30: Thriving in Sex Work with Lola Davina

This particular episode comes at a time when it’s essential to talk about the experiences of sex workers. In the past week, not only was December 17 international day to end violence against sex workers, but December 19 also marked one year since exotic dancer Stacey Tierney died. Stacey's body was found at Dreams Gentlemen’s Club in Melbourne, 12 hours after she was seen partying with several patrons. Her death is believed to be caused by a drug overdose, but no confirmation of this has been made.

 
Because no one has been charged with her highly suspicious death, more than 1300 signatures have been collected to call on Victoria Police to find out what happened.
Sex workers and their allies around the world are outraged, because it normalises a stigma around sex work: that it's inherently dangerous, and that sex workers aren’t entitled to the same workplace safety laws.
 
It’s this kind of prejudice that plays into the myth that sex workers are responsible for crimes committed against them. While there is no evidence yet about how Stacey died, the media diminished her life and her death with salacious speculation about her ‘secret’ life ... which must be heart-breaking for her grieving family and friends who received no closure.
Sex work, and sex workers, DO MATTER. And that’s the message of this episode.
It’s a sentiment that author Lola Davina explores in her self-help book [amazon_textlink asin='0998892068' text='Thriving in Sex Work. ' template='ProductLink' store='allwecannotsa-20' marketplace='US' link_id='8f36fc6f-e6d4-11e7-8edf-09f7dd9b8cec']As a former sex worker, Davina has first-hand insight and advice for staying sane, healthy and happy within an industry that’s so often misunderstood.

In this episode, we talk about mental health and sex work, and:
Stoic philosophy and Seneca
Pre-emptive negative visualisation
Front-load thinkings versus back-end thinking
The gift of fear
Practical fears versus unwarranted fears
Stigma and sex work
Staying safe as a sex worker
The fantasy of the girlfriend experience (GFE)
Authenticity and personal brands
What IS important in sex work? Regular customer service!
The history of monogamy, sex and love
Rachel Hills and The Sex Myth
Mindfulness meditation
The essential soft skills for sex work: awareness, empathy, patience and practice
Legislation and sex work
Brit Marling on men as gatekeepers of economics
The psychology of commodified sexuality
What to do if your partner wants to try and a fantasy and you DON'T
Row Murray and For Foxe’s Sake
The pros and cons of self publishing
The Places that Scare You by Pema Chodron
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
How to Be an Adult by David Rihco
Developing boundaries as a sex worker
Developing boundaries as part of a secure identity
Harvey Weinstein and consent
 
Buy Lola’s book on Amazon.
Follow Lola on Twitter.
Sign the petition to demonstrate your support for Stacey Tierney's case.