Almost Certainly Not
54 episodes - English - Latest episode: 5 months ago - ★★★★★ - 5 ratingsIn 2020 Dan Lauer was a terrified new father, writer, and raconteur who suffered from anxiety, and major depressive disorder and had been diagnosed as falling somewhere on the autism spectrum. Each week for fifteen weeks, he attempted to get better by analyzing and attacking those parts of himself he wishes to change. He does not like talking to people, so he decided to talk at them instead and be as honest as possible. It is now 2023 and he is not all better.
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed
Episodes
SPECIAL: THE PLATFORM | An Audio Play Based On "La Jetée"
November 17, 2023 02:44 - 24 minutes - 46 MBTHE PLATFORM is an audio play adaptation by author and filmmaker Dan Lauer of Chris Marker's seminal 1967 French film "La Jetée" which serves as the basis for the film "12 Monkeys." The following rules were set for the adaptation by Dan Lauer: He must speak all the dialogue He may only use sound effects and music included in Final Cut Pro X (no downloads) He may not add anything to the plot to elaborate or clarify The final product may not be longer than 25 minutes Watch the origin...
Season 2 Episode 9 | Brain Damage
April 13, 2020 02:58 - 1 hour - 78.9 MB"The stabbing horror of life is not contained in calamities and disasters, because these things wake one up and one gets very familiar and intimate with them and finally they become tame again. No, it is more like being in a hotel room in Hoboken let us say, and just enough money in one's pocket for another meal." -- Henry Miller MUSIC: Slow Burn & Just As Soon Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/lice...
Season 2 Episode 8 | Any Colour You Like
March 20, 2020 08:38 - 1 hour - 35.2 MBLeyla makes her triumphant return, while Dan drinks too much (for these days), shares too much and points to the sky, saying: "The sun's not yellow, it's chicken!" MUSIC: Slow Burn & Just As Soon Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 2 Episode 7 | Us & Them
March 18, 2020 04:49 - 5 minutes - 6.97 MBNo update today. Just a thing I wrote. I don't remember when and cannot say why. It's called "Mrs. America".
Season 2 Episode 6 | Money
March 09, 2020 22:52 - 1 hour - 44.1 MBYeah, I was in the right! Yes, absolutely in the right! I certainly was in the right! Yeah, I was definitely in the right; that geezer was cruising for a bruising...Yeah. Why does anyone do anything? I don't know, I was really drunk at the time... MUSIC: Slow Burn & Just As Soon Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 2 Episode 5 | The Great Gig In The Sky
February 26, 2020 11:38 - 1 hour - 89 MBFor the first time in a long time Dan does an episode solo. He doesn't like it. This, actually, should be considered a spinoff called "Maybe Certainly Not." Regardless, Dan has some updates about what is going on, upsides, downsides and progress, slow that it may be. Never fear, Leyla will return in episode 6. MUSIC: Slow Burn & Just As Soon Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 2 Episode 4 | Time
February 05, 2020 03:57 - 1 hour - 39.6 MBO judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me. MUSIC: Slow Burn & Just As Soon Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 2 Episode 3 | On The Run
January 28, 2020 21:51 - 1 hour - 46.1 MBOn Thursday, 23 January 2020 at 9:54 PM EST Leyla received a text message originating from Dan's phone number requesting that she call if available. She was and did. In the 13 years that Dan and Leyla have known each other Dan has never once made that request. He still hasn't to this day. MUSIC: Slow Burn & Just As Soon Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 2 Episode 2 | Breathe In The Air
January 20, 2020 05:58 - 1 hour - 50.5 MBLeyla is very gross in a lot of ways. Dan is very antisocial in every conceivable way. Leyla calls Dan a psychopath more than once. It turns out that Dan's imaginary friend made an appearance on the last episode and neither Dan or Leyla were aware of it. And much, much more, none of which is repeatable in polite company. MUSIC: Slow Burn & Just As Soon Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 2 Episode 1 | Speak To Me
January 13, 2020 17:33 - 1 hour - 43.8 MBDan has had a very bad week, having lost much of his forward momentum and comes to some important, but difficult realizations that he and Leyla explore. Leyla still knows absolutely nothing about The Beatles. And the "breakfast" mystery is solved...kind of. MUSIC: Slow Burn & Just As Soon Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 22 | Aftermath
January 06, 2020 10:34 - 1 hour - 50.2 MBLeyla helps Dan solve a mystery. Dan discovers what breakfast is really all about. Leyla doesn’t want to get in touch with college Leyla for a variety of reasons. Dan relates multiple disquieting tales related to his mental health…but what else is new? MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 22 | Aftermath
January 06, 2020 10:34 - 1 hour - 50.2 MBLeyla helps Dan solve a mystery. Dan discovers what breakfast is really all about. Leyla doesn’t want to get in touch with college Leyla for a variety of reasons. Dan relates multiple disquieting tales related to his mental health…but what else is new? MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 21 | Leyla Versus Pettyman and the Meaninggoround, Part One
December 26, 2019 04:50 - 1 hour - 46.2 MBWARNING: The contents of this episode may be disturbing or frightening to some listeners. This is not an enticement or a teaser. This is true. However, the audio is being released, in it's entirety, in order to maintain the goal and reason for the existence of this podcast: to illuminate and to tell a very specific story. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 21 | Leyla Versus Pettyman and the Meaninggoround, Part One
December 26, 2019 04:50 - 1 hour - 46.2 MBWARNING: The contents of this episode may be disturbing or frightening to some listeners. This is not an enticement or a teaser. This is true. However, the audio is being released, in it's entirety, in order to maintain the goal and reason for the existence of this podcast: to illuminate and to tell a very specific story. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 20 | Ye Mighty, And Despair!
