Plus Size - Resizing Your Mind to Match Your Body

So if you have listened to any of my other episodes, you know I struggle with my weight constantly.  I had a gastric bypass in October of 2003.  I weighed 323 pounds I think that was the highest.  I was a size 34 at the time.  The weight did come off quickly.  By the end of 2003, I was down to a size 24 or smaller.  I lost enough weight that I was down to 161 by March or April of 2004.  That is also when I developed food allergies.  A couple of my friends that also had lost the weight by gastric bypass gave me bags and bags of clothes.  It was weird looking through the clothes.  I would pick out things that were too big.  I would try them on and then was amazed that they were too big.  I still saw me as the person that weighed over 300lbs.  The strange thing about me weighing that much, was that neither my arms nor my legs were obese like some people that you see.  

My life changed immensely, except for two things.  1) I couldn’t see the change in my mind and 2) I still don’t like to shop.  I weighed every day in the morning.  I know a lot of people say that is just a number and that is right, but when you have always been laughed at or made fun of because of that number, it has a lot of impact on your life.  So I always put too much emphasis on weighing but I can’t stop that.  The highest weight I have been since the surgery was 269.  I lost back down to 172.  Recently I’ve gained back to 234.  I’m slowly losing that off again.  Walking, Jogging and running is my new passion and I’ve tried to start that back on a normal routine.  I’m currently in a size 18 in shorts, but an extra-large in shirts but that is only because I don’t like my body being squeezed by my clothing. 

In 2005, I had just started trying to find smaller clothes that fit me correctly and I believe I was down to a 14 in some things, 16 in most and I was comfortable with my body then.  However, the man I was dating during that time made fun of me for being overweight.  I didn’t know that until my mom told me he would make faces when I sat in his lap.  

When you lose weight as fast as I did, your mind doesn’t have time to catch up to your body.  I still don’t look at myself in the mirror and I don’t know that will ever change.  So for anyone out there that is losing weight quickly, I guess my advice would be to train your mind to match your body.  I do try to do that still to this day.  I felt good the first time I put on a leopard print dress and wore it with black boots or when I found a pant suit that was a size 14 and fit me really good and I felt pretty.  I’ve not felt that way a lot.  I’ve always used jackets and sweaters to camouflage my body.  I think part of that was a defense mechanism so I wouldn’t be laughed at or made fun of or whispered about. 

I guess the biggest thing I want to share is to be proud of what you accomplish with weight loss.  Take time to get your body and mind in sync.  Don’t be afraid to move out of the comfort zone with clothes and with hiding your new body.  

It wasn’t until 2019 that I was able to have the excess skin removed and some liposuction to remove some fat around my sides and my back.  That was worth it as well.  I will get back to the size 14; it’s just going to take some time for me to get there.  

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Thanks,
Laura