22: Manhood and mental health with James Ferne

Men, on average, die five years younger than women, and researchers believe that a big part of that gap is about social isolation. In other words, men are dying before women, to some extent, due to a lack of support amongst men themselves.
It’s also true that there’s a tendency for men to avoid seeking care for depression and our cultural norms discourage men from seeking help for mental illness.

In the interest of discussing these alarming statistics from someone with more experiential wisdom, I spoke with James Ferne of The Men's Collective. They're a Melbourne based support group for millennial men to self-reveal, reflect and support one another all in the name of personal development and mental health. Ultimately, The Men’s collective is a space for dudes to be seen and heard, and to break down barriers of pride, shame and stigma.

In this episode, we talk about:

The effect of WW1 and 2 on masculinity
Why your friends can’t always give you advice
Why you need an objective sounding board
The benefit of an objective understanding
The difference between speaking form the heart and the head
The art of manliness
Why inner strength is a muscle
The shame in over-sharing
Is your drunk self your real self?
The physiological pain of social rejection - it actually HURTS physically
Limbic resonance and how our parents teach us how to respond emotionally
Beyond Mars and Venus by John Gray
Why guys find it easier to open up through activity
Why suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45
Men are 3 times more likely to die from suicide than women
Manhood by Steve Biddulph
The effect of the industrial revolution on gender roles
Alex White and Modern Masculinity
Why we only see the 1% of what men look like on social media
What is a fuckboi?
How to cultivate a space of honesty and self-revelation
The hierarchy of honesty
Social media anxiety
The over-pathologisation of feelings
How to know when it's time to see a psychologist
Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
Marshall Rosenburg and the Theory of NonViolent Communication

 

The Men's Collective holds monthly meetings for young men throughout Melbourne. Find out when the next event is on Facebook.