more pumped to bring you the penultimate episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss the classic Arnold Schwarzenegger bodybuilding docudrama, Pumping Iron! On this episode, Mike and Kevin attempt to separate fact from fiction, struggle to understand bodybuilding judging criteria, and dissect Arnold's competitive mind games while playing a few of their own.
Episode 30 - An Ill-Conceived Creation (Junior)
February 27, 2018 21:42 - 1 hour - 53.3 MBOriginally posted 6/28/2017 We're delivering another episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, and we're expecting nothing but misery as we discuss Arnold Schwarzenegger's 1994 comedy(?), Junior! On this episode, Mike and Kevin take an extended look at 1994 in cinema before finally forcing themselves to discuss the film in question, attempt to compile a list of the most horrifying babies in movie history, struggle to understand the movie's depiction of human anatomy, and take a deep ...
Episode 29 - Eighty-Four Percent (The 6th Day)
February 27, 2018 21:33 - 2 hours - 71.6 MBOriginally posted 6/14/2017 We're beside ourselves with joy on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss Arnold Schwarzenegger's cloning opus, The 6th Day! On this episode, sooner than you think, Mike and Kevin will discuss a near-future filled with a variety of horrific abominations, such as cloned pets, reluctant self-driving cars, laser light shows, mall monorails, demonic dolls, remote-controlled aircraft, remote-controlled dogs, nacho bananas, futuristic...
Episode 28 - Tango & Cache (True Lies)
February 27, 2018 21:29 - 2 hours - 64.7 MBOriginally posted 5/31/2017 We're telling nothing but the truth on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, and we're extending our invitation to join us as we discuss True Lies! On this episode, we attempt to deconstruct the French origins of this American action classic, draw a distinction between bad guys and "bad" guys, observe the age-old conflict between technology and horse, and try to determine which fictional spy Harry Tasker most resembles: James Bond, or James ...
Episode 27 - Hard Knoxville (The Last Stand)
February 27, 2018 21:23 - 2 hours - 65 MBOriginally posted 5/17/2017 We're building bridges instead of walls on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss Arnold Schwarzenegger's return to the silver screen in The Last Stand! On this episode, Mike and Kevin give Forest Whitaker a promotion from federal agent to godhood, scrutinize yet another in a long line of questionable Southern accents, fret about a SWAT team's ambiguous mission objectives, and make unnecessary alterations to a "classic" Saturday...
Episode 26 - Appraising Grace (Conan the Destroyer)
February 27, 2018 21:17 - 1 hour - 49 MBOriginally posted 5/3/2017 It's our most combative episode yet on the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, which couldn't be more appropriate for our discussion of Conan the Destroyer! On this episode we clash over the relative merits of Grace Jones, debate the finer points of human-to-camel etiquette, preside as Dungeon Masters over the Battle of Garaj Dore, and declare Conan's impatience to be his greatest virtue.
Episode 25 - The Icing on the Cake (Raw Deal)
February 27, 2018 21:12 - 2 hours - 61.9 MBOriginally posted 4/19/2017 The Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast returns for its fourth and final season to discuss our final foray into Arnold Schwarzenegger's low budget catalogue: Raw Deal! On this episode, Mike and Kevin discuss the improper usage of grenades, bulletproof glass and Trivial Pursuit questions, attempt to determine if magnets could in fact be used to rig a craps table, and tally a multitude of ways NOT to fake your own death.
BPAMG Discusses Aftermath
February 27, 2018 20:23 - 59 minutes - 27.1 MBOriginally posted 4/9/2017 The Bad Puns and Machine Guns Podcast comes to you (nearly) live and direct, as we bring you our take on Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest film, Aftermath! Join us as Mike and Kevin offer their rawest reactions to the film and emerge a bit worse for wear, in more ways than one. NOTE: Aside from some basic information regarding the movie's premise, this episode is spoiler-free through 28:20.
Bonus - King Willie Style (Predator 2)
February 27, 2018 20:19 - 1 hour - 45.4 MBOriginally posted 3/22/2017 Hunting season opens again on the latest episode of the Bad Puns & Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss yet another Arnold-less sequel to one of his classic films: Predator 2! In this episode, we question the wisdom of casting Danny Glover as a futuristic super-cop, examine the superstitions surrounding spilled cocaine, check Adam Baldwin for a pulse, and wonder if our replacement-level Predator is ready for the big leagues.
Bonus - Robots in Disguise (Terminator Salvation)
February 27, 2018 20:14 - 1 hour - 49 MBOriginally posted 3/8/2017 If you're listening to the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, you are the resistance. That's because we're here to discuss the only Arnold-less entry into the Terminator canon thus far: Terminator Salvation! On this episode we draw comparisons to this movie's contemporaries in the killer robot genre, Kevin speaks ill of the dead, Mike speaks ill of two living directors, and we both speak ill of Terminator Salvation's final act.