December 23, 2019 03:10 - 1 hour - 34.5 MBThe question time tables get turned on Leyla, much to Dan's delight. While Dan expounds on his tortuous thought process, particularly with regards to breasts. He also recites a poem. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 20 | Ye Mighty, And Despair!
December 23, 2019 03:10 - 1 hour - 34.5 MBThe question time tables get turned on Leyla, much to Dan's delight. While Dan expounds on his tortuous thought process, particularly with regards to breasts. He also recites a poem. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 19 | Ulysses
December 14, 2019 22:37 - 1 hour - 51.5 MBDan makes some new, shocking revelations about that part of himself that shall not be named. Leyla asks Dan absolutely anything, in addition to taking on all social media responsibilities for the show because of Dan's ineptitude. Leyla has a pulled groin, but powers through heroically. Both horror and hilarity ensue. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 19 | Ulysses
December 14, 2019 22:37 - 1 hour - 51.5 MBDan makes some new, shocking revelations about that part of himself that shall not be named. Leyla asks Dan absolutely anything, in addition to taking on all social media responsibilities for the show because of Dan's ineptitude. Leyla has a pulled groin, but powers through heroically. Both horror and hilarity ensue. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 18 | Meddle
December 08, 2019 07:35 - 1 hour - 43.9 MB"Did you miss me?" -- Jim Moriarty MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 18 | Meddle
December 08, 2019 07:35 - 1 hour - 43.9 MB"Did you miss me?" -- Jim Moriarty MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 17 | Mother Superior Jumped The Gun
December 01, 2019 08:29 - 1 hour - 43 MBThe show takes a turn for the better with the addition of the one and only Leyla Lawrence as a permanent co-host, helping to add a voice of reason to a show that typically contains anything but. We cover previous episode reactions, my treatment progress and complications therein and, believe it or not, we dip a toe in Me Too. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 17 | Mother Superior Jumped The Gun
December 01, 2019 08:29 - 1 hour - 43 MBThe show takes a turn for the better with the addition of the one and only Leyla Lawrence as a permanent co-host, helping to add a voice of reason to a show that typically contains anything but. We cover previous episode reactions, my treatment progress and complications therein and, believe it or not, we dip a toe in Me Too. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 16 | Young, Dumb & Full of Cum
November 25, 2019 07:18 - 55 minutes - 64.5 MBThe saga continues with guest Leyla Lawrence. Things get personal. Things get complicated. Things get serious. Things get fucking ridiculous. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 16 | Young, Dumb & Full of Cum
November 25, 2019 07:18 - 55 minutes - 64.5 MBThe saga continues with guest Leyla Lawrence. Things get personal. Things get complicated. Things get serious. Things get fucking ridiculous. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 15 | Failure Is An Option
November 17, 2019 11:14 - 1 hour - 42.2 MBThere are many words one could use to describe me. Misanthrope. Curmudgeon. Loner. Prick. Asshole. And they’d be right. But a word not often associated with me, is friend. You, dear listeners, would likely not disagree. And you’d be right, more often than not. But not always. My first guest ever on the show is appearing, in part, to prove that. She is a commercial, film and television actress, a national voice over artist and a performer at Orlando area theme parks. Please welcome, to Almost...
Season 1 Episode 15 | Failure Is An Option
November 17, 2019 11:14 - 1 hour - 42.2 MBThere are many words one could use to describe me. Misanthrope. Curmudgeon. Loner. Prick. Asshole. And they’d be right. But a word not often associated with me, is friend. You, dear listeners, would likely not disagree. And you’d be right, more often than not. But not always. My first guest ever on the show is appearing, in part, to prove that. She is a commercial, film and television actress, a national voice over artist and a performer at Orlando area theme parks. Please welcome, to Almost...
Episode 14 | Kernel Panic
November 12, 2019 08:23 - 54 minutes - 63.5 MBKernel Panic: a safety measure taken by an operating system upon detecting a fatal error in which it either is unable to safely recover or cannot have the system continue to run without having a higher risk of major data loss. Panic Attack: a sudden episode of intense fear or anxiety and physical symptoms, based on a perceived threat rather than imminent danger. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativec...
Season 1 Episode 14 | Kernel Panic
November 12, 2019 08:23 - 54 minutes - 63.5 MBKernel Panic: a safety measure taken by an operating system upon detecting a fatal error in which it either is unable to safely recover or cannot have the system continue to run without having a higher risk of major data loss. Panic Attack: a sudden episode of intense fear or anxiety and physical symptoms, based on a perceived threat rather than imminent danger. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativec...