Bonus - A Bear in His Department (Jingle All the Way 2)
February 27, 2018 20:10 - 54 minutes - 24.8 MBOriginally posted 2/22/2017 It's Christmas all over again on the latest episode of the Bad Puns & Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss yet another straight-to-video sequel to a Schwarzenegger classic: it's Jingle All the Way 2, starring Larry the Cable Guy. On this episode, Mike and Kevin try to make sense of the geographical and meteorological oddity that is Larry the Cable Guy's home town, speculate about the kinds of movies WWE Films might've made in the 1980s, and unleash a salvo of box-r...
Episode 24 - Funky Ex Machina (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines)
February 27, 2018 19:58 - 2 hours - 72.7 MBOriginally posted 1/25/2017 Judgment Day has arrived for the Terminator franchise on the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we argue over the fallout of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines! On this episode, Mike and Kevin debate the relative merits of the franchise's first post-James-Cameron entry, puzzle over the many powers and weapons of the franchise's new villainess, scrutinize the film's unorthodox use of sound effects, marvel over the R&D advancements made by the U.S. military's top...
Episode 23 - Snakes on a Plain (Conan the Barbarian)
February 27, 2018 19:53 - 2 hours - 72 MBOriginally posted 1/11/2017 What is best in life? The latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast! It is we, Arnold's chroniclers, who alone can tell you about the sword-and-sorcery classic, Conan the Barbarian! On this episode, Mike and Kevin question the quality of Thulsa Doom's personnel decisions, wonder about the Wheel of Pain franchising rights, bust out their utterly flawless James Earl Jones impressions, and look to John Milius and Oliver Stone for some post-election poli...
Episode 22 - Byrne Baby Byrne (End of Days)
February 27, 2018 19:38 - 2 hours - 66.7 MBOriginally posted 12/28/2016 We're partying like it's 1999 on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, and we're ringing in the new year with the cinematic apocalypse known as End of Days! On this episode Mike and Kevin note the suspicious parallels between this movie and its contemporaries, discuss the deep cultural divide between flashlight people and candle people, reminisce about the Y2K apocalypse that never was, and wage an eternal battle with the operating system f...
Episode 21 - It's the Most Turbo Time of the Year (Jingle All the Way)
February 27, 2018 19:30 - 2 hours - 63.4 MBOriginally posted 12/12/2016 Hang your stockings and say your prayers, cause the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast is coming tonight with our discussion of Jingle All the Way! We don't know if there'll be snow, but we do know if this Schwarzenegger holiday classic is bad or good, for goodness' sake. On this episode, Mike compares this movie's depictions of holiday shopping horrors to the ones he used to know, Kevin reveals that all he wants for Christmas is to karate chop a belt out of a box...
Episode 20 - Filmicus Stupidus (The Villain)
February 27, 2018 19:21 - 1 hour - 28.7 MBOriginally posted 11/30/2016 We've gone looney on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast from discussing The Villain, Arnold's first foray into the field of comedy, and our first foray into the mouth of madness. In this episode, Mike and Kevin question the wisdom of making a feature-length live-action cartoon, question their ability to find topics of discussion relating to this movie, question their life choices which led them to this moment, question their own tenuous g...
Episode 19 - The Rottmayer Redemption (Escape Plan)
February 27, 2018 19:18 - 2 hours - 60.3 MBOriginally posted 11/16/2016 We're sticking to our convictions on the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast as we discuss Escape Plan, the Schwarzenegger / Stallone prison break movie where the choice is simple: get busy killing, or get busy dying. In this episode, Mike and Kevin discuss the usefulness of out-of-state personalized license plates, speculate about Stallone's out-of-office email message, witness Arnold drawing outside the lines, criticize our heroes' out-of-th...
Episode 18 - A Game of Chicken Kiev (Red Heat)
February 27, 2018 19:08 - 2 hours - 59.2 MBOriginally posted 11/2/2016 The Cold War heats up in the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast as we discuss Red Heat, the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where destruction is always mutually assured. In this episode, Mike and Kevin give a local perspective on Red Heat's depiction of Chicago, marvel at CPD's casual attitude towards their Soviet interlopers, learn about the nefarious crime of currency speculation, and scratch their heads over the state of motel pornography in th...
Episode 17 - The Great Gatling Governors (Predator)
February 27, 2018 19:01 - 2 hours - 66.7 MBOriginally posted 10/19/2016 The Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast returns for a brand new season, and jeez we've got a big episode! Jeez we've got a big episode as we discuss Predator, the movie where the handshakes are as explosive as the hand grenades. On this episode, Mike and Kevin play favorites with Dutch's crew, discuss Jean-Claude Van Damme's lucid performance, and speculate about the Predator's possible anti-American sentiment, before finally dropping themselves into the movie meat...
Bonus - P Is for Pineapple (Kindergarten Cop 2)
February 27, 2018 01:37 - 1 hour - 33.4 MBOriginally posted 10/5/2016 Accept no substitutes in the latest episode of the Bad Puns and Machine Guns podcast, as we discuss the Schwarzenegger-less direct-to-video Kindergarten Cop sequel the entire world was clamoring for: Kindergarten Cop 2! In this episode we give the screenwriters a failing grade, we present our comparative analysis in relation to the seminal 80s classic Mac and Me, and we take a field trip to the land of bad impressions.