Episode 13 | Unfriendly Radio Unit Shifter
November 02, 2019 09:29 - 46 minutes - 55.1 MBMemory is a funny thing, especially when yours no longer works properly. The worst part about not remembering something is that you can't remember that you can't remember. I explore this and more, in depth, in today's episode. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 13 | Unfriendly Radio Unit Shifter
November 02, 2019 09:29 - 46 minutes - 55.1 MBMemory is a funny thing, especially when yours no longer works properly. The worst part about not remembering something is that you can't remember that you can't remember. I explore this and more, in depth, in today's episode. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 12 | Lithium, Nicotine & Crippling Self Doubt
October 23, 2019 10:36 - 51 minutes - 60.4 MBThe extent to which life can at once become both simpler and more confused is maddening. As is consistent lack of sleep. Additionally, the second point has a lot of influence on the first. These disparate thoughts, and more, are explored in detail. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 12 | Lithium, Nicotine & Crippling Self Doubt
October 23, 2019 10:36 - 51 minutes - 60.4 MBThe extent to which life can at once become both simpler and more confused is maddening. As is consistent lack of sleep. Additionally, the second point has a lot of influence on the first. These disparate thoughts, and more, are explored in detail. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 11 | One of My Turns
October 17, 2019 02:34 - 55 minutes - 65 MBIt's always best practice to reach for the stars, but it's also possible to get burned. There can be a wide gulf between expectations, hopes, wildest dreams and reality. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 11 | One of My Turns
October 17, 2019 02:34 - 55 minutes - 65 MBIt's always best practice to reach for the stars, but it's also possible to get burned. There can be a wide gulf between expectations, hopes, wildest dreams and reality. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 10 | Shock Treatment
October 06, 2019 16:39 - 56 minutes - 66.3 MBDesperate times call for desperate measures. Sometimes that entails resorting to a mental health treatment typically regarded in the modern age as barbaric and passe. The truth of the matter is far more complicated. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 10 | Shock Treatment
October 06, 2019 16:39 - 56 minutes - 66.3 MBDesperate times call for desperate measures. Sometimes that entails resorting to a mental health treatment typically regarded in the modern age as barbaric and passe. The truth of the matter is far more complicated. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 9 | Long Way Down
September 20, 2019 04:33 - 31 minutes - 37.1 MBThe view from the bottom is dark and lonely. But fighting is always an option. With the right kind of eyes, fighting is the only option. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 9 | Long Way Down
September 20, 2019 04:33 - 31 minutes - 37.1 MBThe view from the bottom is dark and lonely. But fighting is always an option. With the right kind of eyes, fighting is the only option. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 8 | The Talking Cure
September 19, 2019 18:48 - 46 minutes - 54.3 MB“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.” ― Sigmund Freud "Being entirely honest with oneself is a nearly unbearable exercise that often leaves one in a more tenuous position than when they began." ― Dan Lauer MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 8 | The Talking Cure
September 19, 2019 18:48 - 46 minutes - 54.3 MB“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.” ― Sigmund Freud "Being entirely honest with oneself is a nearly unbearable exercise that often leaves one in a more tenuous position than when they began." ― Dan Lauer MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 7 | On The Topic of Murderous Rage
September 08, 2019 16:55 - 53 minutes - 62.7 MBHave you ever thought: "I could just kill somebody right now"? To what extent did you mean it? MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 7 | On The Topic of Murderous Rage
September 08, 2019 16:55 - 53 minutes - 62.7 MBHave you ever thought: "I could just kill somebody right now"? To what extent did you mean it? MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 6 | Drop a Line
September 03, 2019 19:39 - 44 minutes - 52.2 MBIt's a dangerous thing to live a life where you won't accept advice. It's worse still to not even seek it. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 6 | Drop a Line
September 03, 2019 19:39 - 44 minutes - 52.2 MBIt's a dangerous thing to live a life where you won't accept advice. It's worse still to not even seek it. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 5 | Smoking
August 19, 2019 06:01 - 37 minutes - 44.3 MBOn bad days the craving is strong. On good days it is unbearable. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 5 | Smoking
August 19, 2019 06:01 - 37 minutes - 44.3 MBOn bad days the craving is strong. On good days it is unbearable. MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 4 | Bloodsports
August 11, 2019 00:38 - 45 minutes - 54 MB"It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience." --Julius Caesar MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 4 | Bloodsports
August 11, 2019 00:38 - 45 minutes - 54 MB"It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience." --Julius Caesar MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Episode 3 | Bullshit
August 04, 2019 03:39 - 46 minutes - 88.2 MBSome people just know it when they see it. Some seem to have their eyes turned to the wall. Which are you? Can we tell? MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Season 1 Episode 3 | Bullshit
August 04, 2019 03:39 - 46 minutes - 88.2 MBSome people just know it when they see it. Some seem to have their eyes turned to the wall. Which are you? Can we tell? MUSIC: Slow Burn Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/